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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Handed in notice to my Boss,but Boss wants me to stay?and

25 replies

buttercupsinthemeadow · 01/03/2011 19:46

the reason I was leaving was all down to childcare,and the cost of my Dd being in childcare whilst I work .

She has worked out if I do my notice why not stay a extra month and I would have all holidays paid for and would be entitled to more money,as I get paid in school holidays.

She asked me to reconsider and offered me a few more hours and said she would keep me on a four day week.

I will not be out of pocket as much now as before I would of been £120 down a month now its only £40 per month,this is nothing I know to some people but financially makes a big difference to me.

Its put me in a situation where If I stay I will look stupid as I have tried to leave before and was talked around and they have been fantastic,I admit its not a glamorous job but it fits with the kids.

I just wanted to aspire to more,I have had great jobs before but now my priorities have changed since having kids I admit ,I'm worried I'm selling myself short.

Dd goes to school next year I'm at a crossroad and don't know what to do?.

OP posts:

activate · 01/03/2011 19:48

sooo you will be paying £40 for the benefit of working ?

is that right?

I don't mean to be negative but it doesn't stack up!

AKMD · 01/03/2011 19:50

You must be really good if they've tried to keep you twice once you've talked about leaving. IMO once someone starts talking about going, it's 'see ya' from the boss once their notice is in.

Up to you. If you need the extra money and don't mind staying for the extra month then stay. If you don't need it and staying would mess up your plans, go.

PonceyMcPonce · 01/03/2011 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeerTricksPotter · 01/03/2011 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rhinestone · 01/03/2011 19:52

well if your boss has removed the obstacles to you staying there, and it fits with the kids, then stay!

Sounds like you have a great boss who considers you very valuable.

Fiddledee · 01/03/2011 19:54

so you need to hold out for 18 months before you make any money i.e until your last DC starts school. School hours jobs very hard to get, I would stick at it even if at a loss for the long term benefits to you and your family. Try and make it break even at least.

SuchProspects · 01/03/2011 20:05

Buttercup - You don't look stupid if they have provided you with an offer that makes the job attractive. Work is supposed be a mutually rewarding arrangement - not something where one side is conning the other somehow.

You don't really sound wowed by the new offer though. I suggest you try to think about what would (realistically!) make the job really work for for you, and ask for that. They may well have more wiggle room and they seem keen for you to stay so this is your opportunity to negotiate for what you need.

If your job is fairly skilled then continuing to work is probably financially prudent in the long run. But that doesn't mean you can't also try to maximise money now. Also think about whether it would be better for you to get different responsibilities - if you used to be ambitious you may find that comes back again as the children get older. Keeping your skills current or gaining experience in another area could be as valuable to you as the money (so long as you can make ends meet of course).

Original poster

buttercupsinthemeadow · 01/03/2011 20:22

The job is not skilled as such I help in a school lunch times,not putting it down before I get flamed but my previous jobs I worked in Sales,Customer Services, and I have a Recruitment background.

For me its a step down but I took the job to fit in with my kids and provide for them.and be around for them whilst they were so young.

It has given me the opportunity to work with children which I love and I have also great experience with,I know the job has no future long term goals, the hours are no more than 16 hours a week.

Next year I need 24 hours minimum,as we have long term plans and so I need a job that makes me happy but a job that pays fairly well etc.

OP posts:

mmsmum · 01/03/2011 20:22

I think you are incredibly lucky to have a job like that. I would keep it, even if you are at a loss at the moment you won't be once school starts.

Have you checked out all your entitlements to tax credits, child benefit, council tax benefit and I'm sure there are more I just can't think of?

PurpleCrazyHorse · 01/03/2011 20:27

I'm in a only slightly similar position (offered new job, current boss asked me to apply for post in my department, all a bit complicated).

I'm still moving jobs because I need a fresh challenge and I am more likely to get a good grounding in my long-term goal with this job. If I stayed I would be on more money, but it's not about that (I'll still earn more than I'm on now in the new job).

If the new job will get you where you want to be and it fits in with kids etc then you should think seriously about moving. Where do you want to be in 6 or 12 month's time?

Original poster

buttercupsinthemeadow · 01/03/2011 20:35

I'd like to work in a preschool,but again there is no money in this job ,it fits in great with the kids,would have to go back to college financially can not afford it and would have to volunteer my free time to get a grant and work place.

Realistically I need to go back to work in a office and utilise my skills and work my way up after having kids the benefits would be,I would be on good money.

OP posts:

Lee32 · 01/03/2011 20:45

You're not being unreasonable, but I wonder if you're perhaps being a little unrealistic? Do you have a better job with good money lined up to move into? It sounds as though you're at least valued where you are - which means you must be good at what you do - so I can't see where "looking stupid" even comes into it. What you look like is someone they want to hang onto, which they wouldn't without reason.

If you have some other job to go to, then why hesitate? But if you don't, can't you hang on where you are while continuing to look around for something? I get the impression from your message that it's not so much that you dislike your current job as that it's not prestige enough. Just make sure you're not jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

chickchickchicken · 01/03/2011 20:51

i used to work in Further Education, there are lots of funded courses for women returning to work so it could be worth exploring this

some of the courses also have free childcare attached to them

Original poster

buttercupsinthemeadow · 01/03/2011 20:54

Thank you everyone for your valued input its much appreciated.

Lee32 you are right I have nothing lined up I admit I just feel I'm going nowhere and I have worked so hard.

Having kids has changed all that,you make theses sacrifices and yes its great I'm appreciated right now but I feel disappointed with myself as to where I am at in my life right now.

OP posts:

Original poster

buttercupsinthemeadow · 01/03/2011 20:54

Chickchickchicken please tell me more.

OP posts:

GreenEyesandHam · 01/03/2011 20:56

In the past I've paid much more than £40 for the 'benefit of working'.

It's all paid back and then some now though, sometimes you have to look at the long term view.

Not saying this is right for the OP though, but if you could hold on whilst you found something else more suited?

GreenEyesandHam · 01/03/2011 20:57

Too slow, soz :o

Original poster

buttercupsinthemeadow · 01/03/2011 21:01

Yes your right Greeneyesandham I can deep down now justify £40 and hold on I just feel so disappointed in myself ,like I said I expected more of myself.

It seems from what I have been advised I should stay where I am and be grateful I'm valued and wait till dd is at school and then look long term.

OP posts:

SuchProspects · 01/03/2011 21:02

buttercups - From what you say of the job, it doesn't sound like it's doing anything for you now. It's costing you money (did I read that right in your OP?) but it's not really building up your CV at all. And maybe I'm wrong about this, but wouldn't it be fairly easy to get a similar job again once your DCs are all in school and you don't have the childcare costs?

If you are actually interested in staying can you ask for some management responsibilities? Or is this perhaps a route into a school office job that would pay better, utilize some of your skills, etc?

Original poster

buttercupsinthemeadow · 01/03/2011 21:10

I was offered additionally that I could help voluntarily towards a TA job for my CV to help out in the school, not paid though.

Told the Hm that I was leaving she seemed upset I was going although she understood arghhh.

OP posts:

GreenEyesandHam · 01/03/2011 21:15

In my own experience, one of the most valuable things to have on your CV is an established job history with as few gaps as possible, even if they're 'not that grand' jobs.

I'd go for whatever they offer if it was me- and I've had some shitty jobs :o

I've never had one though, that I didn't take something from- whether it was a new skill, a new contact, a new perspective, or even 'just' a new mate :o

hmmm54 · 01/03/2011 22:02

In my life (I'm now in 40's) many many people have suggested it would be best for me / I am an ideal candidate for xxx.

In all cases it has been totally for their gain. Do what's best for you and feel no guilt.

theyoungvisiter · 01/03/2011 22:09

Well would you still be out of pocket overall if you get paid during the holidays? I mean if you're down £40 a month for two months, but then get £600 over the school hols, or whatever, then stay and pocket the holiday money!

Do you (or your DH) pay tax and are you claiming childcare vouchers and all your tax credit entitlements? It might make all the difference.

Original poster

buttercupsinthemeadow · 02/03/2011 21:54

Sorry I don't get paid £600 in the holidays I get paid over £240 pounds and pay £40 out of that for the childcare a month,I wanted to get a three day week{24}hours over 3 days when she goes to school.

I could do this for the moment and get a new job back in an office next year,I could then earn that but then pay out in the holidays for the childcare,but in the long run earn more money than I do now,if that makes sense.

OP posts:

theyoungvisiter · 02/03/2011 23:11

so hang on - you're not down at all? I thought from your first post that you were £40 out of pocket (ie you were being paid say £200 a month and you're paying £240 a month in childcare).

From what you say now that's not the case... you're actually £200 in profit? Or have I got it wrong again? Really confused...

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