To feel livid that we can't even have ONE night away?

[SeeJaneKick]

DH and I have 2 DC who are 3 and 6...we don't earn loads but should be able to afford to go to London for ONE night for a dear friends 40th Birthday.

I don't want to go alone....I want to go with DH. It's ags since I met a lot of the people there...they are all still living the "cool" London life and I feel a bit insecure (fatter, suburban, WAHM)

SO. We COULD afford a hotel and have a nice night but my Mum has never had myDC overnight once and if I ask her she'll panic.

She'll not want to do it.

I looked at the Athenaeum to see if maybe 2 nights there for all 4 of us would be affordable and it would but not if I count the Nanny fees in. Also we've never left the DDC with strangers and I think Id worry.

I want to ask Mum...who is a reasonably fit 664 years old...she works part time and is fit enough to go on long rambles etc.

BUT I fear she'll be annoyed if I ask...I can't leave the DC with any other elatve...all DHs family are abroad.

Other option is my niece who is a Nursery Nurse...I could ask her....she babysits professionaly and is lovely. But I feel awkward about what to pay...I asked once and she said usually about 5 or 6 pounds an hour depending on the client.

What do I offer her for babysitting from bedtime on the Saturday to late afternoon on the Sunday? She would be travelling about 15 miles to get here if I asked.

SO...do I ask her or AIBU to ask Mum when I know she wont want to do it but the DC would be happeir with her?

Lol. Mum isn't 664 years old! She's 64.

664 year old? sorry

Right, ask your mum. She will say no if she doesn't want to do it.

Your niece is your other option. Ask her to do it and settle a sum with her.

How do you KNOW your mum won't want to do it? Is it a hunch or a definite?

I guess the only way to find out is to ask your mum.

Could you ask your mum to do the overnights but pay your neice to entertain them during the day to take the pressure off her?

Ask your mum, the worst she can say is no, even though shes's 664

Sorry that made me laugh!

Why would she be annoyed if you ask?

I agree with Al1son ask your mum to look after them but pay your niece to help out.

yes was just going to say could they share somehow

Definitely ask. Or... could your mum come to London too and stay in the hotel with the kids. That way, she wouldn't have to be solely responsible for them the whole time you're away, just while you're at the wedding. Just a thought?

ask your mum (if you don't even if she would say no she may be peeved at not being asked...sometimes lose lose situation) then if she says no ask niece give her fixed sum based on £6 per hour. DCs will be fine either way.

cinderella to the ball must go!

Mum is great at visiting but she's so NOT hands on. If one of them kicks off she'll not know what to do.

I suppose I could get the older one to have a sleepover at her cousins and then Mum would only have the littly...but it's such a lot of buggering about!

I just feel shit.

I've only recent;y WANTED to go out and it's impossible to GET out!

Just ask her. she can only give one of two answers! I like Al1son's idea about your niece having them in the day to take the pressure off her.

Offer niece £100 and a fridge full of yummy food?

Say to your Mum, "I was thinking of asking [niece] to take the children overnight as we fancy a night in London, but wanted to check you would not be offended that we did not ask you".

Ball is in her court, and if she says, "Good idea", then you have your answer.

She might say, "Oh, don't be daft, I will have them".

I would ask the niece - she sounds perfect and at 3 and 6 they should be OK. Just ask her what she'd charge. If you work it out, it's nearly 24 hours so getting on for £100, but some of that she'd be asleep (you'd hope!), so she might charge less.

Don't worry about your mum - let it go. We are one of those families who manage without any family help and DP and I have never been away on our own together (DC are 5 and 1). Actually certain family members probably would do it but they don't know my DC that well and aren't competent. We're just used to it - yes sometimes it's hard, but eventually you find solutions, DC start having sleepovers - a friend had DS overnight when we went to hospital for DD's birth.

I hope you can go. Oh and IME, those London sceners can turn out to have put on a lot of weight themselves! :)

I could ask Mum to come actually....not a bad idea....she'd probably do that as she likes London.

AND we could get a cheaper hotel if we bring a built in babysitter.

Yes....fandango that would be ok too I think...I'm just realising that Ive been somewhere a bit crap fr a couple of years...not wanting to go out was odd.

SO I've not built up a support networkk of mates who I can fall back on.

Marie...£100 doesn't seem too bad for peace of mind. Niece is very good with kids...and only 21 so energtic!

Let's hope the London hipsters are all lardy too!

You can go. Ask you neice to have them in the day and your mum look after them at night?

You can work something out, don't be defeatist :)

I can;t really ask Niece to have them in the day...she lives 15 miles away...so couldn't come back again in the morning....I suppose she could have them on the Saturday and then Mum would have to cope on the Sunday

{evil]

Either way I am bloody going...WE are. I'll get the binking neighbours in on it if I have to.

If you ask your mum to go to London with you make sure she is fully aware that she is looking after the children so she doesn't get the hump when you go out in the evening.

Oh yes...I would say that from the start,I think if we pay for her travel and hotel then she would be fine with it.