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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my mum should be ashamed of herself ?

37 replies

macdoodle · 05/03/2011 20:46

Her house is filthy really bogging. I have spent all evening scrubbing the kitchen and gagging. Thing is she is a relatively healthy 65 yr old. A bit overweight and a smoker but no reason she can't clean. She isn't depressed. She doesn't work. I gently pointed out the worst in the kitchen (thick mouldy gunge on the draining board etc) and she just denied it. Absolutely gross. We cannot stay here again.

OP posts:
Original poster
macdoodle · 05/03/2011 21:28

Lovely brisk. I am a part time GP because I am a lone parent. The majority of my income goes on paying horrendous joint debts from my xh the next on my solicitor to try and sort out said debts. My xh pays no child support do I fully support my 2 children. The.rest goes.on my medical fees and defense payments and living expenses. I am as skint as I have ever been and am not paying for her to sit on her arse. But thanks for the blinked daily mail comment.

OP posts:
onlion · 05/03/2011 21:28

Do you think her depression os worse than you suspect?

Original poster
macdoodle · 05/03/2011 21:30

Sorry sore point that because I'm a GP I must be loaded. I'm not

OP posts:
Original poster
macdoodle · 05/03/2011 21:31

I don't think she is depressed tbh though she has been in the past.

OP posts:
herbietea · 05/03/2011 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Whatever17 · 05/03/2011 21:48

macdoodle - sorry, I just assumed - GP - £80 - 100k. If she is healthy and 65 and doesn't care about her "filth" (maybe it's a bit subjective?) then leave her to it and stay in a B&B. Sorry! Why are you so cross about a house you don't HAVE to stay in though?

Just stay elsewhere - or have her to stay with you.

mamatomany · 05/03/2011 21:50

it can also just be slipping standards as they become older, more tired or less bothered by things.

That started at around 30 for me Blush

ninah · 05/03/2011 21:52

It's her house, her rules. Yabu

Serenity788 · 05/03/2011 21:53

Yanbu... But she sounds like she needs some tlc/a good kick up the bum to get restarted. Tell her you have cleaned now and she needs to keep
on top of it.

Whatever17 · 05/03/2011 21:58

OP - I think Serenity has a point - maybe get her back on track then leave her to it. Maybe she has money of her own and could pay for a one off clean.

Sometimes the house can get so bad you don't know where to start.

I often feel like that and then pay for a spring clean and can start again.

Maybe as a mother's day present?

alistron1 · 05/03/2011 22:12

Macdoodle, I have a dad a bit like this. My sister and I haven't been 'allowed' into his home (which was our childhood home) for the past 10 years because he's very defensive about it.

If we organised a cleaner/skip or sorted it ourselves he'd be really cross and even more defensive.

It makes us very sad, but this is the way he chooses to live. Ironically he has the most amazing garden and spends a lot of time making it look beautiful.

chipmonkey · 05/03/2011 23:05

Macdoodle, my Mum is like this. ( I'm sure my SIL thinks I am like this but she is a clean freak!Grin)

Do you think if you refused to stay there that that would give her a suitable kick up the bum?

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