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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

..to feel guilty and sorry for this girl...?

23 replies

nellynaemates · 04/03/2011 19:59

Was scribing an exam for girl (work in a school) today - long exam, lots of writing, she was struggling a bit. To cut a long story short on the last of 4 questions I realised she was cheating and had to confront her and I feel so bad. She's a nice girl and I'm supposed to be there to support her.

Although I know it was the right thing to do I still feel pretty awful.

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MaureenMLove · 04/03/2011 20:05

How was she cheating? You did the right thing btw and I understand how you must feel rotten about it though.

neighbourhoodwitch · 04/03/2011 20:08

IMO you did the tough, but right thing, for sure. It shows you care.

Having said that, I can understand you feeling 'awful,' (esp. as she is nice and this has clearly pushed you out of your comfort zone), but the right thing in this case means you helped her.

It may have been "easy" to have let it go, but it would have done her any favours. How would you feel now if you had turned a blind eye?

She has to learn a) about life - no room for cheating (and what is the point of cheating), and b) morally it was wrong.

I say well done you, although it was hard on your feelings. She will be a lesson about life due to you.

PonceyMcPonce · 04/03/2011 20:11

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working9while5 · 04/03/2011 20:12

She needed a scribe. You need to say more about why she needs a scribe. How did you know she was cheating?

nellynaemates · 04/03/2011 20:13

MaureenM - She had a pre-written essay on her phone and was reading it (had it hidden down the side of her leg).

Thanks neighbourhoodwitch, I do think I did the right thing and to be honest, I gave it quite a while before I confronted her (was trying to give her benefit of the doubt, hoping she'd memorised the essay or something).

I do feel sorry for her too, as I think she's somebody who has got the information in her head but just struggles to get it out.

All part of the job being horribly frustrated I guess!

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nellynaemates · 04/03/2011 20:14

I realised she was cheating because the fluency of her essay compared to her other answers. Don't need to say why she needed a scribe as wouldn't want to give any more identifying information. Suffice to say she is legally entitled to one due to SEN.

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PonceyMcPonce · 04/03/2011 20:15

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ashamedandconfused · 04/03/2011 20:17

surely they are not even allowed to take a phone in with them! to try that on when one-to-one with an adult is absolutely outrageous!

coastgirl · 04/03/2011 20:19

You absolutely did the right thing. Not to have reported it could have very very serious consequences for the centre.

PonceyMcPonce · 04/03/2011 20:19

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coastgirl · 04/03/2011 20:20

And they shouldn't even bring the phone into the exam room, let alone have it at the desk. You could be disqualified from all your exams for that.

nellynaemates · 04/03/2011 20:22

(should probably say it was a prelim so not external exam - no invigilator due to lack of resources.... putting all responsibility on me which is a bit stressful anyway!)

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PonceyMcPonce · 04/03/2011 20:26

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nellynaemates · 04/03/2011 20:29

To be honest I won't say I'm entirely happy with the arrangements! Can be pretty disorganised. Unfortunately I am but a minion with no control over arrangements. Just do what I'm told...

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PonceyMcPonce · 04/03/2011 20:32

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nellynaemates · 04/03/2011 20:39

External exams always have an invigilator, even if it's just one child in a tiny room with a scribe. Invigilation on prelims is a lot more ad hoc.

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Decentdragon · 04/03/2011 20:57

She's a nice girl and I'm supposed to be there to support her.

You have supported her, you've stopped her thinking she can do this for the exam, and getting caught and into far, far, more trouble than she's currently in.

You've also supported all SEN students who need scribes who face enough difficulties getting the arrangements needed, without it being made harder by students who think cheating's the answer, however nice they are. (and I don?t doubt she is).

PonceyMcPonce · 04/03/2011 20:58

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LargeGlassofRedPlease · 04/03/2011 21:03

of course you did the right thing and for her a lesson learned, hopefully.

MaureenMLove · 04/03/2011 21:03

Officially, there should be three of you in the room anyway. The student, the scribe and a person to see nothing untoward happens.

You must feel rotten. I hope there is no backlash from her or her mates on Monday. Ultimately, she was playing a very dangerous game though and she will have to deal with the consequences. Sad as it is, rules is rules.

muminthemiddle · 04/03/2011 21:18

YANBU.

MadamDeathstare · 04/03/2011 21:19

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mmsmum · 04/03/2011 21:54

YANBU to feel sorry for her

YABU to feel guilty

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