leaving 13yr old in charge

[soggy14]

of her 3 siblings - youngest nearly 2 - for just over 3 hours whilst parents are over an hour away? Is this reasonable? (Genuine question - mine are all smaller so have no expereince of 13yr olds)

I think if it were one child and the 13 year old was mature then I'd say ok. It feels like looking after three siblings is a lot to ask at this age though - in fact I think I'd be phased by it and I'm 35!

I meant fazed. D'oh.

Depends on the kids. I'd do it with my 13 year old, AS LONG AS she was happy to do it.

My mum was just about bringing up her younger siblings at 13, to the point where the youngest regularly called her "mum" by mistake

I think that's pushing it, and I'm at the lax end of the spectrum. There's lots of variables, though:

Leaving a 13yo in charge of a sleeping 2yo for a short period (possibly up to an hour) is reasonable, assuming the 13yo is sensible and the 2yo is a reliable sleeper.

Leaving the 13yo in charge of sleeping 2yo while parents are next door or a few doors down is reasonable for slightly longer periods, as long as the parents can be easily reached.

Leaving a 13yo in charge of an awake 2yo is really only reasonable for fairly short stretches, eg for 10 mins while you pop to the shops. Even a sensible 13yo doesn't really have the experience or concentration to anticipate everything that might happen, or the ability to deal with an emergency.

Particularly if the parents are an hour away, I think it's a bit dodgy at best, dangerous at worst.

theres lots of factors to take into consideration here though, like how old are the other siblings? one of them could be 12 for all we know, also is there a friend of the family close by that she could ask for help if needed etc.

Im sure she at least has a phone and a number she could ring if she needed to......

I was baby sitting two young girls and a newborn at 12 and i was fine.

I'd say No way!

Is there anyone else nearby in case of emergency? I'd say OK to leave them if the 13 year old is mature but help would need to be closer than an hour away.

no

fine to leave a 13yr alone but not fair on that child to have the responsibilty of her siblings and esp as parents over an hour away

but even if parents were 5mins away i would say no

Every child is different. Although two children are the same age they can in reality be years apart.

Id say no.
My sister asked my 13yr old DS to sleepover one night. She was going out on the piss and DS could keep her hubby company on the PS3 etc

Unknown to me, it was really because sister wanted her hubby to pick her up at about midnight and there was noone to look after her (sleeping) 2yr old DD.

DS was only left in charge for about 25 mins, but I was unhappy with this. For starters, I wasn't told/ Secondly, my niece gets out of bed regularly and I don't think my son should be in charge of her.

When I challenged my sister, I was told to 'get a grip' and she had a word with my DS for telling me he had babysat

Wasn't there a woman who was cautioned when she left her 15 year old in charge of his 3yo brother for 30 minutes.

Wouldn't risk it. It does very much depend on the child but personally the possibility of getting arrested for this would make it a no-no to me, especially giving the time that the parents would be away in the OP's example.

I think it's up to the parents and the 13 year old whether she feels able to do it. If they are all happy then fair enough. When my mum was 8 she was regularly left in charge of her 2 year old brother. At 13 I was very sensible and good with kids and would have been able to do it. Other 13 year olds are still quite child like and wouldn't be able to cope with being responsible for younger children. Really it's not the toddler who would be the real problem - if s/he does something wrong the 13 year old could pick him or her up to remove from the situation. The problem would be with the slightly older ones. Do they understand she is in charge, and will they listen to what she says, not run away if she tells them off for example? If they can be trusted to behave for her then fair enough.

Its the parents choice.

You really can't say-it is like 'how long is a piece of string'!
It depends:

1. is the 13yr old happy?

2.has she done it before when they were nearer?

1. do the others do as they are told?
2. do they fight?
3. are they all sensible?
4. do they have neighbours to call on in an emergency?

If there is a positive answer to all, especially no.6, then yes.

I think it really depends on so many different factors, including the maturity of the 13 year old in question, whether they have looked after their siblings before and are competant to do so, whether they know what to do in an emergency and if there is a neighbour or adult family friend nearby they can call upon in an emergency to name a few.

I would have allowed my son to babysit his siblings at 13, but I wouldn't leave my DC with my now 18 year old step daughter, as I don't feel she could cope or is mature enough.

It was really common for 13 year olds to babysit for people when I was 13 but I do think in general cildren are given less responsibility these days and therefore less mature sometimes as a result.

As others have said, all depends, and I am also on the lax side but... 2 years old is pushing it. I think it unfair on the 13 year old to have responsibility for a toddler - theyy are completely unpredictable. Today, for instance saw a friend's three year old, normally well-behaved child, have a screaming fit, rolling on the floor, uncontrollable tantrum completely out of the blue and for no known reason. If my 13 year old had been theri he would be been beyond anxious, even tho' he is a sensible person - he is still a child himself.

No.

These are not the 13 yo's children they are your children and your responsibility. Besides, 13 is far too young to be responsible for a child as young as 2 years old.

If, heaven forbid, something went wrong your 13 yo would never forgive herself... and you might not either.

At least, that's the way I see it.

At 13 I was looking after my 4, 2 and 6 month old siblings suppose it depends on situation. My situation was not ideal so wouldn't recomment it at all but without further knowledge eg age of other siblings apart from 2 year old and reason eg parent having to work or important hospital appointment etc then we can not make a judgement on this.

Having said that we allowed 13 year old dss take ds when he was 3 to the park 2 roads down from us for an hour on his own. But dss was a well accomplished big brother of 4 by then :)

Article in The Times today about how we mollycoddle our kids and don't give them responsibility. Have left mine alone when dd (very bright and capable and happy to do it) was 13. May be different as others are not that much younger. Would trust her at that age more than the in laws - I know my children though and have brought them up to be responsible and independent. Dd1 now 17 - I know kids her age who can't boil a kettle. She's travelled independently to Africa.

Guidelines state (up here in Scotland anyway) that no child under 16 should be left in charge of children under 14. It's not law as such but there would be a risk of charges of negligence if something untoward happened.
People do it though.
I wouldn't leave a 13 year old in charge of 3 younger siblings and particularly if one is only a 2-year old.

I can't see how guidelines are much help. In one set of circumstances, with one set of DCs, you would do it and with another you wouldn't. You should use your own judgement and not rely on someone else's guidelines.

I certainly left my 15yr old in charge of siblings-you can't get a babysitter for a 15yr old-they would be too embarrassed! (he had people to call on and I had a mobile) I can't think that anyone would want to babysit a 15yr old-unless family.