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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect some sort of acknowledgement for my Mum ?

15 replies

Mafrac · 02/03/2011 20:15

My Mum has just been made redundant from Big Company after 40 years of service.

She had to call in to HQ to collect her final cheque and had suspected that the come in and collect your cheque might be a ruse to get her in for some sort of little "do".

The cheque was left at reception for her to collect and sign for.

I think she was hurt by this although she is a tough old boot and wouldn't admit it but I am devastated for her really.

She didn't want to leave work and while she loves all her grandchildren, she's not that type of Nan if that makes sense. She is only 59 and was all about work and her career and the lifestyle that went with it.

I know if companies have to downsize or whatever there may not have been money there for a party but after 40 years I think at least someone could have been there to say appreciate the length of time you have been with us etc etc.

Anyway, she is coming to visit her soon so I suppose in addition to asking AIBU, I am hunting for tips on any little sentiment I might put in a card for her ? Or gift ideas

^^is my first post on Mumsnet and I know it is a bit of a trivial matter but I looking for some input on this and hope it is OK to lump the two questions in together.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 02/03/2011 20:16

Actualy I don't

Some nice words in a card costs nothing

Or a tenner on a bunch of flowers

If management wouldn't, then as a colleague I wouldn't have been able to let her go without nothing

rubyslippers · 02/03/2011 20:16

I don't think YABU

sharbie · 02/03/2011 20:18

its sad but it was the same at the big co that i worked.we had long service awards to mark the numbers of years served but when you left unless there was a dept outing organised there was no leaving do.esp if there were lots of staff going at same time.

Prolesworth · 02/03/2011 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PaisleyLeaf · 02/03/2011 20:19

I would expect her colleagues to maybe make a bit of a fuss of her and maybe organise a night out with her/do a collection - the people/friends she works with day-to-day.
At my place the person often organises something themselves or brings in cakes.

eaglewings · 02/03/2011 20:20

Sad to hear she was treated so badly.

How about giving her a token for something like a hair cut to show her that you still see her as a person who likes to take care of herslf and is not going to sink into old age?

Ballarat · 02/03/2011 20:20

MN isn't the Dr surgery! You're allowed to ask about more than one thing! Wink

Firstly, welcome to MN. Secondly, I'm sorry to hear your DM has been made redundant. In your position, I would email the company and say that after 40yrs of loyal service you are appalled that they didn't make any sort of gesture for long service. If you word it in such a way as to say you understand that cuts need to be made but surely this was an oversight etc...

I'm not sure what type of industry she was in but maybe something related to that. Or, something that symbolises her new life to come such as a day at a spa, midweek when she would otherwise have been working.

PaisleyLeaf · 02/03/2011 20:26

I wonder as well if, as it was a redundancy, the company were a bit sorry about it rather than seeing it as an 'off to pastures new' sort of celebratory occasion.

GrendelsMum · 02/03/2011 20:28

I wonder if PaisleyLeaf's right? They felt a bit sorry about it, rather than seeing it as a celebration?

I do agree it's a pretty poor show.

awubble · 02/03/2011 20:34

After 40 years ! That's effin terrible. No idea what advice to offer because you can't replace the thanks they should have shown.

Name and shame them please !

sharbie · 02/03/2011 20:35

oh that reminds me too - i think its thought of as a bit of a sensitive time and i know some people can be v angry about leaving.best for company to keep it low key - some staff escorted from premises too.feelings run high obv at this time.

latermater · 02/03/2011 20:41

YANBU - I second the email idea if you have a colleague/manager's name you could send one to (and in the same vein as recommended above - it seems a shame it was not marked even in a modest way, 40 years is an awaful lot of loyal service, they will understand that although your mother would not mention it, it is a disappointemnt etc etc). However, don't bother just trying a random person in the HR department if it is a big company: I know from experience that way madness lies. After 40 years of service - in any capacity, and whatever the circs of leaving - that should be recognised in some form. I salute her myself!

bamboostalks · 02/03/2011 20:43

Definitely email them. That is a disgrace.

Edinburghlass · 02/03/2011 21:02

Very sad for your mother. Redundancy is totally different from leaving voluntarily. Awkward and horrible for everyone. Whole bunch of us were made redundant last year and there was no acknowledgement or thank you at all from the firm. Perhaps you could get in touch with one of her friends from the company to try to organise a lunch or leaving drinks with some of her friends. However I'd be wary of organising it as a surprise as your mother may feel betrayed by friends / colleagues who didn't get in touch or make a fuss of her when she left. I'd suggest you encourage your Mum to think of it as her idea to meet up with them to catch up. If it would help, you could offer to go with her for moral support, if necessary pretending that you'd love to meet / catch up with some of her old buddies from work. Don't worry if she doesn't seem keen on the idea. I'm sure she'd still think it was nice you cared enough to suggest it.

Original poster
Mafrac · 03/03/2011 19:33

Thanks for all the input; I'm going to bring her to a local hotel for the afternoon tea that she loves there during the week and bring DD along too, it is a treat we usually only do on her birthday so hopefully it will put a smile on her face.

@PaisleyLeaf - I never thought about it that way. The company would have been very aware she did not want to take redundancy.

@Edinburghlass - I will encourage her to organise a meet up with some of her ex work cronies and putting it to her like that would do the trick. she would do me an injury if I contacted them to arrange anything for her or let on that she was in any way put out by the lack of fuss and hoopla on her last day.

Thanks again to all who replied

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