to think its unfair of my sil to send an anonymous Valentine

[bluebellewood]

In our first year of marriage my sil sent an anonymous valentine to my dh (her brother). Fortunately she did not do a good job of disguising her hand writing. We are always helping her out with money, time etc. Why would she do such a strange thing?

Very odd. I've no idea.

What a wierdo...is she jealous of your relationship?? Would she want to cause you grief?? Very odd I have to say.

My family have always sent each other not very anonymous cards on Valentine's Day.

Is this something your SIL had been in the habit of doing with her brother before you married, and simply hadn't twigged that it might no longer be appropriate?

The fact that you saw through it instantly suggests she didn't put much effort into hiding her identity - so it's probably a joke rather than a deliberate attempt to stir.

My DH still gets one from his mother.

Perhaps because she knows he won't get one off me. Don't believe in Valentine's Day.

She has never sent him one before. They are not very close.I thought that she and I were friends though.Now I am starting to wonder.

That is really very strange. I could have understood if it was an ongoing joke, but to suddenly send one when he is newly married is very weird! Did it look like she had made an effort to be anonymous?

Weird,unless some kind of family in joke thing.Ask him?

Yes she had tried, her writing was well disguised on the card but not on the envelope.I thought that was odd too.

Have you called her on it?

Might be worth saying something along the lines of 'my, how DH and I laughed' and 'good job we trust each other and share things, otherwise your little joke could have lead to a misunderstanding ha ha ha'.

Better still as DH to speak to her.

ask DH... not as DH .

He is as mystified as I am, they are not a jokey family.As he is not close to her he feels he does not want to dicuss it with her. We have just ignored it.

Well, if neither of you are close enough to speak to her about the card, perhaps you should back off helping out with money etc. Sounds like a recipe for mixed messages.

I don't believe that somebody would do that! Are there other issues here? It seems so mean!

She probably didn't send it.

Two of my friends have almost identical handwriting and oddly enough my MILs handwriting is very similar to my Dad's.

It could have been anyone surely? Before you make up your mind it's her, I'd really ask her first.

If they're not a jokey family and you get on with her, it doesn't sound very likely to me.

DH could REALLY wind her up. Tell her in confidence that there is someone at work he fancies who sent him a card, he thinks. See what the strange woman does...

Although he did not discuss it with her DH did ask her did she send it. She said yes, and he left it at that.

If my SIL did that to us it would be to a) piss me off and b) wind me up. If you get on with her sure it's perhaps just her strange sense of humour!

OP is it related to your giving her money etc? I mean, maybe for her it was a jokey-friendly gesture to recognise his help for her recently? And if they are not a jokey family it backfired a bit?

It is hard to judge: my sisters and I share some very surreal jokes that other people would just not get....

In fact, thanks for reminding me, my ILs are coming tomorrow and I better take down the bizarre hand-drawn Xmas cards from my sisters...

Honestly, I find it a trifle odd that people are even suggesting jealousy as an appropriate response to a sibling interaction