to be sick and tired of being tired

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dd is 18m and i'm still getting as little sleep as when she was newborn. she has only slept through without waking 5 times and those were in last month. last night she woke at 10..just as i was trying to get early night and then i went in to her every 5 or 10 mins until 12 when she finally slept. she woke again at 2, back to sleep after 2 visits but i couldn't sleep for nearly an hour..
then up again at 5.30 so i've slept 4 and half hours broken sleep and this is very typical.
i had lots of plans for today but i'm exhausted i'm waiting for dh to get up so i can go back to bed for couple hours. this is ruining our lives we have 3dc. older dd won't go to ballet this morning as i don't feel safe to drive. i'm supposed to meet old friend who's in the country for this weekend only for coffee and will have to cancel. i look a fright and feel totally miserable, short tempered etc. i can't function on couple hours broken sleep. dh is getting up with dc alternate mornings and we get a proper lie in each at weekend but i do the night wakings. he sleeps heavily but i always wake and have trouble sleeping again.
to top it off dd grizzles and whines constantly because she so tired and miserable, she has my sympathy i feel the same!
sorry for rant but are there other people out there in same fog? i feel like noone understands how crap it is, just struggling through days. always cancelling plans and doing very little. obsessed by need to sleep. i don't know anyone still completely sleep deprived after 18m.

I feel for you I really do.My 2 and half year old dd still wakes about 3times in the night

Its awful isn't it ? DS is 15 months and sounds similar. I also had bad SPD when pg so had hardly any sleep then either. I reckon I'm on about 20 months without a full night's sleep.

I hate having to change daytime plans because I am so knackered. I just constantly feel like I'm living some kind of half life I try to cancel as little as possible (lots of coffee and a shower make me able to just about function).

I know your DH sleeps heavily, but is there any chance you could negotiate one full night off a week where he does all the wakings ? Or would there be a willing grandparent who would perhaps do a night, say, once per month so you could catch up a bit ?

Was there any "winning formula" for the nights she did sleep ? DS definitely sleeps better if he's had the "right" amount of daytime sleep ime. Have you tried Calpol in case she is teething ?

I clearly am not the best person to advise as my DS is rubbish at sleeping. He is getting better and we have had a few sleeps through. However, 3 year old dd has suddenly started to wake up now They're like a bloody sleep depravation tag team !

urrggg want sleep too zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Have you posted in sleep? they give good advice over there.

Why did you go in every 10 min? (genuine question)

hi fellow sufferers,
tillysmum- you have my sympathy dd1 is 3 and had only just started sleeping well when dd2 born, i had spd and insomnia in pregnancy too so feel like i havn't slept well for nearly 4 years. it's the pits. i try to carry on as normal but i hate the fact i've become haggered barely able to string together a conversation woman. days when i know i shouldn't try to drive are the worst though. a total write off of day.
we don't have any family to call on. i wish dh would get up most weekday mornings but he refuses to. not much point in dh getting up at night at weekend as then he'd be same as me and at least if he gets night sleep he can do something with dc and i wake up when i hear dd and can't sleep again anyway
blackeyedsusan- dd2 basically stands and screams or calls mama in her cot without pause for breath. i lie her down say goodnight leave and repeat until she concedes defeat and decides to sleep. i try to leave her 5-10 mins and don't bring her into our bed anymore as was more disruption and she will then wake at same time every night to come into our bed. the dd's share a room and so i can't just leave dd2 to cry to sleep as eventually other dd will be woken. dd1 is also tired and grumpy when woken up v early. she won't nap and will just whine and moan all afternoon unless watching telly or doing something at home
aghh i know she will grow out of it eventually but months have become years and i'm just more tired

DS is 18 months old and regularly spends two hours in the middle of the night awake. Someone has to be in with him at these times as he has separation anxiety (during the day too) and screams if he is left and definitely wouldn't go back to sleep then.

The few nights (4 or 5) he has slept through I have not got the benefit of because insomnia has kept me awake or I have woken in the night anyway. My DH does more of the night wakings, because he can get back to sleep easily after being up, but I get woken anyway.

I don't remember what it is like to not be tired or to have energy. I don't cancel plans though. My reasoning is that if I don't do stuff because I'm tired, I'd never do anything.

No advice, just you're not alone.

thanks giraffe (raises a clenched fist of support anda bleary eyed wink!)
insomnia is just cruel icing on the top, i feel your pain

I totally empathise. DD is 18 months and not a great sleeper cwe have in the past week stopped giving her milk in the night and trying not to get her out of the cot. Its been a bit of a hellish week. I also have a 4 year old who seems to be in the night terror stage.

We're both totally knackered!!