To be upset? Or am I just sleep deprived?

[neepsntatties]

My brother and his partner were meant to be coming to see me today to meet dd who is five weeks old. He called last night to say he wasn't coming as he was going with my other brother and sil to the place where we scattered our dad's ashes. He is hoping to get married there so wanted to show it to his partner.

I feel upset because we were all expecting them including ds who is three. I had said no to other things and it just feels inconsiderate. I also thought he would want to see the baby as well as me.

I also feel like they are going to see Dad without me. If I had known sooner I would have gone too, I want to be there. It's almost a year since he died and I miss him. The place is far away though and I could not have managed the drive myself right now as I am very sleep deprived and dh is busy so can't take me.

I feel low about it all but am aware that I am also exhausted and emotional and might be irrational.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

YANBU. Your brother should have asked you along. Also a bit off that he cancelled on you.

Are you close to your brother? Can you tell him that you feel hurt?

Congrats on your baby daughter.

I think it sounds thoughtless of them not to invite you but they probably thought with a new baby that you wouldn't want to go.
He's inconsiderate cancelling the plans to visit you at the last minute though, could his other trip not have waited?
I'd tell him how you feel and get it off your chest because things can magnify when you are sleep deprived.

Yanbu - I think it's inconsiderate of him to cancel at such short notice - I've found this a lot with my 4 wk old dd, people assume you've not got anything else planned and cancel their visit on the day. My brother did the same last week and I was upset because a) he didn't come and see me and dd and b) I'd told other people not to come because he would be visiting.

Yanbu about feeling left out of visiting your father too.

Or maybe I'm hormonal too and we're both U!

Thank you. He did ask me but it was at nine last night so I couldn't get organised in time, I was expecting him here at ours.

We are quite close but didn't say anything, I am never very good at doing things like that.

Some people just don't think.
I'm sure he didn't intend to upset you and like Lulabel said, they maybe thought as you have just had a baby you would have had no other plans anyway.