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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask about debt?

99 replies

rosie1979 · 04/03/2011 20:46

Basically I feel like we have a lot of debt.

We have a mortgage that is probably about 175k with (hopefully) the house being worth say 240

I have about 8k on personal debt, dp probably about 12k. It feels like so much of our income goes to paying it off, switching to 0% cards all the time ect.

Is this normal to exist like this? Most of the time I dont worry about it but then I start feeling worried about never clearing it.

OP posts:
MarianneM · 06/03/2011 17:25

Sure. But I thought there were grants to furnish your council flat?

expatinscotland · 06/03/2011 17:28

'But I thought there were grants to furnish your council flat?'

Nope. No. 1, they are not universal, you must qualify for them, too. No. 2, if you move in after all the grant money has been allocated for that fiscal year, that's you stuffed.

That's right up there with the belief that all HA/council tenants live rent-free, when in fact those who are working usually pay full rent and council tax.

valiumredhead · 06/03/2011 17:28

I agree - lots of flats come with NOTHING!

No debt here apart from £30,000 mortgage on our house which is worth about £250,000.

We had no mortgage at all up until 4 years ago - we had paid it off. Then we moved and mortgaged again to do the house up. Felt lovely being mortgage free and didn't like it particularly when we borrowed again.

expatinscotland · 06/03/2011 17:29

Our mate got £240 grant to 'redecorate'. Haahaaa. The place was full of damp. He had to use the money to get rid of it and buy a bed. We gave him a telly we had, some other stuff like shelving we didn't need and old curtains, towels, sheets.

kingprawntikka · 06/03/2011 17:44

We have a mortgage that is for about a quarter of the value of the house. We try and make additional payment on it most months. We do not have any other debts and I wouldn't feel comfortable if we did.

We are also believers in only buying if you can afford it and that is what I have tried to teach my children.

I do think there is a difference between want and need.
I could understand getting into debt for a new boiler if yours broke or a oven etc, but not for a holiday or new clothes for myself/husband . We enjoy things a lot more because we only buy what we can afford. We do not wish we hadn't spent the money or feel guilty. I'm not saying other people should . Its a personal choice.

IlsaLund · 06/03/2011 17:46

We are very lucky to have no debt.

I do think that some younger people (DH and I are in our 40s and 50s) are unprepared to wait for anything.
I'm not talking about essentials like cookers/fridges/cars but things like furniture and internal decor.
I'm sure the rise of programmes like Location Location and House Doctor has made it the norm for some people to feel they should live in a house with all matching furniture and perfect decoration

When we married every single piece of furniture we owned was second hand and non matching- lots of it was the casts offs of parents/friends. I can still see the orangey velour three piece suite with tassled trim!
We didn't have a kitchen table for about 2 years - we had a white plastic patio table that we bought in Woolies for a few pounds.

A colleague was recently complaining about being hugely in debt - she is in her very early 20s. She has spent thousands of pounds furnishing her house - I know (because she told me) that her bed linen cost her several hundred pounds - when I said she could have bought some nice duvet covers in Tesco she looked at me as if I was an idiot.

alemci · 06/03/2011 17:53

the only debt we have is our mortgage. we always overpay each month but means we have very little disposable income but the endowment policies are a bit unpredictable to say the least.

I hate having any sort of debt and although we use credit cards we always clear the balance.

some of our furniture is a bit crap. have a 60s bedroom stool recovered for instance and some of my parents cast offs.

did buy a lovely leather suite but i saved for it. also have an ercol table which was a kind donation.

mamatomany · 06/03/2011 18:01

I'm sure the rise of programmes like Location Location and House Doctor has made it the norm for some people to feel they should live in a house with all matching furniture and perfect decoration

It's not only that but you try selling your house without it !

Our sofa is tatty due to 4 kids and cats and the number of people that commented on it to the estate agents despite it having a throw on it too. I felt like putting a sign on it saying sofa not included, but apparently it's part of the lifestyle experience that they are buying when they buy your 4 walls. Idiots.

tothebottomoftheoceanfloor · 06/03/2011 18:19

I had a about £34k of debt until last year, partly due to legal/medical fees and having a very low income as a student/on benefits. If I'm honest with myself, I could have lived more frugally and stayed within my income. I didn't have to pay for things like day trips or swimming lessons for the kids. But the medical/legal situation was pretty unavoidable and it made up the bulk of the debt.

DH has never had any debt, he comes from a comfortable family and has always had a well-paid job since he graduated. We married last year and have joint finances now, so he's cleared the debt to avoid the interest charges, which is incredibly fortunate.

We don't have any debt now, although we're looking at buying a place soon so we'll have a mortgage. Ironically, the fact that DH never had any credit cards is making it hard to find a good deal, as he has virtually no credit record.

I honestly have no idea about the debt situation of my friends. It really isn't the sort of thing I'd discuss with them...and I'm not sure if I'd feel comfortable mentioning my finances to them either.

activate · 06/03/2011 20:14

no debt beyond mortgage

I don't understand how people end up with personal debt - apart from study loans

was brought up to believe if you can't afford it you can't have it

pay off personal debts as a matter of prioriity

lalalonglegs · 06/03/2011 21:00

I don't have any debts but was recently talking to a mortgage adviser about possibly mortgaging home - he had to go through a check list of outgoings including personal loans, car loans, student loans, credit cards, overdraft etc etc. It was no to all of them (I say this not to boast) and it was obvious that he was pretty surprised - he said it was very unusual for people not to have some personal debt so, in answer to your question OP, yes your level of debt does seem normal.

NorthernGobshite · 06/03/2011 21:10

£100k mortgage
£10 loans etc
dh has around £10k loans etc

expatinscotland · 06/03/2011 22:36

'I don't understand how people end up with personal debt - apart from study loans

was brought up to believe if you can't afford it you can't have it'

Nice you never had times in your life when you couldn't pay rent, were getting evicted or couldn't eat till you got paid and had no other means of getting money besides borrowing.

Hmm
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/03/2011 22:41

Yes we have debt, only a couple of K for each of us, DH is about 10K and i am about 4K maybe possibly.

We are getting a Debt Relief order this month mine is going through first and then DHs is. To clear all our debts.

Morloth · 07/03/2011 07:14

It is very expensive being poor.

I think Pratchett's boot analogy is spot on.

If you are rich you can afford to buy a good sturdy pair of boots for $50 that will last you 10 years, if you are poor you might only be able to afford a $10 pair of boots that are going to need to be replaced every year.

So over a ten year period the poor person spends twice as much on boots and still has wet feet.

It sucks. I grew up fairly poor and was broke throughout university etc I am so fucking glad I don't have to deal with all the extra pressure of being poor and having kids.

risingstar · 07/03/2011 08:08

we are, as of next month, paying off another one of our debts. and i am one of those ones that a few years ago merrily breezed into 2 cars loans, four grand on a holiday on a credit and all of that. spent more than we had, thought that tommorrow would always pay for it.

well, that lesson is well and truly learned the hard way. it is true though that if you really focus, and as you pay off one you transfer those payments onto the next one, rather than seeing it as more money you can start to get out of it.

the other thing is that we now have a week on the isle of wight. my older ones are teenagers and i have pointed out that in a few years they will have p/t jobs and be old enough to save and go abroad without us.

Bogeyface · 07/03/2011 09:03

Morloth, I have used the "Vimes Boots Theory of Socio-Economic Unfairness" myself. It is a good way of describing it isnt it?!

Morloth · 07/03/2011 09:10

Perfect, especially the wet feet bit.

Just sucks never being able to get even a little ahead.

Pagwatch · 07/03/2011 10:07

Yes. The boot analogy is excellent.

Now I have spare cash I can take advantage of discounts by buying when things are reduced and putting them away, buy in bulk to save, pay holiday deposits early to get discounts etc etc.
When it is hand to mouth you get fucked.
The pre-pay utilities rip offs are a huge example of that too. It stops people getting even a breathing space.

activate · 07/03/2011 17:18

quite right expactinscotland - I have never had that experience - I have always been solvent - and if we've had to live on potatoes and beans that what we did

all luck I suppose

and being brought up without a sense of entitlement by a family that will pitch in when times get tough

expatinscotland · 07/03/2011 17:51

'all luck I suppose'

It is. It's extremely good fortune to have even afforded the potatoes and beans at all without having to borrow to get it, and to be able to rely on family support in bad times. A further example of bad fortune would be being born an Untouchable in India or so desperately poor in China you endebt yourself to a gang to illegally traffick you into the West.

The assumption that everyone who's in debt is in that situation because they're less of a person than those who aren't and it's always due to a sense of entitlement is an utter fallacy, and a rather ignorant one as well.

naughtymummy · 08/03/2011 07:25

There is also the old adadge speculate to accumulate. I think it is naive in the extreme to live in the 21st century without a credit card. Last year dh and I put a brand new car on a zero % credit card. That way we got to take advantage of the govmts scrappage scheme, got a car with a 16K price tag for 9.5K. Also earnt enough reward points to get a free eurostar crossing :). If we had saved up we would still have a 10 year old car costin g a fortune to keep on the road and our new car would cost 5k more. Btw only 5k left on the credit card, have been paying off £500 per month, have paid no interest. To me it seems to be burying your head in the sand not to take advantage of these deals.

activate · 08/03/2011 14:28

taking advantage of credit is different from living in credit

MrsH75 · 08/03/2011 14:50

We'll have both paid off our credit cards this month.

Next on the list is to tackle the mortgage reserve - £15k- can maybe clear this in a year/18 months, and increase the amount we save at the same time.

Mortgage itself is £150k.

Mainly our personal debt comes from paying bills and regular outgoings while I went on maternity leave twice being the main wage earner.

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