Very upset with dp, he says iabu.

[GeraldineAubergine]

Yesterday it was the anniversary of my mums death, tomorrow it would have been her birthday. Dp knows these dates and also knew I might feel a bit low. He came home a bit pissed, which I don't mind per se, but was then pretty obnoxious making snidey comments etc. It escalated until I was commenting on a newspaper article and he laughed at me and said I didnt know what i was talking about and basically belittled me. I snapped and asked him why he had to be rude and why we can't just talk about random things without him being so dismissive. He then really shouted telling me to fuck off etc.
I went to the other room, I don't like arguing and slept on the sofa as I felt he was so rude and horrible when I was down. I wouldn't eat the food he ordered either. Today he's acting as if im in the wrong asking if iv 'calmed down'. He's made me doubt myself. Aibu (and petty) or was he?

Thanks bringonthegoat. He is always irritable/grumpy lately, I ask him what's wrong, try and cheer him up etc. but he will just say nothings up, acts like Im annoying him by being concerned. If he has an issue with me I'd like to fix it, but he wouldn't tell me if he did. Perhaps that's where we differ. God I sound like a right misery. I'm not normally like this.

Sounds like he is miserable and successfully projecting his feelings onto you. If he is 'fine' - leave it there. he is a big boy - let him deal with his own difficult feelings. it is not your job to make him feel better.

His behaviour is strange though, belittling you, making you feel silly for showing concern, acting differently. Something needs to change there or you will end up in a very personally difficult situation - and a destructive one x