I had a horrendus pregnancy with my one and only child, who is now 3.
I had severe spd, gestational diabetes and was hospitalised prior and up to the delivery.
I had a section, which was the only pleasant experience of pregnancy tbh.
I then developed postnatal psychosis, which was terrifying.
I never want to risk that one thing alone happening again.
I had depression on and off, and the spd has never completely gone away, and i still have to spend days in bed because of the pain every few months.
I would love to have another baby, but now have come to the conclusion that i do not want to ever get pregnant again.
Me and DH have discussed gestational surrogacy, and it is something that, in the future we would seriously consider.
I stupidly told my mother, in response to a question, about what we want, and think we will do, ie the above.
Well, won't be making that mistake again, i was basically told i was selfish, and i wouldn't be considered a the true mother of a baby concieved this way, i won't have a bond, and people with think less of me.
My mother doesn't live anywhere close to me, so she didn't get to see how dibilitating my pregnancy was, i tried to explain, and she just laughed and told me how pathetic i was being, "you've only got the one, try having 5 of you and a bad back, maybe if you can't handle being a parent you should just stick with one, im sure DH won't mind."
Now im just not sure, maybe DC would be better of being an only, but i don't want that, is that selfish?
AIBU to choose surrogacy for the above reasons? am i just weak and pathetic?