To be annoyed with NSPCC

[AtoZinAHurry]

I have spoken to them on several occasions about a seriously dysfunctional and potentially dangerous situation, and on 2 out of 4 times, they have been dismissive and rude. Once they asked me for personal information, despite my wanting to remain anonymous. I am very sorry to find them unhelpful and unsupportive. Both times when they were kind over the phone, I was in no situation to give them the details they needed to take the situation further.

What about Social Services?

Im confused.

You feel they are out of order because they asked you to give details about the person you wanted to report? How did you expectthem to do anything without such information?

I did not expect them to be rude and dismissive when I had the information available. I did not expect not to be believed, when I had the infomation available. I did not expect to be asked for personal information when I had information available.

I felt tbat I was talking to poorly trained people some of the time.

Dont bother with Social Services either they are just as rude and dismissive - well they were to me.

you were probably talking to a volunteer who has given their time t answer calls.

They always ask for your details though you do not have to give them.

And if what you was reporting was something that was hearsay or some judgemental nosey neighbour type complaint then they were probably miffed that you would be wasting their time with it.

Sadly not the case.

Nspcc and SS get loads of anonymous tips from nosey neighbours/ shit stirrers / vengeful ex parents. How can they take seriously an anonymous tip? If you are worried about a childs safety why not say who you are to make sure it has credibility ?

Ex partners not ex parents

I agree with JBellingham.

Actually I think YANBU, because I have been in a similar situation with them.
I seriously suspected that my ex-neighbour was abusing her child I was sure of the emotional abuse, within a week of moving in, but also suspected physical.

I called the police, social services and NSPCC in a panic one day having previously called social services with a pathetic ohh maybe I?m interfering but. I?m a bit worried and this is why . .
They were polite and pleasant and said they?d make a note and investigate as soon as they could and if I was concerned again to call back.
When the yelling (I hate you, I wish you were dead you?re scum, I should have aborted you I hate you, kid was about 6 maybe 7 your father was right I should have flushed you down the loo) started again the next day I was calling social services, it was just engaged constantly, called the police, and in desperation called the NSPCC.

Where I was asked if I had children, no, and that maybe I should realise that not everyone disciplined their child in the same way (so telling your 7 year old that you wish you had aborted them is an acceptable form of discipline to the NSPCC then? )
And maybe I should try to make friends with neighbour.
See her point of view.
Why the fuck would I want to be friends with someone who was abusing their child.

Thankfully the police arrived about then, never found out exactly what happened, they were renting the house and she never came back that we saw.

I do wonder about him and hope to God that life is better for him and he?s with someone who loves him, and as OH says at least he knows that what he was experiencing was wrong and that someone was concerned and noticed.

But back to the point not everyone disciplined their child in the same way I mean really?

Would you ever see that as an acceptable form of discipline?
And this from someone who represents a society that claims to advocate for children??

I can accept that they most likely do get a ton of shit stirrers ex?s of both sexes being total shits etc but in my case at least I was more than happy to give all and any personal details, I had already done so with the police.
And yes maybe calling them as well as the police was a bit much but I was panicking. . .

I was not happy to give personal details because of threats from the mother to my immediate family, which could potentially make things much worse.

NSPCC asked me previously, were the children fed? Yes, they are not starving to death. When and what is another question. Are they clothed? They are not running around naked and without shoes, so yes, they have clothes of a sort on their backs.

I too can accept that there are a lot of shit stirrers and nosey neighbours.

Ring Social Services and keep ringing. You may feel put out by their inappropriate reaction to what you say but please keep ringing you may be the only one the children have to help them.

The NSPCC really only give advice. Its Social Services that investigate. If you hear screaming and shouting ring the police to, they have a duty to go round to the property if there are children there.

Have a thick skin and keep going. Child Protection is everyones concern.

I agree with slipperandpjsmum.

For people to advise others to not ring social services is bad advice, imo.

I'm sad that some people have been dismissed and given a cold reception by either NSPCC or SS, but that is no reason to not keep pushing on and on if a child is at risk.

OP - keep on at them until they do something.

so even though you believe a child may be at risk you're not prepared to give your name? You're obviously not that worried then.......

controlpantsandgladrags, what if giving your name puts your children at risk?

If you are not willing to say who you are why should they bother? Too many people with their own agendas call SS with anonymous crap. Give your details and tell them to keep them confidential. SS are used to keeping things private. If the situation gets sorted then what harm is your details?

Thanks for the advice. I will get onto SS and the Emergency Duty Team. My parents have SS working with them and they all know the situation, but Mum's team is only interested in her health, although the situation is affecting everyone.

It is not true that SS keep things private. Try as they might, they often don't. Things slip. This much I know.