My DP and I often have people over, open-house style, for Pancake Night. Last year I invited a newish friend who hadn't been to one before. She emailed back to say was it OK if she brought some pancake mix as she wasn't keen on 'slimy English-style' ones and much preferred the thick American kind. She also asked if it was OK to bring bacon and maple syrup or was that 'too untraditional' for me and DP. I had already said in the invite that people should bring whatever fillings they wanted, and had mentioned that there was usually some bacon and a bottle of maple syrup hanging around the house. I wanted to respond 'If you think you'll hate my pancakes so much, why are you bothering to come?' and 'I don't know why you think I'd find bacon and maple syrup "too untraditional"', but instead I walked away from my computer, took a break and some deep breaths, and replied later along the lines of 'Of course you can bring and make whatever you want'.
But when I thought about this year's Pancake Night I realised I really don't want to invite her. But she's friends with quite a few of my other friends and likely to meet up with them again, so having Pancake Night and not inviting her would be impolitic to say the least. I decided the path of least resistance was the easiest way to go and am just not having it this year, despite DP having asked a couple of weeks ago if we were (I replied dismissively).
I realise this might sound really petty. But in my book, if someone invites you over and is going to cook for you, you bloody well eat whatever it is and say thank you. End of. I've been to loads of people's houses over the years (including this friend's) for food and eaten things when there are other things I would have 'much preferred', and have smiled, complimented, said thank you and helped wash up. Isn't that just how you behave?