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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in thinking HV's could be a bit more flexible

24 replies

Morph2 · 10/03/2011 20:03

Went back to work last week, having had 10 months off altogether maternity and holiday. Am working part time Monday-Wed on 3 months trial so really want to make this work so it can be made permanent.

HV wants me go for 9-12 month review. Apparently they can only do these on a Tuesday and not after 4pm so i'm going to have to swap my Tuesday to work thursday or Friday that week. Being its only my 2nd week back am worried it will make my employer think i'm going to be swapping days all the time and scupper my chances of PT being made permanent.

OP posts:

ruddynorah · 10/03/2011 20:06

do you want the review? you can say no.

mmsmum · 10/03/2011 20:06

You don't have to though. She/he can't be the only HV in the world, see someone else, or if you want to see someone, make an appointment with your gp

Bananamash · 10/03/2011 20:08

I would probably put my foot down and say no to hv....

Have you explained to her why you do not want to do it on tuesdy daytime?

RenniesFromHeaven · 10/03/2011 20:08

Say no, ask them to rebook.

With dd2, I didn't entertain even having them around!!

littleducks · 10/03/2011 20:09

I would either not have a review, take baby to GP to discuss any problems or send baby with their childcarer if possible ( i have seen grandmothers/au pairs/nannies at these things...the nannies always seem to take their own notes)

HumphreyCobbler · 10/03/2011 20:10

you really don't have to go to a review.

I wouldn't start swapping my days around at this point in time, just for that. I would only change things around if I really had to, and a HV review is not that important.

If you just refuse to go they will schedule you in for one in a few months or so.

littleducks · 10/03/2011 20:10

oh and its a 9-12 month review so a wide window could it maybe even wait till you get your permanent contract?

MadameCastafiore · 10/03/2011 20:11

So if the HV wants to work part time she can't because people like you will get arsey????

Original poster

Morph2 · 10/03/2011 20:12

We only have 2 HV's as i live in a village and both only do these appointments on Tuesdays. I did want to take him as they are reasonably good when you actually see them. Also it says in the letter that you have to attend in order to get the bookstart books. I think i will probably cancel and leave for a few months as he is only 9 1/2 months at the minute.

OP posts:

mmsmum · 10/03/2011 20:13

I've been thinking, I didn't have a 9-12 month check. I had 6 weeks at home, and then one visit to the surgery where I was very unhappy that they stripped DD to her nappy and put her in a steel bath thing to weigh her, it was freezing and she was screaming, they ignored me when I asked them to leave her alone so I didn't go back. If I ever had any concerns I went to my GP

Original poster

Morph2 · 10/03/2011 20:14

MadameCastafiore> They work Mondays-Thursdays with Friday off. I don't mind going on a Thursday.

OP posts:

chocadoodle · 10/03/2011 20:14

I'm always a bit at why they're called "Health Visitors" when I've not once ever had one visit me.

Every time I've had to see one I've had to visit them (DS now 2). When I queried it I was told as I didn't live in a rough area they don't bother doing any checks Why should where I live make any difference to my son's wellbeing being checked out?

Sorry, rant over. You're not BU, but I don't think you'll be given any other option. So if it's important to you that DC has review then you'll have to swap. You are not obligated to have these reviews if you don't want them or if inconvenient. FWIW I don't remember coming away feeling like it was really worthwhile when DS had his, but it's always good to be given the opportunity to raise any concerns if you have any.

mmsmum · 10/03/2011 20:14

Madame are you saying the HV can work part time but the op can't? I don't get what you are trying to say. If anything 2 HV's should be able to cover more than one day between them!

WincyEtNightietilMayBeOut · 10/03/2011 20:15

YANBU.

Do HVs do these now? With DD it was an 8 month check and done by the GP.

I would tend to agree, say you can't do Tuesday before 4pm and see what she comes up with and/or approach your GP.

I wouldn't want to say they are useless as they presumably can pick up developmental delays etc but to be honest you could probably get a checklist and do this yourself.

I'm even more about a single 9-12month generic review as there is a world of difference between what a 9mo can do vs a 12mo. I suspect there would be a lot of "can baby crawl" "no, never mind see how he/she gets on and come back to us if you are worried" about it.

RitaMorgan · 10/03/2011 20:21

I wouldn't bother with it - go to the GP if you have concerns.

I think you can pick up Bookstart books from your local library too.

ruddynorah · 10/03/2011 20:24

you can get your bookstart books from the library. don't be blackmailed!

eaglewings · 10/03/2011 20:25

Can you go for the check at another clinic that they run?

reallytired · 10/03/2011 20:30

Do you have another relative who could take your lo to clinic?

I think that developmental reviews are a good thing, they can pick up problems which aren't always obvious.

ruddynorah · 10/03/2011 20:30

fwiw ds has not been 'seen' since his 10 day weigh in. he's now 16 months old.

darleneconnor · 10/03/2011 20:33

I havent heard from my hv since dd was 3 months. Shes 3yrs now btw. Skip the review.

aPixieMomma · 10/03/2011 20:39

Bookstart books? What's all that about.

Op, I would just say No, and get them to re-arrange.

Ds1 saw HV twice, once at 3days and again at one week.
Ds2 saw HV once at 8days.

I would just forget about it actually and go to GP if you have any concerns.

susiey · 10/03/2011 20:40

I wouldn't go and as others have said libraries do the bookstart packs.

If you are worried about something then talk to your doctor or book another timt to see the hv.

if I am offered a 9 - 12 month review for mydd3 (age 6 months ) I won't go until 12 months as there is more to 'review' then much better use of my and my hv time.

aPixieMomma · 10/03/2011 20:44

Oh and just thought I'd throw a little rant in here!

Friends ds1. 12-18 month review. Hv comes round and is marking his progress etc. She says, "he's very behind in his speech" my friend replies that is because he's only been able to hear for 4 months. (HV has all his information right in front of her)

HV tells friend to take ds's hearing aids off then proceeds to call the child's name. When child doesn't answer, HV says, "oh he can't hear very well either can he!

Well no, that's why he has the cochlear implant and hearing aids you dimwit!

Sorry, but while we where on the subject of HV.......

WincyEtNightietilMayBeOut · 10/03/2011 20:47

PixieMomma.

My previous HV (for PFB) was great. Haven't seen this one so much (NSC ) but she seems OK if a bit bland and non-committal. But some of the stories on here really make you despair!

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