To want people to let dd be dd!

[SnoozyLucy]

This is half AIBU and half rant , have just reached the end of my tether. Been through a few months of school referring dd to TWO paediatricians as well as badgering me with increasing regularity, and now have just had my dsis (who has a sum total of no kids) giving me an hour long session of 'advice' too. Why? Because dd (7) is little and skinny, can't stand p.e. and is a little (tiny bit) immature for her age, that's IT!

Just in case it seems like I'm doing the rose-tinted PFB, dd has been seen by the gp several times who agrees she's skinny but says she's within normal limits and he has no concerns, and thinks the dislike of pe and love of being babied by the other children is perfectly normal. She doesn't have any behavioural difficulties at school, reads/writes/does maths etc above her age, just has cottoned on that if some older kids will fuss over her because she's little then that's a nice thing. Due to the referrals going awol we've only seen one paed who made a lot of cats bum faces but couldn't actually tell me what concerns she had, yet referred us to another paed anyway who we have yet to see.

As far as I can see it all stems from not liking to do pe (dd has said repeatedly it's boring and she can't see the point) and being naturally skinny (I was until damnable puberty latched me onto chocolate), in a class of mainly 'robust' sport freaks (that type of primary). Am I being unreasonable to not see what the fuss is about? And without resorting to asking WTF, how do I get it across to teachers/etc that I really don't get why dd not being an athlete is A Bad Thing?

When my DS was a tiny baby the HV had a go at me that he was too short and his head was too small. FFS!!!!!!!! 8 years later he is still short and still very light although his head looks fine to me, lol.....people call him the Midget which really pisses him off, I tell him beautiful things come in small packages.

Your DD is fine, tell your sister to go and boil her head, lol

YANBU

Lol, I really should - think I'm putting up with far more from her than I should atm because she's emotionally/mentally very 'fragile' right now, which I happily roll my eyes at in private but feel like I have to bite my tongue and let her feel useful otherwise she goes and has a meltdown to our parents who are elderly and I'd rather she didn't. But yes, am being U to keep putting up with her narcissm, should put a stop to that.

YANBU if your DD is happy, healthy and doing well at school she is fine. As the skinny mother of 2 skinny daughters who all hate PE, you have nothing to worry about. Would the teacher make such a fuss if your daughter was not good at art or music?

Thanks Desperate - because dd was a skinny baby too the HV kept telling me authoritatively "oooh, she'll be tall later, she will, she'll be tall". Now she's about the 3rd shortest in her class, I should have kept the HV's name to advise her never to be a clairvoyant.

That's the thing sue, very much doubt they would - they encourage the kids to be good at everything with class points/certificates for trying etc but they seem very slow to kick up a fuss if one slips down academically. But woe betide you if you don't want to run around the field or would rather not climb four pointless feet up a climbing frame. Just not sure how to get that message across if they can't see it already.

Snoozy, poor you. It's bad enough for you to put up with a sport crazed teacher but your sister is overstepping the mark with her interference. Would it be better in her opinion to have a chubby child who likes games? I don't think I could have listened to an hours lecture no matter how emotionally fragile my sister. Sounds like the teacher is a bit sport obsessed will it get better next year when your DD has a new teacher?