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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to self sabotage

12 replies

GlitterHo · 08/03/2011 11:19

I 'm overweight and trying to loose weight for a long time, I've namechanged

Thing is I'll do okay and then i'll have a rough day and a downward spiral begins and I can't get back on the horse, 'oh I'll have one I feel like crap'

and then hit with this huge wave of guilt and shame and depression cause is this way its always gonna be and never get thin.
I used to put it down to lack of will power but its more than that, its like my brain is looking for the first excuse to give up, arrggh this sounds like a mid fuck so I apologise.

anyone experienced this? I don't know where to turn I'm scared people will think im mad

OP posts:

justcarrots29 · 08/03/2011 11:22

I do the same and have posted in the past about it. Very very hard to over come but I will have to as my clothes barely fit and I am living in leggings. Sometimes you just have to try to go through the 'wall' so to speak and then you will drop some pounds.

Other than that it will mean that you will have to accept who you are as you are - do you have a lot to lose? I have 1.5 stone left out of 4 stone but I cannot get back on the horse.

Hammy02 · 08/03/2011 11:27

I completely empathise with you. I am fine until about 4pm and then it's as if something takes over me and I can't resist eating/drinking something fattening. This has been going on for years. I wake up full of resolve then its out of the window in the evening. I also live in leggings and hate being like this. Arghhh!

kenobi · 08/03/2011 11:29

Of course everyone feels like this - if we didn't we'd all have bodies like Giselle, you banana! [said with big hug].

It's not just about self control, it's also about what food (or drugs or alcohol or in my case cigarettes or anything really) 'does' for you emotionally.
You are abusing food, not just eating it to enjoy it or because you have no will, and if that's the case you need to not just diet but get to the root of your ishoos with food. I'm sure other people can make suggestions of how to tackle this, it's not my area of expertise but I know ALL about self sabotage!

In the short term I also think self-affirmation is hugely important in these situations - when you get that wave of self-hate and decide to sabotage yourself, you need to say to yourself, 'I am fantastic, I am fabulous, I deserve to lose weight. " Yes I know it's cringey but you have to fight the negative with positive, you have to take yourself out of that spiral and force yourself down another path.

Original poster

GlitterHo · 08/03/2011 15:31

Thankyou Kenobi, and all other posters

I've set myself a challenge for the week not to sabotage myself, so as it feels like small acomplishments rather than OMG dieting forever. It may help

OP posts:

Desperateforthinnerthighs · 08/03/2011 15:34

I am the same!!! I am forever on a diet and can be good for so long but then if I blow it I think fuck it and really go hell for leather.

I am trying to look at the way I deal with food now - it is unrealistic never to be able to have a treat again and so now if I break it I break it and then just get back on the wagon and start again.

I am an exercise freak so at least that is helping!!

Desperateforthinnerthighs · 08/03/2011 15:35

Oh yeah, and I have given up as well!

BettyCash · 08/03/2011 15:38

GlitterHo YANBU - but you need to be objective about what breaks your resolve if you want to stop hating yourself after a binge.

Afternoons? Weekends? Drinks? Cooked breakfast?

JuicyOlive · 08/03/2011 15:41

OP I know how you feel but kenobi and others speak a lot of sense.

There are a whole load of us on the Paul McKenna thread who have stopped denying ourselves and just following a few simple rules to eat like a thin person and stop bingeing and sabotaging.

The programme is helping a lot of us deal with emotional eating and break out of the diet/binge cycle. At the same time there's lots of positivity about ourselves. Free free to come and join us.

YouCantTeuchThis · 08/03/2011 15:47

After years of 'trying' to diet, I had a bit of a revelation a few weeks back. I was thinking "ugh, I am bigger than ever before. I have to diet, I will be miserable" then I realised that it was the sitting on the couch stuffing my face that was making me miserable.

I literally haven't eaten a biscuit or chocolate for nearly 3 weeks. The first 4-5 days were hard, the cravings were all-consuming. But by day 6 my appetite had changed slightly and the cravings were pretty much gone.

I have been shredding and walking and it makes me feel good to do something for me. Like I deserve it.

I have at least 3 stone to lose, but I am starting with 2. I have lost around 8lbs since starting, although I feel an enormous difference in my fitness. I know from experience that the next few pounds make the clothes looser and that motivates me too.

It has worked for me not to have that 'one little treat' and the confidence that has come from that is great. Every day I feel better about it.

Desperateforthinnerthighs · 08/03/2011 15:50

Shredding is suppose to be great and I have discovered the love of spinning....I am addicted...I love love love it . Another love of mine is pole fitness...talk about addictive! I have a pole up in my dining room so I can spin in the morning and pole at night! Perfic!

Original poster

GlitterHo · 08/03/2011 15:50

thankyou , I need to get too the emotional root becasue without i fear it will just be a vicious circle

I am really fat so I need to loose alot, so it makes the self hate more when I let myself down.

OP posts:

whomovedmychocolate · 08/03/2011 16:05

I see juicyolive has already invited you to come to the dark side

Look here's my take on it - your brain thinks that change is scary. You don't like scary so you fall back into patterns of thinking and behaving. So you are stuck. You need to shift your thinking (a lot) and finding a way to do that you are comfortable with is actually quite easy once you get the right tools under your belt.

Come and take a look at what we are doing on the other thread. If it's not for you - well hey at least that's another thing you can tick off your list. But if you do, well it just might change your life. :)

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