OK, so how do I know who to speak too?

[KnittedBreast]

I dont really know how much to say on here, its not really my business to give details.

I have a very close friend who is at absolute breaking point, shes a mess. She hardly weighs anything, never eats, shes always tired, she just starts crying randomly. the other day she went to the toilet and was gone ages, i went and opened to the toilet door and she was just staring at her reflection crying. she has children, but she dousnt enjoy them everythings too much effort.

I dont know how to help her, sometimes she barely speaks and i have to just turn up at her house and knock until she opens the door. shes very close to her children and she looks after them very well, they are always cuddleing and shes always praising them. But shes a ghost of the person she used to be, she seems deeply unhappy, I dont know what to do. its like shes not there, she just exists. its heart breaking and no way to live... I just dont know what to do for her

OMG OP poor woman sounds like she's been through hell and is still in there :(
Well done that's exactly what I was going to suggest, if you really want to help then try to go through the formalities with her and get her a GP and an appointment
You can also accompany her and make sure the doctor gets to hear all the simptoms properly (as someone said above, it's common for people with depression to deny their simptoms)
I'm a bit worried about the effects previous anti-depressants had on your friend. It's very important that the GP hears all that and gets as many details as possible, ideally you would want your friend referred to a specialist really (I know, one step at a time but the last thing you want is to have the wrong treatment for your friend...)
And a charity sounds like a brilliant idea, definitely!
Hope this helps, well done for being such a good friend, and good luck

The information isn't used against you, its used to protect parents and children of harm. It sometimes forces people to get help who would otherwise live in misery or go off and kill themselves. Mind will have good advice for your local area.

I was trying to prepare you of what would happen if you went to the school and she had a knock on the door whilst she was in on her own. Which is not what anyone would want. Her partner needs to be on board as he is her next of kin and she needs to put him on the gp form as that. Otherwise her next of kin by law is her mother and if she was ever admitted to hospital, would be contacted. Im sure that she will be put on the road to recovery with the right support. She needs a whole plan put in place, including possible support groups etc.

perhaps shes just going through a bad patch,and siply need time to get over it, sounds liek shes looking after the kids ok and they are well loved

i'd tell her your concered about her, and tell her your there for her if she want to talk, but i wouldn't do to the drs about her, unless you feel the childrena re in danger which doesnt sound liek the case

i dont think they are at risk at all. she kills herself making sure they have the best of everything, i just want her back. i want them to really have their mother back, not a shrinking shell

carriedababi-no one doubts that she doesn't love her children. But from what has been described and her background, this isn't a bad patch. The children will be affected and the friend has a right to enjoy life, you wouldn't leave a friend crippled lying in bed with a physical illness and not get a doctor to her someway, mental illness should be viewed in the same way. If we were all more honest and aware the stigma would be removed from seeking help especially by people who have had abusive backgrounds. Theres no shame in needing help to heal yourself.

Knitted, we differ in most things but I have a sneaking suspicion that your opinions on SS are one of the few things I do concur with you on! :)

ahhh! i see! :) i apologise for my knobishness in the past!

MIND have some good advice on their website about depression and for those coping with people with depression.

birds, i just don't always think the answer is anti d's all the time, maybe shes unhappy but not depressed?

i don't think getting the drs, cp, ss etc
may be the right move

problem is, none of us on here really know do we.