to think that a 'stranger' 'pretending' to tell off a 2 year old is unacceptable?

[KeenBean]

I went to dinner at someone's house yesterday. It was very kind of them to cook for us. At one point my 2 year old DD spilt some milk on the floor. The guy that had cooked the dinner (very tall) towered over her and said 'did you do that? you will have to clear it up then..' in a very stern voice. She was terrified and cried and hid her face for about half an hour. He was only joking; but doesn't everyone know that 2 year olds are incapable of discerning that?

Ah, the guy probably feels awful you know! He'll learn from it.

who was this guy? sounds like you dont know him too well either?

Oh actually I think YADNBU. My neice at around the same age vomited during a meal out with my PIL. My FIL who is also very tall and stern looking made some sarcy comment about the mess when she came out of the loos (in one of our coats because her clothes were covered) and she just cried and cried.

I was really annoyed by this - kids at that age don't really get sarcasm and can find it quite upsetting, joke or not.

YABU

YABU

Get a grip, this sounds a bit PFB so yes, YABU

you're mad and overprotective

YANBU to be put out that your DD was so upset, but YABU to be really annoyed with the guy, he didn't mean to and was probably really embarressed. We had some work friends of DH's 'round for a meal when DD was the same age as yours, they brought us an enormous box of chocs, but as we were opening them after dinner (DD been really good throughout, desperately anticipating them) Mr Work Friend joked "YOU can't have any!" to DD. Well. She did eventually stop crying/sobbing/shaking, but it took a loooooong time and DH and I still squirm to think of it years later!

my dd would probably have the same reaction and i'd feel a bit upset for her (as in oops she has got the wrong end of the stick) but not upset with the person who did it. he probably expected her to giggle back at him some children are a bit more sensitive to 'stern' voices than others. her big brothers at the same age would have just stared blankly back at him him or roared with laughter. they are all different aren't they?

I think it depends on how you typically talk to your DCs? My parents always took the piss out of us from a young age - my mother told me there were boggarts in the laundry room, and my dad that he wished he'd had goldfish instead of children, and if we were bad, he'd flush us down the toilet.

Maybe this guy is accustomed to joke around with his kids? Maybe he doesn't have any and is thinking of a 2yo as emotionally older than she is?

Whatever, people cross boundaries every day. If it's unintentional and not hugely damaging, you cut them some slack.