AIBU about my daughter

[Gemsy83]

She is 8 years of age, a lovely affectionate girl but common sense wise she is a nightmare. This morning I had to go on at her about everything, socks, brushing her teeth, can you bring your bookbag please etc? The last straw was as it was time to leave the book bag had just gotten 'lost'. I had a quick scout round in every room and couldnt find it. Have sinced look now shes at school and still cannot find it. Is it normal to be this infuriated by a childs couldnt care less lazy behaviour? Its not just this, many of her special toys/clothes etc are just chucked around and even the threat of taking them to the tip doesnt help her buck her dizzy little ideas up.

DrSeuss I thought just pretending to take it to the tip was OK... although it has the potential to become an empty threat when she discovers her stuff was merely hid away. I would sit her down, explain to her what is required of her, make a check of list to help her develop a routine and if it doesn't get done, example, toys not being put away, I would bag the stuff up and take it to charity with her in tow, telling her I'm sure they can find someone who will appreciate this stuff. I have a bit of a zero tolerance policy though when it comes to cleaning up toys and DD is only 2, the poor thing. She does clean up now though, haven't had to put her in the naughty spot in ages... I say, 'time to clean up toys' and if she doesn't or protests, I repeat once, then its 'Naughty spot in the count of three, one, t...' barely reach two.

I was like that growing up. Infuriated everyone around me. Still have some residual traits but now annoyingly organised and have done well at school work etc.

However I most certainly was not dyslexic and there's nothing in the OP's post that suggests this. As others have said, seems this is just her personality - the opposite of an anal, obsessive child of which there are many!

I often have conversations with friends about character traits of first born, second etc.

I maintain that all first born are neurotic, daydreamy, intelligent, lacking in social skills and many other things that I can't rem this late in the evening! Ds1 (9) drives me nuts and I often fail to remember that he is always like this and unless I stand over him and remind/instruct/shout he doesn't get stuff done.

Ds2 doesn't have half ds1's brains but he has nowse (sp?!) - he knows how to please, how to (appear to) try and he is co-operative (up to a point, he is only 7)

While the youngest in a family is sweet and adorable and funny and gets a bit spoilt but everyone loves then to bits. Oh, and i'm the youngest in my family...

I teach Year 7 - 13 and have a vertical form group. A lovely little chap joined Year 7 last Sep, second highest in yeargroup in all analyses in terms of cognitive ability etc., lovely personality, lovely family etc. BUT totally disorganised, I've just printed his timetable for the 11th time. However, after six weeks of losing (and being reunited with) his planner, school bag, coat, food and technology materials etc. etc., he suddenly got the plot, and except for the timetable thing is now swimming along nicely : coming to secondary school has meant that he's HAD to learn to get his act together and try to overcome his intellectual disorganisation ! :)

It's all very well saying "that's just her personality", but are you going ot be telling her to brush her teeth and put on her socks when she's 16?

Some people find it harder to be organised, but no-one is doing them any favours by saying 'oh they are just like that'. They have to learn to know where their bookbag is. Yes, it will be harder, the same way it's harder for uncoordinated people to learn to ride a bike, but it's a fundamental life skill and it's your job as a parent to teach that skill.

Well done to your ditsy yr 7 boy albert - can I ask were there consequences for losing his things or were they just replaced easily every time?

I kept a close eye on him, Trillian, and told him off with increasing severity, while also wondering why he was losing so many things. He was very upfront, was not being bullied, just took time to adapt to the less cocooned environment of sec school. It's great to see him now, much more together than in September !

Albert if you hadn't said vertical form group I'd have thought you were talking about my DS!

Bosch my two are the same. DS2 can totally wrap me round his finger, he just gets it whereas DS1 will push my buttons in the other direction!

I've learnt though with him that you have to stick to routines in order for them to eventually sink in. He has a list of things to do when he gets in - change, h/w, pack school bag, get uniform ready for next day
and a list in the morning - get dressed, make bed, pack lunch, brush teeth, leave on time!

He's now pretty much autonomous at home but I think he's still scatty at school and forgets about taking technology ingredients in etc which I wouldn't know need doing as he doesn't always write things in his journal!

I have one dd who is meticulously organised, always on time, has everything planned and sorted. My other dd is dreamy, apparently disorganised and has little awareness of time.

However dd1 is also more anxious and worried - concerned that she will be late or will have forgotten something, whereas dd2 is delightfully laid back and relaxed and stress free.

As they have got older they have both adjusted and bit, dd1 is more relaxed, and dd2 is travelling in Asia for 7 months on her own. So far she has not lost her passport, mobile or money, and has managed to deal with visas and travel timetables. And she is still dreamy and unstressed.

DS2 is like that. But slowly improving. In fact all of mine were at that age. It's tiring but it does pass.