to think that starting a new relationship does not make me a neglectful parent?

[LifeIsButtercream]

My ex is at it again......

Background, I'm a single parent to a 22m old DD, have been so since she was 4m old.

By some small miracle I've found a new partner (something that I never thought would happen!) and we are getting on very well, albeit taking things very slowly - our 'dates' so far have been daytime, child-friendly things with DD there. I'm not subjecting my DD to watching us doing anything more physical than holding hands.

Ex-H, however, has come to the decision that, as I am finding time to see another person then I am definately neglecting DD as I should 'be focussing on her'...... and it is 'unfair and practically abuse' to bring another person into her life.

In case he is concerned that DD will 'have another dad' I've reassured him that he (ex) is her father and I'm not looking to replace him in that role, to which he replied that should he start a new relationship, he would be encouraging DD to call his new partner 'mummy' when DD was with them on visits etc, as this would be 'less complicated and less confusing, so better for DD. And she'd probably be a better mum anyway'.........

I've never dated as a single parent before, so this is un-trodden ground for me, and I know ex can say some ridiculous things, but I'm seeking reassurance - by starting a new relationship that does not make me a neglectful parent - does it?

Not at all. It sounds like you are being sensible and cautious and that Ex-H is being a jealous shitclown.

I've not been in your situation, but he's quite obviously talking crap and deliberately trying to be hurtful. You having a new man in your life (so long as you are doing it in a sensible way, which you clearly are) will not be any harm to your daughter.

Him getting her to call his potential new partner "mummy" would be massively confusing and harmful. But he knows that - he's just yanking your chain.

no it dousnt, but it will be hard.

your ex is a knob for suggesting as much

difficultie is of course you will want to spend lots of time with your new partner and when you have children thats hard to do without one or the other suffering.

i dont have much advice, sorry

Sorry, your ex sounds like a complete tosser :(

Can't believe he would encourage your daughter to call his new partner 'mummy' that's so out of order.

Tell him the only danger comes from not knowing to get rid of a man when he turns out to be a knob- and you obviously have no trouble in that department.

Thanks all, I'm being really careful to make sure that I'm not just spending all my time with new partner, he does not live very locally so we only get together a couple of times and month and the rest of the time I'm with DD.

New partner has a job that requires a very high level of CRB check so I'm confident that he is 'safe' as it were, but I'm very protective over DD and always do my best to keep her interests uppermost.