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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have "apprehended" this toddler

33 replies

Whatever17 · 05/03/2011 21:38

I was in a local shopping mall today and saw a little boy (about 7) crying his eyes out. He was with an older bloke but really, really crying.

I have kids of my own but it didn't sound like usual whining, it just gave me the chills. And weird for a 7 year old to cry like that if he wasn't hurt.

It just gave me the willys and I followed them and the kid kept pulling away and crying.

I went to a police special in the end and pointed them out, after giving the special my details I faded away.

The special has just called me and said it was his Dad and they had had a scrap, no problem.

I feel like a right mug.

It just looked wrong to me, and I was so wrong. I have the old "scrap" with my kids too.

Maybe I'm a nutter? Dunno - if one of my kids was being taken then I would want someone to be "nosy" like I was.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatever17 · 05/03/2011 21:39

He wasn't a toddler of course - I just couldn't get James Bulger out of my mind!

OP posts:
Queenofchaos · 05/03/2011 21:40

YANBU

It's much better to feel like a bit of a fool than to regret not doing anything . Well done!

HSMM · 05/03/2011 21:40

Good for you

Serenity788 · 05/03/2011 21:40

Yanbu... If it was something dodgy and you saw it on the news the next day you would have hated yourself. Now it's done, and all is fine. The dad will prob be pissed off for a day or two but then will see the funny side.

ShavingGodfreysPrivates · 05/03/2011 21:40

No harm has been done OP and perhaps the father will think twice about making his son cry in public like that again.

If someone had been taking the child it could have saved a tragic incident so don't feel bad about it. Sometimes our instincts are all we have to go on.

sourdoughface · 05/03/2011 21:40

i would have done the same

femalevictormeldrew · 05/03/2011 21:41

Excuse my ignorance, but who was the toddler? Blush

Happymm · 05/03/2011 21:41

Think I'd have done the same tbh. Better to be safe than sorry. You wouldn't want to be watching CCTV on the news tonight about an abduction, so no harm done.

mamatomany · 05/03/2011 21:41

I imagine Madeleine cried a fair bit too and people walked past assuming she was having a trantrum :(

hellymelly · 05/03/2011 21:41

Much better to do something and be wrong,than to do nothing.Any parent would support that,I'm sure the Dad himself would completely understand.Well done.

lagrandissima · 05/03/2011 21:42

YANBU better safe than sorry

Meglet · 05/03/2011 21:42

yanbu.

If the dad has any sense he won't be too pissed off and would just be glad someone was looking out for a young child.

reallytired · 05/03/2011 21:42

Seven year olds can be fairly helpless even if they aren't toddlers. Poor Sara Payne could do nothing to defend herself and her ten year old brother tried his best to get help.

At least you care and sometimes its best go on gut feeling and to be safe rather than sorry.

femalevictormeldrew · 05/03/2011 21:43

Sorry, I just read your other post. Y were NBU at all, and if more people were quick thinking like you there would be less tragic stories

neepsntatties · 05/03/2011 21:43

Better safe than sorry, you did the right thing.

RevoltingPeasant · 05/03/2011 21:43

YANBU but honestly, would you have done the same if it had been an older woman?

Not having a pop, just interested.

worraliberty · 05/03/2011 21:43

I would have done the same. Glad there was a special on hand.

NotAnotherNewNappy · 05/03/2011 21:44

YANBU - You have to trust your instincts, good on you.

givemesomespace · 05/03/2011 21:45

YADNBU - I have had to drag one of my DCs out of a shop, kicking and screaming (the little one that is, not me) and thought to myself "what must this look like - hold on if it does looks like that, should someone be challenging me?" In a way, I would prefer to be challenged.

Jaydles · 05/03/2011 21:46

YANBU at all. 32 people walked past Jamie Bulger being dragged away and did nothing bar 1 who asked where the parents were to be fobbed off by the older boys, imagine if the story had broken the next day that the boy was missing. No harm done and to be honest as a parent I would feel safer knowing that someone had cared enough to double check even if it meant explaining myself to the police

PotPourri · 05/03/2011 21:47

This post has made me feel so sad. Good for you OP. But what a sad reminder of all those poor little stolen children. Feel proud - you did the right thing, and it could have been the difference between an abducted child and a near miss. It wasn't in this case, but it could have been.

hidenseek · 05/03/2011 21:47

I think you were right to trust your gut. YANBU.

Original poster
Whatever17 · 05/03/2011 21:52

Hidenseek - yes - but you know what - my "Gut" was wrong. I am sure the Dad won't care in a day or two, I wouldn't.

OP posts:
nannynick · 05/03/2011 21:53

YANBU you reported it, the special constable did their job and established the situation. That's why we have volunteer police, to help with community issues. In this case you and the special constable could have helped prevent an abduction. As it was, the father and son had had an argument, which with luck the special was able to assist with in such a way that both were happy to go home.

pigletmania · 05/03/2011 21:53

YANBU at all, you did the right thing. Better to do that and it turn out not to be anything than to do nothing and the child is subjected to harm, yes I thought of James Bulger. DD nearly 4 has speech and lang delay, and is prone to tantrums if she does not get her own way, I was walking back from the shop with her, she wanted to go to the park, and we have been already, I wanted to go home, she was wailing 'I want my mummy' whilst I was dragging walking her home, and kept wailing that. I thought I am your mummy dd, what must other people in the street think Blush. I think that she just wanted to be carried but I did not want to carry her as she is too heavy now.