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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not to give out party bags???

60 replies

mummyloveslucy · 01/03/2011 17:44

Hi, we're having a party for our daughters 6th birthday this weekend. We're going to a victorian museum where they get dressed up, and have a toor around then have a birthday tea and play traditional games. Each child wins a small prize in pass the parcel.
AIBU not to hand out party bags at the end? It's just that I've run out of money, with it being before pay day and already I've had to borrow some from my mum which I don't like doing. I see them as a waste of money to be honest and most of it ends up in the bin. It's just that I've never been to a party that hasn't had them. The last thing I'd want is a queue of children lined up waiting for them.

So what do you think, AIBU and will I be talked about forever more, or will the children still have a great time and not even notice?

OP posts:

babyapplejack · 01/03/2011 18:30

Cake and sweets in a bag = perfect. That is a party bag so no problem.

FabbyChic · 01/03/2011 18:34

I love the idea of a Kinder Egg! How cool.

rosie1979 · 01/03/2011 18:37

YANBU! I hate party bags, a bag of plastic tat that gets thrown away after a week.

I dont "do" party bags and there was one little girl that was led away from the party in tears

I wish more people would stop doing them - balloon and a piece of cake is much nicer. (and cheaper!)

MadamDeathstare · 01/03/2011 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

earthpixie · 01/03/2011 18:46

I'm hosting a party for about 20 children soon and won't be doing the party bag thang, I'm not made o'money. Balloon and little packet of choccie buttons will do, I'm sure.

Actually, when I were a lass no-one had party bags. (I'm 40). It was a slice of cake in a napkin. From whence did this pernicious trend come?

hidenseek · 01/03/2011 19:08

Like it or not, party bags are the done thing. I'm not a particular fan, it's a bag filled with tat and crap generally, but I adored them as a child, and of all the children's parties I've attended as an adult, the children do expect them.

I wouldn't do a party without them because I wouldn't want it to end on a sour note. Parents and children alike expect them.

woollyideas · 01/03/2011 19:15

Sour note?

BendyBob · 01/03/2011 19:16

I like party bags .

Ok they're not the law and I wouldn't want anyone bankrupting themselves over them, so don't do it if you're pushed. No worries.

But I think it's a shame when people seem to get so worked up about them. Dc like them (mostly) and they're only for fun. Small children tend to like inconsequential things that are of the moment and just for fun. Why must everything be so worthy?

supadupapupascupa · 01/03/2011 19:17

a piece of cake and a balloon would be fine. as long as they get to take something home (and show off to their siblings) they won't care that it isn't in a plastic bag.....

onadifferentplanettoday · 01/03/2011 19:18

As the only bit the children seem to be interested in is the sweets I bought some mini bars and haribo type sweets and put them in small clear food bags which I tied with curling type ribbon and put them in a basket for the children to take one on their way out,I did a few extras for siblings that came at pick up time and everyone was more than happy.

mousymouse · 01/03/2011 19:22

lidl sells kinder eggs in packs of three...

GreenEyesandHam · 01/03/2011 19:23

I hope no one has ever spent any amount of time lovingly preparing bags for my children.

Once home, it's cake out/ bag in bin.

I figure the child has had a nosey and fished out anything they really want, the rest is tat that won't be missed.

I don't 'do' them either. Oh I'm so hard, me

parakeet · 01/03/2011 20:36

Excellent, this thread has inspired me to nix the party bags at our next birthday party too. Mums of the world unite!

hidenseek · 01/03/2011 20:49

Was that directed at me Woolly? If so, yes, sour note. With children upset that they haven't got a party bag at a party when it is the done thing in this country and all the other parties have had them, it would end on a sour note. Fun and games, something to eat, birthday cake, party bag. They don't even have to be expensive.

PrincessScrumpy · 01/03/2011 21:06

I don't see why you need party bags as well. However, dd (3) went to her first older child's party (6) and instead of a bag she got a Winnie the Pooh mug with sweets and a piece of cake in it - an idea I will steal. The mugs were on offer so cost £1 each. Fab idea.

flyingspaghettimonster · 02/03/2011 01:55

It is totally up to you and your budget - if it were me I would try to give a little something though, even just a lolly or pack of sweets...

It is so easy to go overboard on kids parties. I did that last year, and vowed this year to just have old fashioned parties with games (unheard of over here in Virginia, it seems) and keep costs down. I still ended up overspending as kids these days don't seem to be able to accept not all winning at pass the parcel, and not all getting equal value prizes. It sort of detracts from the competition side of things! I hope your daughter has a wonderful time, it sounds like a great birthday treat.

sunnydelight · 02/03/2011 03:55

They are called lolly bags here in Oz for a reason - you can just put a handful of cheap crappy sweets in a bag and the kids think it's fab. It is also acceptable to serve only crisps, biscuits and birthday cake as party food at the poshest of parties. After many years of kids' birthday parties in Brighton where everything had to be organic and healthy and people were happy to give lists of stuff their kids "couldn't eat" (not to mention the hours spent sourcing educational toys from ethical sources) I think it's fab [grin} Cake and a small packet of sweets is the way to go.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 02/03/2011 08:03

I loathe party bags with a passion. DD is always very by my stance. She even tells the invitees beforehand that there won't be any party bags.
When I was young, many many years ago, we got a slice of cake in toilet paper. No napkins to be seen in Newham.

prettymuchapixiegirl · 02/03/2011 08:30

Another one here who doesn't like party bags. I've found over the years that some parents are quite competitive about what they put in them and try to out-do each other. DD2 went to a disco a few months ago to which there were about 40 children, and all the girls had a pack of Monsoon hairclips in their party bags, plus other things too. I reckon each party bag cost about £6 or £7. Which is ridiculous IMO and was just done to impress the other parents.

I either keep party bags very basic, or if it's a big party then they all just take home a slice of cake each. DD1 is having a cinema party later in the month, and I won't be giving party bags as the girls at the party are all 12/13, instead I'll get them all a drink and popcorn to eat whilst they watch the film

thereisalightanditnevergoesout · 02/03/2011 10:16

We didn't have party bags as such with DD2's party a few weeks ago. We went to the pond shop and bought cheap bubbles and gave the kids bubbles and a piece of cake on their way out.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout · 02/03/2011 10:17

oh and I'd also been to sainsburys and bought loads of those naughty full of sugar sweets like cola bottles & laces (3 for £1).

madamh · 02/03/2011 10:46

I dislike party bags, too. I think it's reasonable to throw a party and then send the children off with a polite, "Thank you for coming. Would you like to take a piece of cake home?"

backwardpossom · 02/03/2011 10:49

I made up party bags for DS's birthday and put them by the door to hand out when everyone was leaving. Except I forgot to hand them out so I was stuck with 25 party bags of plastic tat... Doh!

EssexGurl · 02/03/2011 11:24

Last year DS went to a party where at the end each child was given a balloon and a book. He and his friend went up to the child's mum and asked where their party bag and birthday cake were. Me and friends mum were mortified. But, interestingly enough, since then every party we have been to has had party bags. Even if is a balloon in a plastic bag, DS thinks it great - this being the boy who didn't want the blown up balloon at the original party.

I hate them but kids love them and it is all part of the party experience. We collect all the stuff up from inside and save for the school fete. They ask us to fill plastic cups with sweets, toys etc. So, everything gets recycled .

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 02/03/2011 11:41

I once gave a little craft kit to each child at ds2's party (he was 9, I think), and told them this was instead of a party bag. One child came up and said she didn't want the craft kit, so could she have a party bag instead! I thought this was a bit cheeky, but just told her that there weren't any party bags - it wasn't an either or situation.

Fairly soon after that, I stopped putting toys and plastic tat in party bags, and just went to the pound shop, bought a pile of sweets, and divided them between the bags. I added a slice of cake to each one at the party, and never had a single complaint. Plus it saved money, because I could get a lot of sweets from the pound shop for not much money at all.

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