To want to go home?

[PrairieDog]

We have been living in midwest USA for just over 2 years on secondment with DH's job. The first year flew by (had a baby, all new, big house, big car etc etc) last year was a little harder and this year since Christmas has been TERRIBLE. I have tried so hard to make friends and although I do see people a lot (am at home with 3 dcs oldest at school) I have literally no friends .

I suddenly feel like I've run out of energy after throwing myself into everything and trying really really hard to make a go of things. I cannot work because of the visa and also DH's job takes him away a lot so I am finding myself lonely for the first time in my life.

We were planning to go somewhere else in the US after this job finishes but I've just realised I can't do that and I need to go home. I miss my family, friends, job and just so many things about the UK. We have tentatively agreed to stay to the end of 2011 BUT Dh is absolutely GUTTED about going home.

I think he knows I have to or I will get depressed or something but he feels he's much more employable here and has a lot more opportunities. I am worried its going to cause us serious problems if he doesn't get a good job back in the UK. I am sure he will but right now I feel like he's so desperately disappointed and its my fault.

I don't know whether I want advice but I don't think IABU to need to go home. My reasoning is that no job is worth me being totally miserable but at the moment he is so disappointed and grumpy and I just feel like shit.

Northeastgirl yes maybe but I don't know if we could justify the childcare cost / hassle. We have one at school and 2 little ones so it would be a headache.

I think I will have to find something to do though even if we are heading back at the end of this year.

For the moment ,you could try looking on FB .

There are normally some ex-pat local groups ~you might be able to make some friends .

There is one near-ish me , and I am in a teeny tiny town ...you never know :)

You could be right about it being different in another place. 'America' is so big and there are so many huge differences between areas (climate/culture etc). But if you want to go home, you want to go home! Good luck.

Thanks doley will give it a go!

I sent you a PM :)

"Heavens OP you should thank your lucky stars that you had and have the opportunity NOT to live in this godforsaken dump of a country. I say embrace your current situation, it simply cannot be worse than living here"

How ridiculous that is catchmeifyoucan.

You have clearly never lived abroad, you are clearly pretty untravelled too.

There may be things wrong with some aspects of life here in the UK, but until you live somewhere else, you won't see them.

This place is very, very far from being godforsaken. I've lived in godforsaken, 3 god awfully long, utterly wasted years, and it looks, feels, smells and sounds totally alien different to this land. I truly love my country and most of it's inhabitants. It's a good place, with good people.

PrairieDog, my sister lived in NYC for 3 years and even though it was her that was the applicant, her job the paid the bills etc, a great house, fabulous social life etc, they both had green cards in the end too, she never really settled. They are now back home, and although daunted by her decision, happy and hopeful that she has made the right one.

Bear in mind that you can end up being just as lonely in the UK. Since we moved to this town 10 years ago, I have found it impossible to make friends - exactly the reasons that you say, OP! If you weren't born here, went to school here & married someone you went to school with - then they aren't interested. We have tried so hard.

Can wait to retire so we can move away.