OK, I'm probably NBU, so why do I feel so awful?

[LollipopViolet]

OK, a while ago, I posted here about my friend letting me down. Back story, if you can call it that, is Here

The same friend has just asked if I wanted to do V Festival this year. I finish uni in May, and don't know if I'll be working by August.

She wanted my ticket money now, but I'm trying to save for after uni, so I've said no. Sensible thing to do IMO, as I want to go into film/media where weekend/evening/short notice work isn't uncommon, and with no certainty over work, I need the money saving.

Friend is a wheelchair user and is now saying she can't go if I don't, as she has to obviously have some help. I've suggested asking other friends but she doesn't think any of them are free/interested.

Now, part of me is thinking "tough, I want to go too, but can't as I don't know my employment situation". And part of me, for some reason, feels bad that she might not be able to go because of me.

AIBU in saying no to something so far ahead? Or am I being sensible? I'm going away for a weekend next month, and to my uni summer ball, so they're probably my last treats for a long while.

Just feel a bit bad, but I'm disappointed, I wanted to go too, but that's life!

I think you can only speak for yourself, if you don't want to go she shouldn't be trying to pressurise you into going.

If she really wants to go, then she'll have to find another way.

Don't get drawn into her emotional blackmailing, this combined with the other thread just looks as though she's using you.

If she wants/needs you to go so badly, could she pay for your ticket?

Its really not your problem that she can't go if you don't You are her friend not her carer. If she really wants you to go that much she could offer to contribute to your ticket. YANBU

If she really needs someone to help her, then she has to be prepared to pay for them in these circumstances I think. Or a least pay and let the person pay it back in easy installments.

After reading your last thread i would also worry that she will let you down, she is def emotionally blackmailing you and you have done the right thing (your future career sounds v exciting BTW!).

A friend once emotionally blackmailed me into going to NYC with her, i couldnt really afford it but she responded to say that 'with my dad in hospital dying i need something to look forward to' FFS! So i paid the deposit and saved hard for it - dont get me wrong we had a lovely time but i will never forgive her for the way she went about it (her dad is still alive 6yrs later BTW - he was poorly but not that poorly!)

your friend doesnt sound reliable to me

Not sure what to say, really. Part of me feels like you are not at all BU (the way you write it). But another part of me feels like maybe there is a little bit of you wanting to get revenge for previous thread (her cancelling hol). You seem to be disappointed that you're not going away for a long period in that thread, but in this thread you are not wanting to go for a v short trip. I don't really understand why you were prepared to go on a longer holiday before.

Oh I won't get drawn in, don't worry :)

On the whole, she's a good person, I get on with her, we went to V for a day last year, it was great, and we go to ice hockey games together regularly with no problem. To be fair to her, I think it's the sheer disappointment that's made her try and plead with me to go, rather than any blackmailing. Like I say, I get on with her fine, this won't change that for me, and I'm just as disappointed as she is!

She asked if you wanted to go, you said no. That is the end of it. Wheelchair or not, you can't go. If you had promised on your life that you would take her this year, and then reneged, fair enough YWBU. Otherwise, tough.