to expect to be treated with patience and fairness in a new job

[lololizzy]

Having been laid off full time work last year, have had a huge confidence knock and only been working part time since then (not by choice)..it has taken me all this time to find a new job and i couldn't wait to get started.
This particular company pride themselves on being caring, supportive, a happy place to work etc. This was one of the reasons i wanted to work there as it's not been easy the last year or so, for various reasons.
However..I have started training and the trainer is a complete bully and the most impatient person i've ever met. I am training with one other person so at least it's not one to one.
Myself and the other trainee do have a lot of experience in this line of work but also there is an awful lot to learn about how this particular company do things..hence the training, which i was looking forward to as in the past thrown in at the deep end with too many positions. So we have come into it really to all extents, newcomers and open to starting afresh.
This trainer has told us she hates training and boasted of rows she has with colleagues. She contradicts herself saying she will only explain something once (even if it involves, for eg, lengthy numerical procedures) but then later says 'you won't learn all this until you've had months on the job'. We have noticed she deliberately sets us up to make mistakes.. if this was to deliberately HELP us ie learn from mistakes, fair enough but it is to belittle us. She does it as a power trip so she can criticise. She makes huge mistakes herself but being new we keep our mouths shut. Some though, she's blamed us for!
When the other trainee made a genuinely easy to make error, the trainer stormed off and we were left in a mess and made to look humiliated as without her we could not sort it out. Customers witnessed this. When she came back ages later she said 'i walked off as you had not listened to me'. Yes we had..we just can't take everything in all at once..it is only our second day, training is for two weeks! (is this an example of passive aggressive behaviour..her walking off i mean?)
We are scared to ask her for help. So far we've tried to shrug it off and smile and put a brave face on when she is nasty but i feel like leaving and i know the other woman does.
We can't go to HR as she's friendly with the HR woman. We know when complaints have been made (not by trainees as far as we know..but we do know many left in the training stage! she admitted this) but by staff, and the complaints were apparently 'thrown out'. Also how can newcomers on a probation period, make a complaint about a manager/ trainer's attitude?
She has also accused me of ridiculous things, which is upsetting as i am new and can't prove anything although i know she is lying.
I don't want to quit, i so wanted this job but i am a bag of nerves. I know i won't be working with her after the training and so should grit my teeth and carry on. My confidence is knocked only two days in. I know if she is like this tomorrow i will however want to leave and not go back.
The ironic thing is that the manual says to welcome newcomers!
I have been bullied badly in the past and ironically also getting harrassment from a neighbour at the moment. The neighbour is a bit mentally ill (another neighbour has had to get a harrassment order out against her) and i am beginning to think this trainer is too. It's like I'm a magnet or something!
The other trainee says she does not need to work (ie financially), merely wants to so it wouldn't be skin of her nose to just quit the training. I however do need to work.
It has taken me so long and i can't believe this is happening two days in!

I think if i reported her, it would be ignored as money wise she's doing well for the company and that's all they care about despite their caring image

yes ,i know that money is what business is all about. But this is also a charity, and promotion and raising awareness is meant to be just as important to them. They apparently have an anti bullying and harrassment policy, but i can find no evidence of this. Obviously can't ask her!

She's showing vulnerability to you the whole time by acting this way - a strong, secure person wouldn't need or want to treat people this way.

I also wouldn't worry about being late, you know the reasons, they sound unavoidable but her behaviour is making you question yourself.

Seriously, its head down time, do whatever it takes to get through the two weeks, then I'm certain you'll hear stories from others who've been through the 'nightmare' training!

And yes you can borrow my ironwill, and on the last day of training you can triumphantly hand it back to me ( I may whip it back off you super quick as I kinda need it myself

Soon, soon, soon....

Enjoy your weekend, remember what it feels like to be competent, and focus on the end, which has come into view....

well, i am there tomorrow. But she is not..but she says she is checking everything i've done on Monday, and telling her assistant manager to make me do all the difficult stuff tomorrow..on my own! no doubt she'll gloat over the mistakes come Monday..she has not trained me. Really..she is as incompetent and messed up as they come...

How did it go yesterday?

You're probably dreading tomorrow! Just count the days down now - you're nearly there!

i feel sick at the thought of tomorrow. And i really enjoyed yesterday as she was off! You would not believe it was the same place. Everyone acted like they were different people.
I have..in theory..five days left..however as she has gleefully pointed out, only she can pass me through the training...if she does not , i have to go back for....gulp..another three days! so keep all fingers and toes crossed for me please!!

Well, everything is crossed for you! But I don't think you need it! You're going to do it - start thinking of all the positive aspects of the job after the training because in no time you'll be there!
And if the worst comes to the worst, it's only three extra days of the bully, she has to live with herself for the rest of her life - you're getting off lightly! Sending strength for tomorrow - check in and I'll count the days down with you.

Hey lizzy, so you're halfway there. Do keep on thinking positive, taking notes, etc.

The idea of her insecurity is also interesting. You know what would be evil? I mean, not suggesting you do should do this!!

On Monday, say, 'So I ran into MrsInterviewer who rang you the other day. She was asking how I like training. I was saying it was .......

nice.'

Or, if/ when she does pass you, say, totally deadpan,

'Oh just wonder if you could tell me: does the company have a bullying policy?'

Refuse to explain why you want to know, but just smile a little.

thanks everyone!

lolo, just hang in there. Agree that the best policy at this stage is to keep your head down, and get through this training period.

Record everything as other posters advised. Even if you don't use it, it will give you a sense of power over her.

Is there any way you can gain more visibility with the area manager? Impress the area manager and get on her good books. That would greatly help your credibility if you do later make a complaint.

Don't trust HR, unless you are very sure they are on your side. Their first loyalty is to the company. Ideally, make sure you have your supporters at the company first in terms of senior people. That means staying on long enough to have proven yourself to be an asset.

At least you are in the same boat as the other trainee. You can give each other moral support in the meantime.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

To add to the cliches, if you have her a long enough rope, she might even hang herself.

Good luck tomorrow!

All crossed here for you!

lololizzy you can get phone advice from ACAS or...just happen to drop into the conversation (in her earshot) that you're sooo glad you belong in a union because they have helped you in the passed ...even bullying bitches trainers are afraid of employees who speak to unions x

Lololizzy, you'll probably be given an assessment form for completion about how you felt your training went, what you think could have been done better, etc.

So that'll be something to look forward to! However, I would be inclined to stick to positive suggestions on how she could improve the teaching, rather than slagging off her nasty nature at this stage. For example, you could say that you would have welcomed

*more time to reflect on the correct answers
*more opportunities to ask questions
*increased support before being left alone with customers
*greater tolerance of travel difficulties as you struggled with the location of the training office

They will get the message from this, and will ask you for examples if they are worried.

Don't forget to mention any little thing that you think was good, either. You don't want to come across as utterly pissed off with the entire company. For example, under 'What went well?' you could say 'I was very excited by the idea that I would be provided with a formal, professional training', like you said in your post above. You can still praise the company, whilst omitting any praise for your tormentor.

I recommend this as you are new, and once you are out of her clutches, will want to create a positive impression of your own, as a reasonable, constructive employee, with your new line manager.

Once you have the line manager's trust and confidence, you can confide to her about the bullying when you first joined.

Meanwhile, you and the other trainee need to support each other for only a few more days now, and hopefully you will never have to see her again.