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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

what would you do?

13 replies

relish3 · 02/03/2011 21:11

My DS has CP and ever since i had him, he has not left my side, i want the best for him.DS social worker contacted us and said she would want us to consider allowing our Son to go for a 6 days trip to cardiff during the summer break..so we can have a bit of rest and reassured us he will be well cared for and it is designed for children with special needs and it is a good experience..my DP is ok with it, but as a mother am finding it difficult to let go...am i being unreasonable..please i need advice..

OP posts:
twinkytonk · 02/03/2011 21:15

I don't know what I would do tbh. If you don't have respite for him anyway and he has never left your side then it will be hard for you to think of him going away. On the other hand the break would do you the world of good, it's hard work (although rewarding) looking after a SN child.
Do you have a decent amount of time to think about it?

cheekeymonkey · 02/03/2011 21:24

You know what, I would ask if it would be possible to talk to any of the other parents that allow their child to go under the same circumstances. You probably really need a break and it could be that its really good for him too. Maybe one of the other parents could give you a more considered opion?

cestlavielife · 02/03/2011 21:24

how old is he?
does he go to shool without you?

does he go to any other place/person other than school?
can he do a 24 hour away from you with someone first?

it's ahrd the first time but good for him and good for you.

think of him - he needs those life experiences and he will benefit so much from the trip

Original poster
relish3 · 02/03/2011 21:26

Hello twinkyi can't say i have a decent amount of time, as my DS social worker will be coming to the house on monday to discuss and i don't know if i will have an answer to give...The only time am apart from my son is when he goes to school, and the thought of him being away from me for up to a week, makes me really worry...

OP posts:
Original poster
relish3 · 02/03/2011 21:32

Hi cestlavielife..my DS is 5+, yes he goes to school without me,the schoolbus picks him up from the house and brings him back.He goes to after school play one day in the week and sometimes on excursions with other children....
TBH i really do not have anyone i can trust to take care of my son...

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 02/03/2011 21:32

You are not being unreasonable in your worries about it. It's scary letting them go for the first time. But it's in the Summer so you have time to look it into more. Where they are staying, what they'll be doing, who will be with them. How many going? Try to not let your fears stop your son experiencing new and fun things and hopefully your research will show it's well organised and ideal for your boy.

EcoLady · 02/03/2011 21:34

Can they offer an overnight or weekend first? A week does seem a lot for the first time away from home & family for any child regardless of health needs.

Hassled · 02/03/2011 21:37

I think loads of us would struggle with being away from a 5 year old for a week, regardless of issues like CP. See if the SW can offer a weekend or something first - build up gradually. Don't feel bullied into agreeing.

PaisleyLeaf · 02/03/2011 21:44

You don't have to go along with it.
I wouldn't want my 6 year old away for 6 days either.
Maybe a shorter break or another time when he's a bit older and you'll appreciate and benefit from the respite more because you won't be worrying so much.

Pancakeflipper · 02/03/2011 22:51

5 yrs old. Sorry I thought we were talking older. I'm not sure if I'd let my 5 yr old go for that long.

pinkstarlight · 03/03/2011 00:40

i think 6 days is to long to be seperated for the first time for both you and your son,is there any way you could start off with a nights break then a weekend.

lovenamechange100 · 03/03/2011 01:35

OMG relish my DS is 5 and there is no way i would want to be away from him for that long. The longest has been two nights but he was in his own home with DH while I was away.

Do you feel you need a rest for this long? I dont know the details of care and your daily demands but they still very tiny at 5! My DS still plays peek aboo in the mornings when have cuddles in bed! No way.

Morloth · 03/03/2011 01:53

I don't think I would let my 5 year old go away for a week with school or anything like that (grandparents/family are different) regardless of any SN.

I think about 8ish is when I will be happy with that, which is luckily when the schools here have their first trips away.

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