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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my dc's are being treated differently?

14 replies

kellimay · 05/03/2011 12:52

This is going to sound really silly, but i feel like my step sister & her ds have 'preferencial treatment'.....Dont get me wrong we get on great, but when i want to take my dc's to see their papa the calendar gets checked to see if they (dad & step mum) can fit them in for a few hours, where as my step sister can drop in whenever she wants. If, on the odd occasion i ask for them to look after my dc's for a few hours like i have done for this coming tuesday, i have to ask weeks in advance & i will get a different excuse reason as to why they cant do it, but when my step sister asks a few minutes before she needs to drop ds off the opportunity is welcomed with open arms & everything else that they were doing gets put on hold, but if i were to do that i would be told i need to take in to consideration that they have their own lives too.....Am i being sensitive to something that isnt there or am i right in thinking that my dc's are being treated differently?

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 05/03/2011 13:40

If the care of the children falls on your step mother, then it may be the case that she favors having her daughters child.

But is there a difference in age or behaviour of the dcs that means they are more reluctant to have yours, or the fact that your stepsis only has 1 dc? If you get on well with them otherwise it may be worth ignoring this behaviour.

sims2fan · 05/03/2011 13:49

Either yes, they are being very unfair or, your kids aren't as well behaved as their cousin.

HecateTheCrone · 05/03/2011 13:58

Yes. they are being treated differently.

You could always ask the reason for this.

Original poster
kellimay · 05/03/2011 14:57

There is only a slight difference in age & sims2fan, my dc's are very well behaved!!
I have never asked my step mum, always my dad, but he always has to check with her, but she would never
have to check with him.....If i bought this up with them id be told i was being silly, but i dont think i am, i wouldn't see a difference in treatment if it wasn't there surely...?

OP posts:
HecateTheCrone · 05/03/2011 15:05

step mum?

Is that the difference?

Is your sister her biological daughter?

That'll be it.

I bet my last rolo.

HappyMummyOfOne · 05/03/2011 15:09

It's probably because she is your step mums daughter and they are her blood grandchildren.

Otherwise it could be a number of things, perhaps the SD pays for babysitting or is very appreciative, perhaps she helps them out in other ways etc.

Original poster
kellimay · 05/03/2011 15:18

Ahhh....Note to self...must be more appreciative.....Hmm

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 05/03/2011 15:47

I do think they are favouring your step sister and I would say something along the lines of how comes dear SS can just drop in anytime she wants and get a babysitter but when I ask to see you I have to make an appointment, or you are too busy to look after my kids.

My dad remarried, and her children she lives near and sees all the time, they treat them and their children totally different to ours, my dad was always too busy for us but not his wife's kids, they got different amounts spent at Christmas than our children.

Hence, I dont have fuck all to do with them anymore. Isn't fair on my kids and Im not having them treated like second class citizens by no fucker and that includes family.

Original poster
kellimay · 05/03/2011 16:02

FabbyChic That is exactly how it is, they have other grandchildren, 2 more than already mentioned which aren't my dads blood, although we live pretty much the same distance away, just in different directions.

Prime example, it was my DS's first b'day last tuesday & they had to make sure that they had enough time in the day to see him. My dad was busy because he was a) looking after SS DS, b)arsing around with 'writing a book'. Surely you wouldn't have to check your schedule for your first blood grandsons first bday? I make a point of saying first blood grandson as he has 3 step grandsons....Like i mentioned before, i cant imagine my step mum ever having to check with him to see her blood grandchildren, so why should he, is it just a case of him needing to man up or do i need to address some issues, not only with them but some of my own that i haven't dealt with??

OP posts:
worraliberty · 05/03/2011 16:08

When you ask your Dad to look after your son, does any of the care fall on your step mum's shoulders or does he actually do the babysitting himself?

Original poster
kellimay · 05/03/2011 16:13

He'll put both my dc's in front of cbeebies.....she's nearly always out which is yet another thing that enrages me because if she's not in, them being there doesn't affect her & what she's doing....whether its coincidence that she's out or she makes sure she is when they're there, i dont know....why does he have to consult her.....grrrrrr

OP posts:
worraliberty · 05/03/2011 16:23

Maybe she does make sure she's out and that's why he consults her? It does sound a bit odd.

ajandjjmum · 05/03/2011 16:42

Maybe she consults him about her gc coming around?

HecateTheCrone · 05/03/2011 16:53

Well, why don't you just tell them how you feel?

Worst that could happen is they stop speaking to you.

At least you'll know how little they truly feel about you.

But they may surprise you and change.

Or you could just continue to contain simmering resentment. Which will end up giving you an ulcer!

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