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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to consider organ donation?

113 replies

DrSeuss · 04/03/2011 10:05

In five days time, it will be twelve years since a dear friend received her new lungs. They were the gift of a family who had just lost their young son, Matthew, and are the only reason she is alive today. My friend, her family and any one who knows her will be eternally grateful for this gift, given at a time when they could have chosen to focus solely on themselves.

If you have not already done so, please consider carrying a donor card, putting your name on the Organ Donor Register and making your wishes known to your family.

www.uktransplant.org.uk/ukt/how_to_become_a_donor/how_to_become_a_donor.jsp

OP posts:
NearlySpring · 04/03/2011 20:10

Why LadyOfTheManor?

Would you watch your child die rather than let them recieve a donor organ?

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 04/03/2011 20:10

raspberryshake that's a lovely story. Smile

Original poster
DrSeuss · 04/03/2011 20:11

5, that must make you so proud and I hope that it gives you some comfort in your loss.

OP posts:
thefirstMrsDeVere · 04/03/2011 20:13

I have told this before but what the hey.....

My DD was 14 years old when I had to tell her that she wasnt going to get better, that she was going to die.

She asked me to ask the doctors if she could donate her organs so someone else could benefit. She was distressed when she was told no, because she had cancer.

She was FOURTEEN.

5inthebed · 04/03/2011 20:13

It makes me so proud of him DrSeuss. I can only hope I can help so menay people through my death as he did.

Original poster
DrSeuss · 04/03/2011 20:20

Again, Mrs D, you must be so proud to have brought up such a caring child.

OP posts:
BarnMummy · 04/03/2011 20:20

ThefirstMrsDeVere - you should be so proud of your daughter, how beautiful of her to think of others.

My father encouraged me to carry a donor card as a teenager, and I have been registered ever since. He was also a very regular blood donor, and I would very much like to do this too in his memory. However I am too small - at 5ft 1in, with a healthy BMI I am not allowed to donate, nor join the Anthony Nolan bone marrow register, which I would also like to do Sad

Well done DrSeuss on this thread.....

Original poster
DrSeuss · 04/03/2011 20:24

Thanks, but it seems to be attracting only those who are strongly in favour and want to say that they are already registered, which is great, or those strongly against. If you're in favour, please put the link out via email or FB and get others to register. We haven't had a new entrant since Barbie before lunch.

OP posts:
thefirstMrsDeVere · 04/03/2011 20:25

Not sure I can take any credit TBH. She was who she was.

I KNOW this isnt a thread for berating people and I am not going to do that. I just really do not understand those that refuse to do this. Its an privilege surely?

What better legacy could you leave on this earth?

thefirstMrsDeVere · 04/03/2011 20:28

Dont give up hope DrSeuss. I do two of these type of threads a year (birthday and anniversary) and I get a lot of people telling me they already give blood and a lot telling me they wish they could but they cant. I love to hear everyone's stories and it keeps the thread active.

But I always get at least one or two people who tell me they have decided to register there and then because of the thread, because of my DD.

It makes it all worthwhile.

Dont give up Smile

BigYellowFairy · 04/03/2011 20:28

I can't donate blood (transfusions) but I am on the organ donor register.

My daughter received 2 transplants (and subsequently died) but they gave her a fihting chance. Without them, she would never have had a chance.

I have seen cpountless children living because of someone's donated organs. t's amazing to see them on intensive care, at death's door, family gathered saying goodbye, then have a transplant and become a bright and happy child again running around the ward within a couple of weeks/months and going home.

I do feel however that more needs to be done to encourage new treatments because of the risks of transplantation, but still I'd rather give life than not.

I also advocate enforced choice when it comes to organ donation. I don't think it should be opt out, but I think it should be compulsory for all to choose either way, for example when applying for a passport or similar.

LadyOfTheManor · 04/03/2011 20:28

Nearly- I wasn't speaking for my child, I was speaking for myself. I would go ahead with a live transplant for my son, but I would not donate to strangers once I am dead. I, personally, wouldn't have a transplant.

startofnewterm · 04/03/2011 20:36

Lady - so if you were seriously ill and facing the prospect of dying, seeing how upset your children were at the prospect of losing you, and you are offered a transplant which could then possibly give you a reasonably normal life, that you would refuse it??

BigYellowFairy · 04/03/2011 20:37

I've seen children go from death's door on life support to receiving a donor organ, and then becoming a running, laughing, playing, smiling happy child again. It's amazing to see young children go from death to a bouncy almost-normal child with a donor organ. Many transplants go well, some do not. It's a very risky business and as I said I think more focus needs to move to new treatments. However many many lives are saved by transplantion. On balance I cannot think of a better final act on earth than to give life.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 04/03/2011 20:38

BarnMummy I didn't realise you couldn't donate if you were under a certain height. I'm also 5'1" and have given blood twice in the past - both times I passed out during the donation and have been told I can't donate as my body can't cope with losing the blood, but it was never mentioned about my height. I can't donate now anyway due to my kidney condition and medication. Sad

BigYellowFairy · 04/03/2011 20:39

I think everyone should be respectful of one another's opinions as they are often based on personal experiences. That's why enforced choice would be a great leglislative move, giving people the chance to think about it, making them think about it and decide. Many many millions of people would opt in, and some would be reassured by their decision to opt out.

startofnewterm · 04/03/2011 20:39

And, you are willing to accept an organ for your child but would not donate. Yet some heartbroken parent has had the strength to donate their childs organ to give another child (possibly yours) a chance at living.

I'm not saying you should have to donate, or your child should. But I believe that if you are willing to receive you should be willing to give, even if that applies to your child.

My dd will need a heart transplant in the future and I truly hope that there are still people brave enough to donate when the time comes. Myself, DH and all our children are donors.

northerngirl41 · 04/03/2011 21:03

And please also make sure your family know of your desire to help someone live after you die. A family member of mine was in a position to give the gift of life but since he and his wife had never discussed it she wasn't sure what to do, despite him having a donor card on him. She didn't like the idea, so she vetoed it. Family members still have the last word, so make sure you tell them the plan!!!

My DH is a bit anti it but he knows I would come back and haunt him continuously if he didn't donate my organs. Think he's got the message now.

Abcinthia · 04/03/2011 21:23

I have been an organ donor since I was 18. Me signing up to do it encouraged DP to do the same.

Timbachick · 04/03/2011 21:29

I am already on the register. I firmly believe in it and spread the word as often as I can.

I also donate blood.

Personally I think you should have to 'opt out', not opt in. And that goes for blood donation too.

MrsChemist · 04/03/2011 21:43

I unfortunately can't give blood, so can't go on the bone marrow register. My BMI is too low.
I did sign up on the organ donor register though, because of one of these threads.

DH hasn't, but keeps meaning to. I'll bug him about it.

GilmoreGeek · 04/03/2011 21:49

I am a student in the UK and was refused to sign up to the bone marrow donation. Although I am having a long term partner here and my life plan does not involve going back to my native country I was told I simply couldn't, because my address in the UK isn't steady enough and my family doesn't live here... so quite ridiculous as I feel very passionate about it and would inform them if I would move.

Does anyone know whether I am allowed to do the organ donation?

ReindeerBollocks · 04/03/2011 23:40

I am donating a kidney to DH in a couple of weeks! So nervous and this is a very real issue for us right now. He was waiting a long time for a kidney and has been on dialysis for a fair few years now. A previous poster was right when they said it is existing, but not really living.

I am on the organ donation register and have persuaded a fair few people to join too. I cannot donate blood as I'm too light, but have seen threads where blood platelets and bone marrow can be donated. Our current transplant team have asked me to wait a year post op before I undertake either of these.

Whilst I agree that most people on here already have made their minds up, I think bumping these threads and telling real life situations may help those who are undecided. Keeping threads like these current does help rather than detract from the main issue.

noddyholder · 04/03/2011 23:58

Reindeer that is amazing good luck it is a great thing to do your lives will be transformed xx

ReindeerBollocks · 05/03/2011 00:06

Thanks Noddy - fingers crossed it goes well. I'm nervous but massively excited to have a potentially well DH.

We are hoping to plan our first real family holiday this summer, providing everything goes to plan. Will be nice not to be tied to a hospital all the time (for DH).

I hope your kidneys are doing well too - dialysis is amazing at keeping people going, but it has such a big effect on his life, and subsequently ours too. I'd back any campaign that enabled people to have transplants rather than need regular dialysis.

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