to dislike "baby brain" as an excuse

[MmeLindt]

for forgetfulness.

I had my DC in Germany and there is no such thing as "baby brain" there. No one uses the term and if you forget something, you have forgotten it. It is not due to your pregnancy.

It is twee, YANBU there. But then, most things surrounding babies and new mothers are twee.

I don't find it patronising though.

I had morning sickness for 20 weeks with DS and 17 weeks with DD, then I got major heartburn and eventually pre-eclampsia with both at the end of my pregnancies so wasn't sleeping well and feeling generally unwell too.

No idea if hormones had a hand too but the lack of sleep and ongoing sickness definitely left me feeling distracted and forgetful.

Not exactly baby-brain though - I suspect anyone feeling that poorly would have trouble day-to-day.

Youngblowfish
That book looks very interesting. Am off to order it.

I had never heard of it before I started using MN, Badger. Is it a new thing then?

Psammead
Interesting that it is now used in Germany. Or perhaps it is a regional thing. I never heard it used, but then my youngest is 6yo.

BlathersKite
Yes, I am not talking about pregnancy related yukkiness causing forgetfulness, same as if you were ill.

But the "Oh, I am so forgetful, because I am preggers"

Demeaning? But it seems to be quite true. Not about brains shrinking, that's obviously bullshit.

I suppose it would be demeaning if applied agressively - for example 'don't ask Pregnantwoman to do that - she's got baby brain and wont manage' because I think it's quite easily overcome if you have to set your mind to a task.

But I think as an explaination for general forgetfulness during pregnancy, it's quite acceptable. For example, when my pregnant friend left my house and forgot to take her first born with her

it is simply lack of sleep

MmeLindt, it is a brilliant read :). I'd love to hear your thoughts on the book, I will be buying it for some of my friends to celebrate the International Women's Day tomorrow.

Oh, look. Evidence

The authors confront the fact that so many pregnant women, mums, their partners and even health professionals believe that ?preg-head? is a real condition. Professor Christensen says in a statement that ?Part of the problem is that pregnancy manuals tell women they are likely to experience memory and concentration problems - so women and their partners are primed to attribute any memory lapse to the ?hard to miss? physical sign of pregnancy.

err, actually a woman's brain grows during pregnancy.

Also see here

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8491493.stm

I've never heard of it for pregnancy.
I thought it made sense for having a newborn, when you're low on sleep and just for a little trip out you're thinking 'wipes -got, nappies - got, spare sleepsuit - got, sanitary towels - got, sibling's bookbag - got, shopping list - got, car keys - got. Shit the baby's still on the doorstep'!!

I agree that calling it names doesn't help womanhood at all. However, I was more forgetful when I was pregnant. I would dial a number on the phone and then struggle to remember who I was calling and what for. I learn to write everything down. I was careful though, not to ever use it as an excuse for not delivering at work as I didn't want to add to anyone's prejudice about womend, work, etc.

Now, I find that whole sections of my memories have gone. While I could remember the names and surnames of everyone I had ever met, now I have lagoons of emptiness. Not sure why, but it is definitely children induced. I like to think that it is because some of my brain is dedicated to running their lives on top of running mine and simply there is no room for everything.

I only admit this to other mothers and I find that most relate to me. My colleague at work, a model of efficiency and clear thinking admits that pregnancy and motherhood have affected this. We just find ways to cope, like making lists for everything...

youngblowfish
Have downloaded on Kindle.

MmeLindt et al., I don't think it's fair to dismiss the 'condition' as simply some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Tbh, I find that a lot more patronising than the phrase itself. If a woman experiences significantly more instances of forgetfulness and general absent-mindedness during pregnancy and early motherhood, why can't people just accept that it is, for her, the case? Why dismiss it as an imagined state of mind, only experienced because she expects to experience it? The vast majority of us know our own minds.

To be honest MmeLindt I find that link even more patronising than the term "baby brain".

I have a very carry on as usual approach to pregnancy, but my every day intellectual pursuits have become harder since I became pregnant and everything takes me longer. This is not because I have read in a book that I may become more forgetful.

I would also never giggle about this I'd be more inclined to say something along the lines of "fucking cunting baby brain I know there is another fucking way of writing that sentence but I can't fucking think of it now because my fucking brain has turned to mush".

I don't think that only having had one full nights sleep for my entire pregnancy has helped matters.

Psaamhead
Well, it is not just me dismissing it.

If people want to use the phrase, I am not going to say, "Oh, did you read the research that proved that there is no such thing as baby brain".

I just dislike the way in which it is used in a "oh, the little woman has forgotten something" kind of way. I find it patronising. Yes, even when women use it themselves.

Thefurryone
That is exactly what I am talking about.

Your forgetfulness is not due to your brain shrinking or "baby brain".

But is a direct result of lack of sleep.

Either way, it is horrible for you though. Sorry you are having problems sleeping.

WHy else would I have put the cheese in the cutlery drwer and poured milk into the washing machine? I've never done it before or since.

And it wasn't lack of sleep, I was sleeping more than I had ever slept in my life. It may have been due to pregnancy induced tiredness, but that in itself was caused by the hormone changes of my pregnancy, ergo thereason I was scatty was because of the pregnancy

Seems to me the proof that it does exist is all around all. Women who have experienced it know it to be true. It is not helpful to them or womenkind in general to be told they are imagininy things.

There are work-arounds. Someone mentioned making lists, writing things down etc. I am not for a moment suggesting that one cannot function at normal levels because of it. But to suggest it's just a mde up excuse is not helpful, I think.

It seems to be a fairly new phrase, but all that tells me is that before, women were simply expected to be bit scatty and useless so it wasn't noticed.

Hmm. This whole thing seems to bother me.

In a world in which there is still inequality in employment, I find the terms 'baby-brain' or 'pregnancy-brain' give ammunition to employers who are discriminatory in their practices.

I accept totally that there may be times when having a lot on one's mind, fluctuating hormones, and lack of sleep can make people feel and act differently, but to label it as something related to pregnancy or being a mother plays into the hands of Alan Sugar and the likes. How can women effectively lobby for the right to work into late pregnancy if we are simultaneously undermining our ability to work by labelling ourselves as dippy air-heads.

Venusandmars - and how can you expect due consideration to be shown by employers if we pretend that pregnancy makes no difference at all.

Thank you, lack of sleep isn't helping but I don't seem to struggle as much as I do now on the same amount of sleep when I'm not pregnant.

There is however a current study looking at the effects of sleep depreviation on pregnant women link if you're interested.

The literature review gives a good overview of studies into baby brain as an actual thing, the results seem to be mixed.

Sorry - wasn't suggesting that we pretend it doesn't exist, but rather that it is approached properly realting to specific issues so that appropriate adjustments can be made.