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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Number 2s with your baby latched on?

48 replies

capricorn76 · 10/03/2011 04:47

This thread was inspired by last weeks almighty row about having sex whilst breastfeeding. About halfway through I asked another poster if she had ever taken a shit with her baby latched on and to my surprise she said yes. Various others leapt in to say doing a poo whilst feeding their baby was perfectly normal behaviour. I personally found it unhygienic and strange but that's just my opinion, I'm not expecting everyone or even anyone to agree. I wanted to know if it was genuinely normal behaviour as it?s not something people tend to discuss in RL.

Now this is not a BF v FF debate so please don't turn into one (in case anyone?s interested, I bottle feed expressed milk and formula). I was just really surprised to hear what some people do whilst feeding their babies.

I know that some babies are more clingy than others but surely you can detach yourself for 5 mins to go to the loo? What about when you cook? Is your baby still attached to you then? Is that not dangerous?

I have a theory that maybe women who always have their babies attached to them are suffering from some level of PND? At one end PND manifests as the inability to bond with the baby, maybe at the other end it displays itself as an unwillingness to ever let go of the baby? I don't know but I think it maybe the case. I mean the baby isn't going to die because you put it down to go to the loo or cook and maybe the baby has learned to be clingy because you've always got it attached to you? I'm a big believer in not leaving my baby to cry it out but sometimes things need to be done that cannot involve her and if she has to cry for a couple of mins then so be it, I just try to do whatever I'm doing as fast as I can and get back to her. I don't think it will cause any long-term issues.

Anyway, I just wanted to post because as I said before I was genuinely shocked that anyone would do a poo with their baby attached to them. I'm trying not to judge but I just think its weird. AIBU?

OP posts:

mawbroon · 10/03/2011 10:12

Yes, I've done this with ds2.

My choice was usually this:

keep ds2 feeding and calm in the sling while doing it, do my poo and get on with whatever it was I was doing before.

take ds2 out of the sling which would make him cry and attract ds1's attention which would probably end up with ds1 hurting ds2 either intentionally or by accident. Then both of them would end up howling and would both need comforted.

I could/still can feed him completely hands free so there was no need to touch him before washing my hands.

I really don't see what the big fuss is tbh.

Original poster

capricorn76 · 10/03/2011 10:21

@the CrackFox, was the 'insane' comment directed at me? If so, that was a bit uneccessary especially as there have been times in the last couple of months where I thought I could be but I now know that I'm defo not, that's one of the reasons why I'm so greatful for counselling. It wasn't a crazy question.

I guess maybe I was a bit too judgemental and that there maybe circumstances where you have little choice. Nevertheless I think its something I'd avoid doing. If I'm going out with DD in a sling, it's usually to a friends place so they watch her when I go to the loo. Once when I was at the doctors I gave DD to the receptionist to look after while I went. I'm also pretty good at holding it till I get home, then I put her in her basket whilst I do what I need to do. I'd find it hard to feed her and poo at the same time but I guess not everyone feels that way and I accept that.

OP posts:

SardineQueen · 10/03/2011 10:34

NO I didn't go for a crap. I also find it a bit grim and also don't think I could have managed it with the wiping and handwashing and all, I don't think I could even have got my trousers down while BF.

So that's a no from a practical POV and a general yuck, but I wouldn't get over excited about anyone else doing it. Up to them innit.

I am a bit but also at the idea that it's fine to BF a baby in your own bog when you're doing your own crap, but that BF a baby in a public toilet (assuming a reasonably clean one) is somehow completely different.

buttonmooncup · 10/03/2011 10:53

I don't understand - unless you carry your kids around all day (which I know some people do) can't you hold a crap til they're sleeping or something?

GabySolis · 10/03/2011 10:57

Bf while doing a poo? That is absolutely fucking RANK, can't believe people actually do that. Would you eat your dinner sat on someone's knee when they did a shit? No? Well then why should your baby? There are some scratty mingers for mumsout there, if this is a serious thread and not a troll on a wind up! URGH.

MooMooFarm · 10/03/2011 11:07

No YANBU - I think it's no more acceptable for a baby to have it's meal in the loo than for anybody else. And I didn't see the thread about having sex whilst BFing, but I think that's pretty grim too

MooMooFarm · 10/03/2011 11:08

And PS how do you wipe whilst BFing? How is that not unhygenic? And what about the pooey smells? Urgh!

GwendolineMaryLacey · 10/03/2011 11:12

I didn't bf but I've had a wee with DD in the sling, never a crap. I just felt that was too unhygienic and would say the same about bf while crapping.

However, as soon as she got interested in toilets, DD would follow me and wedge herself round the back of the loo to see what was happening anyway so maybe I shouldn't have been so precious :o

VajazzHands · 10/03/2011 11:24

I don't understand - unless you carry your kids around all day (which I know some people do) can't you hold a crap til they're sleeping or something?

I avoid public loos at all costs unless I am about to explode. My toilet however is a haven of cleanliness most of the time

I have done it because I have IBS btw. Baby is removed from the boob and placed in left hand for wiping and then akward hand washing commences.

Obviously avoid it if I can so I can have some peace but sometimes you just got to get on with life.

VajazzHands · 10/03/2011 11:25

meant to highlight this

I am a bit confused but also grin at the idea that it's fine to BF a baby in your own bog when you're doing your own crap, but that BF a baby in a public toilet (assuming a reasonably clean one) is somehow completely different.

I am losing it today..

MooMooFarm · 10/03/2011 11:26

But Vajazz if you can remove baby from the boob for wiping/washing hands, why can't you remove baby for the poo?

bonkers20 · 10/03/2011 11:34

I've done a wee with a baby in a sling, mainly because I can't be arsed to remove it for a quick wee.

However, I like to plop in peace and don't think I've ever had the baby attached to me at the time.

I've certainly never been feeding my baby while going to the loo. I'd prefer not to mix the two activities really.

I've never been so desperate to do either that I can't organise the baby to be doing something else while I go to the loo.

InPraiseOfBacchus · 10/03/2011 12:40

It's not about hygiene or cleanliness. It's about carrying yourself with dignity.

Breastfeeding on the toiled, while having sex, or in a very obvious public place [a bench in a busy street as opposed to a quiet park seat or discreetly in a cafe] is not "dirty" or "rude" or "morally wrong". It's simply undignified.

InPraiseOfBacchus · 10/03/2011 12:41

Obviously, desperation comes before dignity however!

Morloth · 10/03/2011 12:46

Hah I once BFd walking along a busy road whilst pushing the buggy with the other hand. Nothing undignified about BFIng anywhere, but as I said 'No eating in toilets' is the rule for one and all at our house. I wouldn't rat while taking a crap so I wouldn't expect my baby too.

MooMooFarm · 10/03/2011 12:59

I have no problem with anybody BFing in public places, I have done it myself and don't think it's undignified at all (unless you flop both out at once and run round shouting 'look at these!').

It's just the issue of hygiene for me; that and how much I would enjoy my lunch if I had to eat it whilst hovering over somebody's fresh turd.

lizzie1180 · 10/03/2011 13:06

How often does the baby poo while feeding? Is there a difference?

MooMooFarm · 10/03/2011 13:39

Yes - the difference is the baby can't help it! Can't actually believe anybody is arguing the case for pooing whilst feeding a baby .

MadameDefarge · 10/03/2011 13:43

Most home toilets are cleaner than most kitchens.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 10/03/2011 13:51

I can't remember how I responded to your question on that thread. I don't think I had a pooh whilst bf-ing, but I probably had a quick wee.

DS was very clingy - I obliged. Having calmed him down, putting him down to go to the loo would have taken us back to square one.

FWIW he is now 10yo and far too independent for my liking. And I certainly didn't have PND.

Basically, needs must. It's a bit yuck I agree, but I doubt it's something someone would do day in, day out until their baby was weaned.

ashamedandconfused · 10/03/2011 13:52

I BF my 3 DC for a total of 6-7 years between them - and never ever had to resort to feeding while having a poo

yes i have had the buggy in the loo cubicle with me, or kids in the loo at home - but not bringing food in with them

MooMooFarm · 10/03/2011 14:16

Well you know ashamed I was biting my tongue to stop myself saying 'I BF my 3 DC and never needed to poo whilst feeding them...'. But now I'm saying it. Will hoist my judgy bosom off the table now

PenguinArmy · 11/03/2011 04:13

OP I have to say that PND link seems rather wacky to me, I had no problems with that and am not a clingy mother.

How do people wipe: As I said DD was a quick feeder, I'd just sit there until she done (or holler DH to take her when she done). Then lay her down, wipe, wash hands etc. Only a handful of times in the early would she feed for 20 mins or more. Drove me crazy with worry hearing about these babies are fed for an hour or more.

Can't you hold a crap: No, I can hold wee for hours but not for no 2s. If I try I get cramps, shakes and fever.

To the person that said 'that's fucking rank' I find that undignified and insulting.

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