To not let DP make it up to me?

[shadycharacter]

Yesterday was my birthday, DP was supposed to be taking me out to the cinema...

I went to my mums for a bit whilst waiting for him to get home from work (we live literally 2 mins from each other) I sent several texts to DP asking what time he'd be back, reminding him of film times and asking if he wanted to go out for food before the film. No reply. So I called him and he was home doing something to his car and hadn't realised I'd text. Fine.

I went home, put a bit of make up on and he came up to get changed, asked where we were going for food. I told him it's too late now, we don't have time. So he starts shouting about how he's been at work all day and is starving, slamming wardrobe doors etc. I explained that he'd been home from work for nearly 4 hrs and could have eaten if he was hungry. Cue further shouting about how he thought we were eating out etc etc. I told him he has time to stick some quick freezer food in the oven.

I went to drop something to my mum and came home to him sitting with his head in his hands huffing and puffing, asked what's up, "I'm fucking starving and where's my orange bag" Had no idea what he was talking about so asked him to describe the bag, he started shouting at me like I was some kind of half-wit so I just ignored him, found the bag (I had moved it) and put it next to him, then I said "I don't want to go out any more"

I wasn't being dramatic/attention seeking/a martyr, I just felt he'd totally ruined the atmosphere and he obviously wasn't happy to be going out, who wants to be taken out by someone who doesn't actually WANT to take you out?! He made me feel like such a burden.

So today he's said he's sorry about ruining my birthday (yesterday he was saying it was my fault for deciding not to go) and asked if he could make it up to me and take me out tonight instead.

I don't want to be taken out tonight, I'm tired, hormonal (36 weeks preg) and disappointed and it's not my birthday today. I also don't want to be sending DS off to grandparents two evenings in a row. I feel like he's just trying to ease his guilty conscience, surely if he'd wanted to take me out for my birthday so much, he'd have made the effort yesterday?

Am I just prolonging my sulking and being pathetic about this? Should I just let him try to put things right, even though I'm still really pissed off with him and still upset and disappointed?

YABU - you could still have gone for a meal and skipped the film. You were also U not to call in the first place rather than texting. Actually, all adults who text rather than calling and then moan when things get messed up are automatically U. Texting is for teenage timewasters. If you need a quick reply or need to know the other person has received your message, call them.

but more importantly, WHAT'S IN THE ORANGE BAG?

Don't pick fights for the sake of it. Life's hard enough..........

I think those of us on "The Killing" tv thread will think there is definitely a clue in the orange bag.

Why don't you order a nice takeaway and a dvd for tonight and forget the stupid argument. As someone said, the baby is due any time now and you really don't want an argument to escalate.

Another one waiting for the big reveal about The Orange Bag

I just asked him what he wanted with the orange bag, I'm afraid it's very boring. "My t.shirt" I normally find mine in the wardrobe but there we go!

Wellwisher I didn't care about food, it was the cinema that was pre-arranged, food was an after thought that I didn't get a reply about.

Oh and he doesn't like cake, he's a very strange man. I hadn't been scoffing cake all afternoon I was very busy buying the really interesting baby stuff: cotton wool, nursing bras, breast pads etc.

Lesson learnt (learned?) don't rely on text to communicate and don't sulk for TOO long. I feel much better now, it feels nice to just LET IT GO (eventually).

Sounds like he had a classic irritable response caused by low blood sugar. I get horribly hypoglycaemic and turn into a snappy bugger if I'm not careful.

I don't think there is anything remotely confusing about your story.

He was way out of line in several ways and treated you badly, especially considering you are pregnant and it was your birthday.

Of course you shouldn't have to go out tonight when you don't want to just to make him feel better about being a shit yesterday.

You can accept his apology without having another night sacrificed to his humours.

"he started shouting at me like I was some kind of half-wit"

On that basis alone YANBU.

How old are you both?