Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry with my friend's comment about breastfeeding?

35 replies

RedCloud · 01/03/2011 20:43

Basically my (manless childless) friend said to me in an email today that she thought I was 'mad' for 'still breastfeeding' DD age 4.5 months. I thought at first she was joking so emailed back to ask why she thought this... She promptly confirmed that she thought I was mad and went on to explain that she felt that if it was her, giving a bottle and getting more sleep was much the better option!? I explained that there was no evidence - scientific or personal - to support this and that I found her comment wierd. She then became defensive and said she was only joking which I know she wasnt as I had asked her why she thought I was mad and she had explained.

I just feel really angry and have explained to her that b feeding is a personal choice and that people shouldn't comment on other people's feeding choices. I didnt like to say 'don't knock it til you try it love' as didnt want to rub salt into the no man/no child wound.

The whole thing has left me stupidly feeling like a bit of of a wierd hippy. Breast feeding at 4 months isn't exactly 'Bitty' now is it?!

Everyone has different opinions on b feeding and whilst I personally enjoy it and think its right for me, I understand that it isn't right for everyone and would certainly never pass judgement on anyones situation.

Hate falling out with friends over silly things but simply had to stand my ground on this one! Think she now thinks I'm being unreasonable by flying off the handle a little. AIBU for thinking SHE'S the wierdo?

OP posts:
parakeet · 01/03/2011 20:45

She's the weirdo.

Well done for calling her on it - if you hadn't, you'd probably now be seething even more.

BuzzLiteBeer · 01/03/2011 20:45

you both sound bonkers with email rows and your "bitty" and "no-man wound" comments.

BringOnTheGoat · 01/03/2011 20:45

'would never pass judgement on anyones situation.' - no man/no child wound!?!?

YABU

Rhinestone · 01/03/2011 20:48

Are you both 16?

Spidermama · 01/03/2011 20:48

She was out of order to presume to advise you on something so personal and intimate and it's bizarre she's chosen to do this when she has no experience whatsoever.

I'd be tempted to tell her to piss off.

I don't think you should need to justify your decision to her. It's no more her business than it's your business what type of sanitary protection she opts for.

houseworkwhore · 01/03/2011 20:49

here we go again..

she's a bitch, she will never understand untill she has children blah blah blah

SueWhite · 01/03/2011 20:49

Do you even like each other?

scurryfunge · 01/03/2011 20:52

What Buzz said.

Kosmik · 01/03/2011 20:52

I know my friends think I'm mad for 'still breastfeeding' my son at 25 months but they are used to it now. If I flew off the handle at everyone who made daft comments along the way I'd have no friends left now! Its education they need not rebuking. Maybe your friend is jealous of what you've got? I'd feel sorry for her if I were you.

PigValentine · 01/03/2011 20:52

I remember being childless and saying I would never breastfeed. It seemed a bit weird to me. I then fed DS1 for 18 months and DS2 for 11 months (sadly he self weaned - I would have happily carried on!) I can imagine if you are childless and haven't read endles FF/BF debates, it probably does seem a bit mad when you could "give a bottle" (although I'm sure those who FF will confirm that the idea that bottle feeding = sleeping through baby is a massive myth)

Your friend probably wasn't expecting you to go so mad about it. Not worth falling out about at all.

mrsmindcontrol · 01/03/2011 20:53

you're really offended by this? REALLY? You said it yourself- she's childless so has never had first hand experience of feeding a child. She's simply made an (understandable in the circumstances) uneducated comment. Big fucking deal. I'm still bf my 8 month old and I'm sure some of my childless mates prob think I'm a bit weird but, so what, live and let live. Oh, and I'd drop the sneering comments about her single status if I was you. I don't doubt she's probably picked up on your coupled up and mummy smugness particularly now you've got all self riteous about an aspect of life that she couldn't possibly understand.

BlueFergie · 01/03/2011 20:55

While not having children is relevent to this dicussion I fail to see why you needed to point out twice that your friend did not have a 'man'.
For what its worth I bf both of mine for a year and if any of my friends had said something to me I would nave slapped them down as well. However none of them did because myself and my friends like each other and respect each others lifestyle coices (whether that is breastfeeding or being single and/ or childless)
Manless -fucking hell are we in the 1950s?

PigValentine · 01/03/2011 20:58

Bringonthegoat I missed the reference in the OP and thought "no-man wound" was some sort of obscure fanjo reference.

PrincessScrumpy · 01/03/2011 20:58

A friend of mine was really against bf and found it horrible, would never do it etc

She now had a dd and did try to bf. She struggled and did give up but was actually really disapponited as she really want to in the end!

Everyone has an opinion on bf but the only person who knows when to stop is you and you baby. I was feeling ready to stop and dd decided to so made it very easy - that was at 8 months. It's what worked for us. I'm now expecting twins and don't realistically expect to bf as long, but we'll see how it goes.

Rannaldini · 01/03/2011 20:59

aibu to think that this is made up
or
aibu to think that this is a non thing
or
aibu to think this is dull dull dull

catinthehat2 · 01/03/2011 21:00

I agree, not very good, 3/10

BringOnTheGoat · 01/03/2011 21:03

Grin pig

Vallhala · 01/03/2011 21:03

YABU. You're both mad to think anyone might care about your feeding choice.

NinkyNonker · 01/03/2011 21:03

Never argue with an eejit.

mylovelymonster · 01/03/2011 21:04

She sounds as tho she was making a non-comment about something of which she knows nothing, & you sound as though you need to catch up on some sleep and stop stressing about silly comments from people who know narfink about what they're talking about, innit.

Did you know that the highest levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, can be found in the lactating female?
I should know, I've been a wreck for 16months now.....

Summerbird73 · 01/03/2011 21:04

I would pull her pigtails and tell her to stop being so mean! Angry

mylovelymonster · 01/03/2011 21:05

and yes, you are all being quite silly over nothing.

GabySolis · 01/03/2011 21:09

I agree with lovelymonster. Why even bother getting so stressed when in your own words it's a subject she knows nothing about as she hasn't even 'been there' ie children?'
She's entitled to her opinion just as much as you are entitled to yours. Seriously get a grip. It's not worth worrying about.

Spidermama · 01/03/2011 21:10

I don't think this is particularly silly or childish.

OP is upset because she has fallen out with an old friend. It's upsetting to fall out with old friends. She has come here for support and to try to make sense of it.

I don't know why so many posters have decided to have a go.

What's wrong with you people? Are you trying to be cool or something? Why the nasty remarks? I honestly don't get your motives here.

nailak · 01/03/2011 21:11

she probably meant nothing by it and didnt know it would cause you so much offense and upset, it was a joke,