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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect to buy a bridesmaid dress fairly easily?

72 replies

readywithwellies · 01/03/2011 19:42

Bridesmaid, 9, has a bit of a tummy, bmi in low end of overweight (tall). Because of this, dresses from the waist don't fit unless they are huge on the chest (and these are in aged 15)

Can't get a dress to fit her off the peg. I need one that drops from the chest, is reasonably priced (under £100) and colour is negotiable.

So AIBU? If so, where are these elusive dresses?

OP posts:

Original poster

readywithwellies · 01/03/2011 21:05

I didn't want a dress (so anti Bridezilla) but this was such a bargain I couldn't leave it there.

OP posts:

worraliberty · 01/03/2011 21:12

For the record I didn't say anyone should 'tell the 9yr old lose weight' and certainly not just to fit into a bridesmaid dress

I asked if losing weight within 7 months was a viable option and I don't think that's an unreasonable question.

I don't get all the shocked faces at the thought of a young girl eating healthier food and doing more exercise, especially when there seems to be no 'shocked faces' at a 9yr old possibly having to wear the clothes of a 15yr old.

Jesus there are ways of making exercise fun you know without the child ever having to know the motive.

Having said that OP if it's not your child then you're right, it's not your business

issey6cats · 01/03/2011 21:49

i had the opposite problem when my daughter got married, she is 5ft 2 and a size six so the adult wedding dresses swamped her, so in the end we found a lovely mini wedding dress style bridesmaids dress and the dressmaker at the shop let out the top to accomadate her boobs cost was like £125 instead of £500-£600

EveryonesJealousOfGingers · 01/03/2011 21:59

Lovely! I am slightly disappointed you're not wearing wellies and a bikini though TBH. Have you considered these babies?

Original poster

readywithwellies · 01/03/2011 22:03

Everyone - wow!!!

OP posts:

EveryonesJealousOfGingers · 01/03/2011 22:36

They are very special, aren't they!

thecomputerwidow · 02/03/2011 21:56

I am totally disgusted that you can consider telling a vunerable, impressionable 9 year old girl to lose weight.

PrincessWellington · 02/03/2011 21:59

I agree thecomputerwidow. Disgusting!

redfairy · 02/03/2011 22:29

I had the same problem with my Step daughter who was 10 when I married her father last year. I had got a lovely Monsoon dress from Ebay for my 8yr old but were running out of time to get step daughter kitted out. In the end we found lots of choice in New Look of all places that did some very floaty drsses in creams, pinks and nude shades. We got her a ladies small size and it fitted her beautifully. High Street prices were fab too.

BumsOnSeats · 03/03/2011 09:44

It is not "disgusting" suggesting that she might need to lose weight. It can be dealt with sensitively, in yerms of good food, being active etc.

If a 9 year old is not fitting in clothes for a 13 year old, then that suggests she is not a healthy size. Tall and a rounded tummy is one thing, but I would worry that this child is headed for a life of obesity if she is so out of step with her age range in clothes at this age. If it were just in one or two shops then maybe the sizing is to blame but it sounds here like the OP's BM needs to wear clothes for children 5 years older than her chronological age whichever shop it is. That would sound loud warning bells to me.

Bogeyface · 03/03/2011 09:55

Bums, I see what you are saying but up to mid teens, most clothes are designed on the principle that girls have no shape and are skinny. That they are straight up and down like boys. If you have a child that is even slightly overweight or an early developer then you can really struggle to get clothes, dresses and trousers in particular. They dont seem to reshape clothes, just use the same pattern and size it up. So you have clothes supposedly for a 16 year old cut along the same principle as for a 6 year old, who has no boobs or bum!

My 9 year old is as skinny as a whippet, she is slightly underweight for her height, as was I at that age. And I have found some clothes cut too slightly even for her in the right age. And it isnt always the cheap ranges either, some of the more expensive shops cut clothes skinny. Is it any wonder we are breeding a range of kids with eating disorders, when a skinny 9 year old cant fit into a supposedly standard sized pair of jeans?!

Rosedee · 03/03/2011 11:34

Surely if she has a tummy at 9 years old it's just puppy fat and when she hits puberty it'll go? Op hasn't said she's fat just tall with a tummy. Sounds like me before puberty except I was (and still am) a short arse sorry can't help with the dress op but good luck in finding something.

BumsOnSeats · 03/03/2011 12:23

Rosedee, as I said before, a tall 9 yo with a tummy - that might be fine. However, a tall nine year old who can't fit into age 13 clothes? That sounds like a child who would benefit from a healthier lifestyle.

Bogeyface - I agree partly with what you say. Some shops are much less generous than others - I have found the same with my DC's, esp with skinny jeans and my average sized children. However, the OP mentions Monsoon age 13 dress being unlikely to fit and Next age 15 dress not zipping up - that alarms me.

I worry, like ,about eating disorders in our children, but we have to be realistic about things, and balance that concern with worry about lifelong obesity too...

foreverondiet · 03/03/2011 12:34

Will probably get flamed, but is it not slightly worrying that a 9 year old can't fit into clothes of the peg. Certainly age 12 clothes would still be designed for no chest, so alarm bells should be ringing if she can't fit into age 12 clothes, unless she really is exceptionally tall.

I have posted on this before, children's clothes are very generously cut. DD(7) has a tummy (although she is average height, and weight well within normal range, and has no problems buying clothes, even "skinny" jeans.) DS1 has no tummy, but I think normal for 4 YO boy and can only buy trousers if they can be tighened.

I just bought DD a bridesmaid dress, everything fitted, not even tight.

I have to say agree with the comments about the diet. So many children are overweight, and it doesn't necessarily follow that they will loose the fat as they become teenagers... "puppy fat" is a myth.

However its all academic as its not the OP's child.

Personally I'd put it back to the bridesmaid's mother - "sorry can't find anything that fits, please choose her something, here is the budget.

Original poster

readywithwellies · 03/03/2011 12:43

Right - I didn't want a debate on whether she needs to lose weight, I wanted help to dress the child.

Will be ignoring thread comments on her weight.

OP posts:

BumsOnSeats · 03/03/2011 12:43

Forever, I am with you on this.

I have to add though, up to about age 7, children clothes are generous, as you have found - my children regularly wore clothes at least one year younger than their chronological age.

However, once they hit 8 or so and 'fashion' starts to seep in a bit more, I have found that sizings are less generous on my children, who haven't changed shape at all.

I maintain though, that at age 9, if a child can't fit into age 13 clothes, then it is the child that is the issue rather than the clothes.

BumsOnSeats · 03/03/2011 12:46

Sorry, rww! I agree the weight issue is off topic, but it is still worth saying. There is a lot of weight denial going on in society at the moment...

Back on topic I am no expert, but it sounds like getting something tailor-made is your best bet - that way you can get it adjusted nearer the time, as she may well change shape/size between now and October.

Happy planning!

worraliberty · 03/03/2011 12:55

I love the disgusting! posts from people who are clearly to disgusted to read the fact No-one suggested telling the child anything

Original poster

readywithwellies · 03/03/2011 13:00

OP posts:

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 03/03/2011 13:10

These people promise to get a dress made to order for you in 10 days, and are UK based. I have spent many happy hours designing frocks on their website, but have yet to buy one. DS (10) has also designed many dresses for me, but they've all been a bit, ahem, eccentric.

Asteria · 03/03/2011 13:28

how about this they have some really pretty empire line dresses and they go up to age 14/15. The company is owned by a friend of mine and I am nagging persuading her to make them in grown up sizes because all the clothes are so gorgeous! My DS 8 (yes I do mean son!) fitted into one of their 10 year olds dresses the other day and he is tall, broad and has a bit of a tummy too - he generally wears age 11 clothes. (I don't routinely dress him as a girl - but he loves fancy dress and does a good line in camp singing performances!)

girlywhirly · 03/03/2011 14:23

Can I add my tuppenny worth?

I had a young bridesmaid, who was 5, and slightly chubby due to her cerebral palsy and extreme difficulty with mobility. I asked her mum to measure her for me and gave suggestions for dresses from BHS. She and I decided on a style, and I went and measured the dresses in the shop. I bought the 7-8 yr size, and posted it to the mum, who tried it on her dd and put a safety pin in the skirt where it would need to be shortened to. She then posted it back to me and I shortened it myself.

I suggest getting the girls measurements, and taking them with you with a tape measure and then you can measure any dresses you like the look of in the shop. As long as the dress hems aren't fussy, they can be shortened, and you will get the chest/waist size you need. I agree that a high waisted design would be most appropriate here, no clingy fabric or fitted waist.

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