to ask you to list your "pros and cons" of having 3 kids?

[RueLaChesty]

now, i should start by saying that i don't believe there can ever be cons in having kids, i'd have hundreds of babies and just let them sleep in drawers if i could :D

By cons i mean factors to consider like bigger car and not being able to take 3 kids swimming.

I am just looking for a light hearted thread that might help DP and I decide to stop with 2 or have a 3rd.

I have contraception issues in that most don't agree with me in one way or another so am getting the coil again next week but we're not totally convinced that i didn't fall pregnant on the coil last time so DP keeps toying with the idea of the big snip but i just don't want to go that final!

So what do you guys think, pros and cons?

Can I ask, does everyone with 3 children have a 7 seater or do some manage with a larger 5 seater car, like a Mondeo? We are currently expecting dc3 and I did want a 7 seater (still do) but finances are tight so we are looking at wider cars such as the Mondeo and reckon that we could fit 3 seats in the back.
For the person who asked how another poster had convinced their dp to have another, I didn't have to, he had to do all the convincing lol!

we have the halfway house of a vw touran - fold down seats in the boot which are only occasionally used. Just fits 3 car seats across the middle row.

I can only see cons. They are kids. And there are three of them.

lazylula back when I only had 3 DC, we had a citroen xsara(I know that't the wrong spelling)picasso. It was excellent because the 3 back seats were like the front car seats in terms of space and seat belts. I think you need that if you are going to be doing lots of driving with arguing kids in the back. It also had a lot of boot space.

When I had my 4th baby I bought a 7 seater (vauxhall zafira). It's okay, but the seats are not nearly as good and there is bugger all boot space when all 7 seats are up.

Pros: parents of 3 children spend less time doing childcare than parents of 2, once the children hit school age. I read that recently. And it seems true for us, my 3 are aged 6-10 and they are very good at keeping each other busy.
The older two will sort the youngest one's breakfast, take her to school, listen to her reading. And we never have to worry about lack of company on days our or at home or on holidays. they all like the same sort of activities which helps. These days it isn't that much of a drag, when they were all under 5 it was hard going and I moaned a lot but that's well in the past now.

Money

Dividing your time

The world being set up for families of four.

But it is fun being a gang and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Well, if you choose to have another one you will need to have more sex, so there's a pro (or a con if you see it that way)

I think when you start getting to 3+ another one isn't really going to make much of a difference lol

Cons: when you win a Mumsnet hotel break (yippee!) you can't actually fit your family into a room. Which isn't so ideal for a prize from a parenting site, though we have managed to ditch the kids for the trip rather than try and pretend we only have 2 in the hotel, and shuffling them to and fro under coats.

Pros for me are - we would get another lovely DC.

Cons outweigh them though. So I keep telling myself if I ever get a broody moment.

The main one is that we wouldn't be able to visit my parents or other friends and relatives around the country as no-one could put us up.

I think it would finally send me over the edge into insanity. Possibly my DH too. Two of them on at you at once is bad enough.

Financially we'd probably be ruined. I don't know we'd afford it if they all wanted to go to university in the future. Bad enough the thought of two at 9k a year - will be a lot more by then too.

I think it would be too much for our in-laws to baby sit/look after 4 grand-children (they regularly look after my nephew as well). We could then never go anywhere without them.

I'm 35 - yes I know people have them long after then but I am starting to feel a bit past that stage personally.

Another pro for later on, kids are able to be more independent as if one is away for Christmas (for eg) the family get-together still feels big. DH is one of 2 and (when him & BIL were younger) when one was away, it felt like a non-Christmas IYKWIM?

In my family, we've always been spread around the world and whoever can make it, makes it and we are normally enough for a party :)

Pros -

when i am old, i will have three adult children to ignore and feel disappointed in.

they all love each other, and that dd1 is nasty to Ds will be less of a problem as DS makes friens with DD2
They do all fit in the back of a small car for now so that isn't an immdiate problem

cons - you have to do it all again. one more baby, one more pregnancy and birth, yet another newborn to deal with (yawn) ...weaning (again) etc etc.
i am very very bored of it all.

con - 3 is an 'odd' (as opposed to 'even' number) and you may consider having 4 kids so that they can have a guaranteed mate to play with. It depends on children's ages also.

i don't see why you need a bigger car.
I'm one of three, and it was fine - we had a polo.

(even now with the car seats, you can fit a booster and 2 baby seats in a normal car together - I know because my dad does it with his grandchildren in the skoda.

you've got to have 3 - it's the best number.

the best thing about 3, in terms of someone to play with - if one wants to go off on their own, you've still got one to play with.

and yo ucan fit 3 quite easily in a bog- standard 3-bedroom house - mum and dad in one big room, 2 kids in the other big room and another kid in the small room (either the eldest or the one of a different sex)

Holidays is my big annoyance, whether it's hotel or self catering cottage they are almost always geared up for 2+2.
We were trying to book a last minute hol in a cottage somewhere this weekend, and places are either huge (and therefore expensive) or only allow 4. Apparently it is insurance which limits them, as the youngest would be more than happy to sleep in with us, but she counts as she is no longer classed an infant.

Should say though, we are going to go for 1 more hopefully, so it hasn't stopped us!

cons
dc's rarely get 1-1 time with me or dh
noise and squabbling
holidays, trips etc always for 2 adults 2 children
camping to keep holiday costs down
money
with 3 dc's, one always seems to be left out - but maybe that's just mine
mess
bloody hard work having 3 under 5

pros
dcs keep each other entertained
can't think of anymore

FWIW, we have a 7 seater, rarely use the 2 seats in the back, although the space comes in handy for camping gear.

Mine are 4,6 and 8 so things are getting easier. Me and dh don't get out of bed at the weekends until 8.30am. Imagine that

I have three and am one of three, as is DH so it was always going to be three, health permitting.

Cons - 3rd pregnancy hard with two older DCs, plus school run with pg/small baby not fun at all.
-space - house is bursting, had to get rid of my piano to make room for DC3's cot. Old Renault Scenic fine though for three car sseats.
-expense - food, childcare, university, shoes, activities - it is massively more expensive ahving three etc etc
-work - kept me out of the job market for longer, massively extended the time where I have a pre-schooler at home. I look at my friends who have two children at school and I have another two years to go before reaching that stage - two more years of playgroup tedium. It's harder to get childcare for three children.
-time - difficult to give full attention to older DDs as younger children so demanding. This is a real issue for homework.

Pros - He's adorable!! Stops DCs 1 & 2 being so competitive/bickering. We feel like we're the luckiest family there is to have three such adorable children.
I'm so laid back now in comparison with how I was with DD1, which means that I also really really enjoy DC3 both now and as a baby. Family is too importantt to be practical.

Cons - 2 is one for each parent

Pros:

• I always think a larger family is a proper "Walker" style family, so lots of cousins, family events etc when the children get older.
• If you don't get one with one sibling there's another one to choose from

Cons:

• statistically the more children you have, the less well your children are likely to do academically. Of course, I'm sure people will have anecdotal stories to the contrary, but that is the statistical likelihood.
• Financially and practically, there is less for each time - less money, less time with mum and dad, and less opportunities for hobbies etc (as you have to juggle 3 lots of hobbies etc). Also, increased likelihood that children will have to share a room etc.
• Environmentally, its not as good. For environmental reasons, families are encouraged to have a maximum of two children each.
• My Hubby, (one of three) would not have 3 himself, because of favouritism and children being left out. On a personal level, my two daughters get on so very well, I couldn't imagine bringing a third child into their relationship. They are so close, I was worried that the new child would be left out.
• Finally, and most importantly - my family felt complete, two girls was what I had always wanted, I got that and so didn't feel the need to have any more.

Thanks for all responses.

I sometimes think that if we did have a 3rd I'd want a 4th. we only have an 18 month gap between DD1 and DD2 and there would be a 3-4 year gap between next if we decided. so would I then want a 4th so that DC3 didn't feel left out .

I was one of 5 and loved being part of a big family and my sisters and I are so close!

Also, to prove an earlier poster wrong we all have degrees and luckily jobs just now. Older brother has 3 degrees and is now a teacher, we have an architect, QS, Nurse and Midwife.