to be completely outraged by baby classes?

[FruitSaladIsNotPudding]

Actually, I know the answer, I am not being unreasonable, but I want to know if others feel the same.

I live in an area of London which is crammed with young families, and it's quite affluent, so I suppose I should expect a lot of companies to be cashing in on that, but I am becoming increasingly irritated by the number/price of baby classes round here.

Baby signing, baby sensory, baby gym blah blah blah. All offering a free first session followed by a terms worth of classes at about £10 a pop.

And what pisses me off the most is parents who blither on about this courses and all the essential stuff their babies have learnt at them. 'Oh yes, little emily learnt to crawl at baby gym.' Right.

I refuse to do any of it, it's totally unnecessary. But I have had people implying my daughter will be missing out because of it.

I'm not articulating very well why I dislike them so much to be honest. I think it's to do with the fact that I think babies need to explore in their own time more than they need set activites.

Of course, loads of parents just go to these classes for the social element for themselves, and I have no issue with that. But some seem to view them as essential, and I find that depressing.

Can anyone more articulate help me out here?

I am going to take my parents to court because they never took me to any of these classes and I have now got major problems in my life.
I can't walk because I never went to gym, I can't talk as I never went to signing classes, i can't relax as they never learnt massage
Forget the fact that they fed clothed and loved me all those years.
It basically comes down to what the parent gets out of these classes and if they think the money is worth it.
Check the local Church for a cheaper toddler group if you want to make friends without the cost
Or just meet with friends at their home or start a group in your own home even
But do not let these Mum's get you down by saying you are failing your child, it's just not true

"Outraged" seems a bit strong, but YANBU to recognise that many of these classes are cash-cows (£10 a pop!!!!!) and that babies are fine without them.

I'm in SW London and feel exactly the same about baby classes. It's like people start feeling that they are somehow failing their children if they don't fork out all this cash for classes and it's really a big con. I see that the social aspect is important for people who feel isolated at home with a small child, but that's easily achieved with your standard baby/toddler group, a cup of coffee and a plate of biscuits. Our nearest toddler group charges £2 per family, which seems about right to me.

Don't go to them, and don't socialise with dimwits who think your baby is missing out due to lack of watching play with baby toys. That solves your problem.

OTOH your stance of believing that babies need to explore in their own time rather than do set activities is just as absurd. Classes don't either help (unless baby signing) or hinder babies, but they are fine to do if the parent wants to. Why would you care what other people do and spend their money on?

Watching their mothers play, that should have read.

I think it takes the pressure off people who aren't natural mixers to get talking to and join in baby groups which must be beneficial to both mum and baby.
I will when my little boy reaches 12 months start a couple of the swimming, tumble tots, music type groups but I don't see the point before then.

Hmm, I too think baby signing is fantastic but never went to an expensive class. I bought a £5 book off amazon on it and just used the ones that were useful. I don't see how being able to sign complete songs is of any use to babies. It is to help them communicate with you not show off. I taught mine the signs for 'drink, food, help, more' I did include a few fun ones like duck and rain and fish but just them being able to tell me what they needed was so useful for all of us. They spoke really early, though that may be a total coincidence.

I personally think baby classes are a waste of money and cash in on new mothers enthusiasm for their new role. What I find strange is their is far less on for kids aged 2-3 (who are far more likely to get something out of it) because by then the novelty seems to have worn off.

Sorry 'there' (typing on my phone!) :)

Oh just go to starbucks and spend the same money having coffee and cake much more stimulating for the baby

When my daughter was a baby/toddler she had to come with me to the yard every day as I had 2 horses and had no time to drag her to all these things.
She is now a very intelligent, well adjusted 7 year old that makes friends very easily.

However I don't have horses any more and am pregnant with my 2nd child at the moment so I might take her to a lot more stuff, will see how I feel.

Sorry for not replying - I was at a music group (free library one) funnily enough! So I am not against all baby activites.

Outrage is a strong word, but I stand by it. As backward said, I am mostly outraged that anyone could think I am actually harming my daughter's development. One woman told me the library groups were all very well, but the babies didn't get to build on what they learnt each session. Our children must have been all of 5mo at the time.

I've also had people make comments about the fact she doesn't go to nursery and all the things she is missing out on because of that. She is now 12mo.

And I find the prices pretty grim too, and the fact that there is a whole industry which has sprung up around baby rearing.

I don't mind the activities as such OP, it's the fact that all the babies arrive in bugaboos, and, I find that the wealthier the parents, the more unfriendly they seem to be. My ds went to nursery in an affluent area for a bit and the mothers were unbelievably unfriendly. When I started basing everying round where I live and my subsequent dd1 and dd2 went to the nursery of our local primary school (where they are now), things started to look up and I made friends.
It is possible to find cheaper activities though, that aren't as glossily packaged but equally good. Before my youngest dd went to nursery I took her to a singing group run by this amazing bloke - it must have cost about 2 or 3 pounds, can't remember, and she got the opportunity to dance, play with the parachute, have bubbles blown over her etc.... That was in my local health centre.

I did some baby signing at home with my first, but it's been much better IME going to classes. I'm not bothered about nursery rhymes either (we do them at home) - this was an intense course to teach the useful stuff, and it's been much more motivating. I actually leave DS at home. The teacher is great too, if there's any that aren't in the course he'll look them up for us so what I've learnt is more tailored to DS IYSWIM.

Some classes are a total waste of money, I looked into a music class where the teacher very proudly said that the second half is free play and chatting WTF?!? Why would I pay for an hour when we only get half of that as an actual lesson?

Still... I really do not see the need for 'outrage' - if other people want to go then why shouldn't they!

really if you are outraged by this, you need to stay away from anything actually important lest you are consumed by a fireball of apoplexy and expire. You know, like getting the wrong biscuit with your tea.

I am in SE London LLKH.

It's crap. The accessorising of parenthood is one of my bugbears. It is no longer enough to provide clothes, food, and love for a baby. You need to have a million and one objects for them - all have to be the correct brand, colour and fucking price!

These courses sound like more of the same.

I can also rant at length about the accessorising of many other areas of life In case you are interested......

Good grief, they have a go at you because your DD is not in nursery... Well they are twats. Ignore ignore ignore!

Ha! I'm quite a laid back person normally, honestly. I really don't think I am articulating this very well.

That's it Ormirian, it feels like everything is commodified ( is that a word??).

No one has had a go at me about nursery. Just talked in a concerned fashion about the need for babies to be 'socialised' and 'stimulated'. And to do crafts. I kid you not.

Sounds like you need some new friends TBH!

Possibly. Although most of the annoying comments have been from acquaintances rather than friends. It does seem to be a bit of a prevailing attitude around here. Maybe I need to move??

just seen the thing about nursery. I had someone say something similar to me when DS2 was about 4 months old. I made the point that as I was planning to go back to work, he would get plenty of time at nursery later, and I wanted to enjoy the time I had with him while I could. But, hey, only about 2% (guessing) of the other mothers round here work, so she didn't really get the idea of working for a living either.

Sounds like a particularly insecure bunch of mothers round your way, uncertain of their ability to stimulate their own babies in their own home. Mine have both loved watching me pottering about, and then helping with things once they could.

Ah. Well in that case Backwardpossom it's entirely possible people would think the same of me (because I've stopped going to Music Bugs since we can no longer fit in the free sessions at the Sure Start centre, and can't afford to pay £7.50 a week). Fortunately I don't really give a crap about what anyone else thinks of my parenting skills!

Or go out of your way to try and mix with second/third/fourth time mums? They won't be at the baby classes because you can't control two fighting toddler and "stimulate a baby to learn new experiences" at the same time !

Actually, I do have a good friend who is a 3rd time mum, and I find it really refreshing to be with her. She is pretty scathing about this sort of thing too.