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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this really annoying?

43 replies

Awhiteelephantintheroom · 07/03/2011 16:53

Several other mums that I know or am friends with are nice enough, but cannot hold a conversation with another adult without their children butting in over and over again.

If I'm talking and my kids butt in, I make them wait until I've finished my conversation, unless it's urgent. Some other mums will immediately halt the conversation, see to their child if it makes the tiniest sound, then back to the conversation, just get back on topic and child utters another word, so back to the children again, and so on, until the original subject of the conversation is completely forgotten.

Very irritating!

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 07/03/2011 16:59

yes i agree!!!

over indulgent and rude!!

MrsH75 · 07/03/2011 16:59

It might be irritating but that's what I do, even if it's just a pause to tell them to shush.

Original poster
Awhiteelephantintheroom · 07/03/2011 17:02

Telling them to shush doesn't bother me, I sometimes pause to say that to mine. What I mean really is people who stop the conversation, get little Penelope to repeat what she's said, do whatever little Penelope is demanding, and then start tickling little Penelope, before saying "Sorry, what were we saying?"

OP posts:
OTheHugeDaffodils · 07/03/2011 17:02

YANBU. I find this incredibly irritating.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 07/03/2011 17:03

YANBU. Drives me bonkers.

GypsyMoth · 07/03/2011 17:04

but where is this??

school playground after school? its difficult to hold proper convo's then anyway

Original poster
Awhiteelephantintheroom · 07/03/2011 17:06

Soft play, kids parties, playdates at houses, anywhere really....

OP posts:
worraliberty · 07/03/2011 17:10

It really pisses me off

And even more so when the child tries to chip in with their 'opinion' on what you're discussing and the parent actually involves them instead of telling them to butt out.

Original poster
Awhiteelephantintheroom · 07/03/2011 17:12

Yes that annoys me too Worraliberty. The kids of those kinds of parents usually say personal, insulting things to adults too, or are just downright rude.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 07/03/2011 17:12

whatever happened to kids being seen and not heard!!Grin

thats how it was when i was small

squeakytoy · 07/03/2011 17:15

Drives me mad too. When I did it as a kid, I was told in no uncertain terms not to interrupt an adult conversation. It is part of a childs learning curve to respect this.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 07/03/2011 17:17

This drives me mad! I've lost count of the number of half-conversations I've had with friends where I never ever get to hear the end of the story because one of their children interrupted and became a priority. I am really concious of my children doing this, and I pull my dad up for instantly referring to them and cutting me off mid-sentence too!!

IDontThinkSoDoYOU · 07/03/2011 17:19

I can beat all that! I had people over for dinner who brought their pretty rude children with them. I was talking with another adult and one of the children tried to interrupt me, I tried to ignore what they were saying thinking as their parents are standing next to me listening to me talking to this other adult, they will tell them to wait. Instead of telling their child to wait they told me to stop talking and listen to their child!!! I am not kidding. Wanna know what the brat kid wanted? To tell me my internet connection was really slow, much slower than theirs at home and what was I going to do about it!

I shit you not.

PorcelinaOfTheVastOceans · 07/03/2011 17:21

bloody hell idontthinkso i would have been Shock!

YANBU OP, my DB and i were taught to wait until the person talking has finished, and DD will be too!

Original poster
Awhiteelephantintheroom · 07/03/2011 17:21

Idontthinkso, that is so incredibly fucking rude of them. I would have been speechless at that. Just so, so rude

OP posts:
Shodan · 07/03/2011 17:22

This is one of my current pet peeves.

Ds2 is 3.4 and I am in the process of teaching him not to interrupt. However neither DH nor his parents seem to remember this (which is very odd, because they are very good in all other ways). It especially annoys me when I'm talking to them and they stop listening in order to talk at great length to ds2, because I have to restart the conversation several times and then usually just give up. Sometimes I feel like noone wants to listen to my pearls of wisdom...Grin

However now I just loudly tell ds2 not to interrupt and tell the PILs that that's what we're working on at the moment. I think we'll get there.

IDontThinkSoDoYOU · 07/03/2011 17:23

Yeah they are fucking rude and will never come back in my house again! Any of them!

Original poster
Awhiteelephantintheroom · 07/03/2011 17:23

It's not just the interupting to listen to their child that annoys me, for example if I go to soft play with my friend, we'll be talking, her 4 year old DD will come along and demand my friend takes her on the slide and my friend will go off mid conversation, take her DD on the slide, chase her round the equipment, go and buy her a packet of crips, and then come back to continue the conversation leaving me sitting on my own like a lemon because my children are capable of amusing themselves for 2 minutes.

OP posts:
superv1xen · 07/03/2011 17:26

oh yes! a pet hate of mine! Angry

my kids know to never interrupt mummy unless its a matter of absolute life and death Wink

BabyYoureAFirework · 07/03/2011 17:32

This is a pet hate of mine too Angry

And I'll tell you another. Calling my sister at vast expense, because she only has a mobile, to spend about a pound a minute listening her talking to her children for half an hour. Fuck, it makes me angry.

rinabean · 07/03/2011 17:33

Obviously you are less interesting than their children. I believe that makes it your problem.

FourFortyFour · 07/03/2011 17:35

YABU.

Often the child only needs a few seconds attention but if they are ignored they will continue to interrupt. It isn't indulgent at all Hmm.

worraliberty · 07/03/2011 17:36

Baby that's another thing that makes me fume Angry

Presumably they'd think it rude if they chatted to another adult while you were waiting on the line, so why don't they think it's rude to chat to their little darlings? Hmm

strawberrycake · 07/03/2011 17:37

I feel on my own at the baby group at times. If 9m/o is happy crawling/ playing I let him. I lounge on the sofa and lazily observe him roaming the (safe) room. I go over if he's upset or about to do something dangerous. EVERY other mum goes for the child on her lap or touching approach. He is the only one who roams. There is NO danger, plus it's a small room I can cross in a few steps. I'm free to converse (god it's not often I am!) and everyone else is totally wrapped up in helping little Ella/ Max play. My ds is happy to explore alone and entertain himself by eyeballing watching other kids. I bet their kids would be happy too if they bloody let go for a minute. Every time we get into a conservation they suddenly interrupt with 'look at this' or 'did you see that face she just pulled'. The kids are too young to interrupt yet their parents are seemingly TRAINING them to do it for later life.

I'm not a cow, I give him attention if he needs it but I do value independent play a lot.

worraliberty · 07/03/2011 17:38

Often the child only needs a few seconds attention but if they are ignored they will continue to interrupt.

So the parent needs to continue to teach them not to Hmm

If it's important then fair enough but if it's just to tell you something they could tell you at any time, they need to learn that 'conversation time between adults' is not the right time.

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