AIBI in thinking that even in jest, making comments about weight at work is not on?

[onlion]

I am overweight. I am also on a weight loss plan but there has been no obvious results yet as its only been 2 weeks. On the exercise bike, cut out all the snacks. Feeling positive.

I was caught up in meetings at work until 3 pm and had nothing since breakfast. I was talking to a colleague who shares an office with my work mate and mentioned I was starving as Id had no lunch and was just off to get my sandwich. The work colleague sniggered and sneered "yeah, cos it looks like you're wasting away". I looked at my friend and she laughed .
I made light of it and just said "well, Im working on it, maybe in a month or two I'll show some results" and made my way out of their office.

I was really upset. AIBU in thinking this is unacceptable , even as a "joke". Im sick of being a target of fun at work.

heylottie

It's just such a dumb idea. One of the most distressing situations I have ever seen at work was at a previous job where a woman had stomach cancer. The office joker, who had been on sabbatical, breezed back in one day and said, 'Hello, you've lost weight!'

Cue stunned silence....

It is just never, ever a good idea to comment on someone's weight. It's not very clever, but personally the only effective comeback I have ever found is to look shocked and say, 'What?!'

imo if you treat it as a joke, it becomes a legitimate subject for joking, iyswim, whereas outright disbelief might make them think twice.

No lyingwitch he was a colleague who shares his office with my friend

say to him i might be fat but you are ugly, and I can lose weight

and flounce off

lol

Sorry onlion... Just tell him to keep his jokes to himself in future and that you'll take it further if he says anything else like this to you again.

He's a wanker who wants bringing down a peg. Tackle him in front of others...or put in a complaint.

YADNBU. Why are some people so mean? I would have a word with your "friend " and say that in a poll of ( up to now) 30 fine minded intellectuals , all agreed it was out of order, some thought it was worthy of an official complaint, and nobody thought it was at all funny.

You sound very positive depite the nasty jibe; come over to the Weightwatchers thread.. everyone v supportive and friendly, and some amazing weight losses to inspire when the going gets tough.

Thanks

It did upset me enough to eat the remains of my ds' pancake but Im back on the wsgon

That is not acceptable you would in within your rights to report him.

YANBU.

I had a male colleague tell me that "I'd lost some weight and it looked good" - I suppose he thought he was being complimentary. I was deeply offended (my appearance has nothing to do with work!) but not prepared to take out an official complaint as that seemed petty, so I took him to one side and told him that it was "highly inappropriate to pass comment on the shape and looks of any woman in the office".

He now scuttles away when he sees me!

That was not a joke. That was spiteful.

In future, try to come back with something

"Why did you choose to say that?"

"That was uncalled for, don't you think?"

"I find that quite unprofessional of you."

etc

and when he comes back with "it was a joke, god, have you no sense of humour" - as people like that do when challenged, you say "A joke is where everyone is laughing together. Not where you are laughing at my expense."

I've a colleague who will make really catty remarks in the guise of "banter". The problem is if something v outrageous is said, it's difficult to do much other than gape at her! The only thing that works for me is to be READY to come back with some sort of "how is that appropraite at work" type of comment: being ready to say it means you're way more likely to do so.