To be fed up with friends constant break-up talk

[canttakenomore]

It was a short-term LDR, she was very much a bunny-boiler to him. (But is in denial about this) From what I can make out he viewed it far more casual than she did.

She refused to see the signs and red flags and ploughed on regardless.

Still talking about it 5 months later. Every day. I've been as kind and sympathetic as I can but I have bigger problems of my own. She only aknowledges these so that she can shut me up to steer the conversation back to him again.

He cut her dead, She still drunkenly texts him and then expects to cry on my shoulder about it when he doesn't reply.

What is a reasonable time for someone to get over an 8 month LDR which involved no kids and from what I can make out was in reality 9 or 10 dirty weekends and the rest was texting.

AIBU to be fed-up with this?

What does LDR mean?

Seems like he is a symptom rather than the cause of her problem. Be straight with her, sit her down, tell her

LDR=long distance relationship

LDR - long distance relationship?

OP - Are you sure he didn't string her along a bit? He might have been a right pig in which case her upset might be very valid.

5 months later - what are you doing to help distract her? I'm sure you have your own issues, as you've said but have you really tried to help?

It might be time for a "cruel to be kind" chat with her.

Look, I know this has been incredibly hard for you, but you have to move on. You talk about it every day and that is not helping you to move past it. You re-live it constantly. You are actually bringing down the people who care most about you and it is causing problems for us now. I have problems too and I need you to help me sometimes. I need your advise/help/time/support now.

Sending my sympathy as I have a friend like this who drives me insane! It is definitely a self esteem issue rather than the man himself. As soon as she meets the next one he will be forgotten and she'll have somebody new to focus on and then self-destruct over. It's awful to watch but I honestly don't know how to help!

He totally strung her along but she knew that herself. He never made her any promises. She saw marriage, he saw sex.

I have bent over backwards to help her. Taking her for evenings out, comforting her over and over. Listening non-judgementally for HOURS. Texts, calls, emails. If I dont answer her emails she texts me to tell me to go online. She's draining me.

With the kids depending on me, and nown I have her too and she is not gettting any better really. I can see her having a massive strop if I try to tell her. should she still be talking about him 5 months later? is that normal?

Thing is I have kind of dug my own grave. I haven't been truthful with her, I couldn't be cruel at first when she was so distressed. He wen't no contact on her Birthday, just stopped calling/texting (I kind of understand why now )

It will seem a really mean if I turn around now and more or less say 'I'm sick listening to it'...

YAnbu. You can't expect endless sympathy from your friends, especially over something relatively trivial like this. You do have a duty to not be completely tedious to your friends, imo

Suspect she's more upset about being single than this break up

Thanks. What about the timeframe, would it be normal to be still mentioning it every day a couple of months later?

She's so repetitive.

She keeps saying the same stuff over and over. Telling the same stories, I'm avoiding logging into mail as there is always some sort of crisis involving remembering something they did together, finding something that reminded her of him.

I feel like screaming if she mentions him again.

She keeps making out she's moving on but to me is just obsessed. She constantly wants to visit me now and it's becoming awkward.