to cross certain friends out of my birthday book?

[distantfriends]

Just had a birthday and two very old friends- who I rarely see- one lives overseas- have not sent cards. This is the 2nd year running in about 35 years they have missed mine. Only other contact is the Xmas cards and round robin letter and very occasioanl meetings.

Last year I made sure I sent them one. it's a bit tricky as one of then has a b'day same day as my DD- so it's hard for me to forget it and friend will know this.

However, I just feel a bit miffed that they don't remember mine .

I'm pretty good with birthdays but not sure if I should send to people who forgoet/ don't bother with me!

I always send them and get few back in return. I don't mind too much - I have a rubbish bday date, I get texts / FB instead. I thinks it's nice to receive a card as it seems a bit more personal, but I accept too that it's not a big deal to others.

I'm impressed you have a birthday book.

People lead busy lives - I think you may be reading too much into this. Not remembering birthdays isn't the same as not liking/caring about someone; don't make the mistake of muddling the two - some people just give card-sending more importance than others.

LOL the birthday book is metaphorical- it's in my head!

I actually have a birthday book . It's got all my friends and families birthdays in it including everyone's DC's. I have many crossings out in mine as it's about 10 years old and you just don't stay close friends enough with everyone for them all to remain in my book.

At the beginning of the month I check out the listings for that month and try to buy the cards then and get organised.

Last year a lot of people forgot my birthday/ didn't send me a card and I do wonder whether some people just don't care/ forget/ don't hold much value in a birthday card anymore.

I think it's a bit petty to not send them cards unless you get one from them. I'm sure if they forget it's not deliberate and it doesn't mean anything about your friendship or how they value you.

(It's my birthday today. There are a few good friends who haven't sent cards. I've had FB messages from most, but not all of them and I am not the least bit put out!)

Dh always buys me 2 cards as he knows I love them. I have 2 long term friends. One never sends me a card and one is always late. The first one is always there for me, understands me like no one else and is doing something really difficult and emotional for me. Never sends me a birthday card? Irrelevant.

Happy Birthday pozzled .

i havent sent cards this year to two friends because i have lost their addresses, have tried to find them but nothing :(

OP its not you is it :o

I'm always astonished that grown-ups actually bother with this kind of thing. I try to remember kids bdays - but adults - no. I don't care if I get bday cards and I don't generally send them. It just doesn't matter and I don't think gestures like this bear any relation to the quality of an actual relationship.

I think cards matter- my mum who is in her 80s gets about 30 every year!

sour- I don't think it's me as my friends do have my address!