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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to rent a house for my placement year

16 replies

bananasinpjamas · 09/03/2011 13:15

AIBU

To want to rent a house for my placement year?

Have name changed as aware the person I am talking about probably uses these boards.

Thought this would be a good place to ask!

I am 20, in my second year at Uni and recently had an interview for a placement year which seems to of gone really well- hopefully I will find out by next week whether I have been successful (If it has, I have effectively created my own job!).

The next thing I need to consider if my interview goes to plan is accommodation for the year. At the moment I live in halls on paper, but realistically spend 95% of my time at my BFs house (and have been since September, and have been living together successfully without any problems)

My mum seems to be very set on me not renting and having me stay at home at least 3 days a week and any time I try and deviate from this she points out that I would save money on accommodation- and acts like I'm being stupid to be considering renting a house with my bf (of nearly a year who she loves and trusts- this isn't the issue) and 2/3 other friends for the year, on a full time salary (probs about 12,000)plus DLA, so it isn't like I would be frittering away a student loan or anything like that, or even having to take out an accommodation loan for that year, therefore saving money in the long run.

She will try to present stuff as a choice, but it isn't really a choice because she will go "Its up to you" and then we will go round in circles discussing it all over again until I pick her preferred option.

My dad is very much in agreement with me- from my point of view, it just seems like the next natural step to independence, if it doesn't work out I have a guaranteed place in halls for my third/forth year due to my conditions if worst comes to the worst.

It just seems that if I don't take this jump now to live alone as a young adult and get some experience of organizing bills/rent/etc then I'm going to be living at home for ages after I graduate, and as much as I love my parents to bits, and they miss me, I've got to learn how to do this sooner or later!

My bf who is 22 is now feeling quite frustrated that my mum seems to be holding in the reins too tightly, and he has even talked about it with his mum who agrees she is being overbearing (I stayed with them over the summer so she knows me extremely well!).

I appreciate my mum has had to fight left right and centre for help when I was younger, but wish she would help support me in taking this next step.

I realise the mums will always have an invisible umbilical cord but wish mine would stretch a bit longer!

Or am I making a really stupid decision that I am going to regret?

OP posts:
bananasinpjamas · 09/03/2011 13:20

Bumpy

OP posts:
compo · 09/03/2011 13:20

Yanbu
do what you want to do

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 09/03/2011 13:24

YANBU Stop discussing it with your mum, find a place to rent and present it to her as a fait accompli.

bananasinpjamas · 09/03/2011 13:47

Thanks guys, any other tips :)

OP posts:
LittleMissHissyFit · 09/03/2011 13:56

I flew to Sao Paulo for 2yrs aged 20....

Obviously make sure you can afford it, make sure you get a proper inventory done, take pictures yourself with dates stamped too, make sure your deposit is placed in a scheme and discuss with housemates about what will happen if one needs to move out. I.e, they have to find someone to take their place.

Do it. Time to spread your wings love!

Good luck!

bananasinpjamas · 09/03/2011 13:58

Thanks very much :) I will not sign any contracts until I know I can completely trust our housemates on this ones!

OP posts:
LaWeasel · 09/03/2011 13:58

It's your money, your job, your choice.

If you think your mother has a say in this you need to move now!

bananasinpjamas · 09/03/2011 14:05

Thanks, thinking of showing her this thread actually.

OP posts:
bananasinpjamas · 09/03/2011 14:23

Bumpy

OP posts:
LaWeasel · 09/03/2011 14:25

From everything you have said you sound like you have thought about it - it's very normal for students to live away from their parents (most do) and if you've got a bunch of friends who you'd be happy to live with go for it.

One housemate will end up being a PITA because that is the housemate law, but otherwise it's great fun and an excellent lesson. No good graduating and having no idea how to pick an energy company or split bills...

One thing I found really useful last time I did this was a housekeep fund. Everyone pits in a fiver cash to start leave it with your most trustworthy housemate, and if anyone buys cleaning stuff or loo roll they can claim the money back from the kitty with their receipt.

bananasinpjamas · 09/03/2011 14:28

The housekeep fund sounds like a good idea :)

OP posts:
bananasinpjamas · 09/03/2011 14:32

Bumpy

OP posts:
curlymama · 09/03/2011 15:06

You are 20, it's your choice, not your Mum's.

I moved out of home when I was 17 and coped fine. It sounds like you may have additional concerns with a disability, but if you think you can cope, then you probably can. I suspect your bf is also getting frustrated that his 20yo GF is still doing what her Mum tells her to do. You need to make the break, your relationship with your Mum will still be as special even if you no longer live at home.

bananasinpjamas · 09/03/2011 15:14

Thanks guys. For those who are interested I have severe dyspraxia (namely causes short term memory, co-ordination, organization, and sensory overload issues, but my bf is very aware of this and completely gets it if anything gets too much and has been very good at helping me develop coping strategy's . ) I also have mild ataxic CP that basically makes me medically drunk 24/7!

OP posts:
bananasinpjamas · 09/03/2011 16:28

Bumpy

OP posts:
lalamom · 09/03/2011 21:00

Stay at home and save the rent money- it is only a year.

My opinion.

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