over my DS's first birthday?

[allibaba]

Ok, in short my best mate has decided to have her DS christened on the same weekend as my DS's first birthday party. Although they are on different days, there are 2 hours apart in terms of location and our other best friend is god mother to both DS's. I told her what I was planning 5 weeks ago and invited her, however she emailed me 2 weeks ago to tell me what she had booked and told me not to worry if we couldn't make it becuase of DS's b'day.

I then found out from other best mate that she had always intended to have it that weekend but hadn't bothered to tell me. I feel really upset as I would never have done this to her but can't tell her I feel as it'll only upset her and make a situation worse.

BUT AIBU in the first place for thinking she shouldn't have booked it the same weekend?!

YANBU, but bear in mind that most people would view a Christening as more important that a first birthday party.

Remember that when people have kids, their sensitivities and priorities can often go out the window. Try not to take it personally.

well maybe she has good reason to have it that weekend for family to be there or something?
and she may view her child's christening to be a little bit more important than a birthday party

AND, they aren't even on the same day!!!

i think you're over-thinking it. it will be fine

The two events are on different days, I can't see a problem. Am I missing something?

Most churches specify particular dates for Christenings to be held on.

2 hours is also easily manageable in a day anyway so your friends should be able to attend both events.

However, a first birthday party, although nice to have, it isn't really a major event in a child's life.

Don't worry about it, and have a lovely party for your DS :)

I can see why you might be upset especially as it sounds like she's not that bothered whether you can come to her child's Christening. I think the fact that she emailed you suggests she knows you'll be a bit upset too. I do think expecting her to arrange the Christening around your childs birthday is a unreasonable though.

Fair points from everyone. I think I do need to get a bit of perspective on this as you are all right, it is only the 1st birthday and DS won't remember it!

I think I am more upset about it feeling like she didn't call me to let me know although it appears it was common knowledge amoungst everyone else. Had she done that I think I would have said fair enough and although been a little peeved that I couldn't be there to celebrate it, would have understood.

i guess maybe she was worried that you'd be really upset?

she is one of a group of 3 close friends. one had a baby, who was christened. She found out on the day that the other friend was going to be godparent.

she wouldn't have minded, but she then felt really hurt that they hadn't said anything! they didn't say anything cos they didn't want to upset her even tho she would find out on the day