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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...taking 15 week old DS outside on a cold day?

63 replies

mamaGool · 01/03/2011 13:51

Waiting at the bus stop to take 15wo DS swimming. He is in a sling, with my body heat, a bobble hat on, cashmere shawl & silk cardie wrapped over the top of that & snoozing happily.

I notice a woman staring at me/him (this happens a lot), so I smile.
HER: it's windy for baby.
ME (thinking she's making conversation): Yes it is, isn't it? That's why I've got him so bundled up.
HER: Tsk!

OP posts:
katylou25 · 01/03/2011 13:54

Oh yes because people in Russia/alaska etc never ever leave the house with their babies didn't you klnow!!

eileenslightlytotheleft · 01/03/2011 13:55

Mamgool, women are always telling you off for one thing or other when you have a baby. You learn how to screen them out (and the good news is that when you have two children, everyone seems to give you up as a lost cause).

DiscoDaisy · 01/03/2011 13:56

What does the woman think people with school age children do?????

AllGoodNamesGone · 01/03/2011 13:56

Maybe she thought you should have had him tucked up in a silver cross with 15 blankets and the hood up to keep the wind off?

Strange woman!

SenoritaViva · 01/03/2011 13:56

Oh I remember getting abused for things like that. People are ridiculous. Ignore them, so much more lovely that you are getting out of the house and doing an activity. People are crazy. You are lovely. Simple.

BringOnTheGoat · 01/03/2011 13:56

YABU - cashmere and silk are nowhere near as good as nylon to keep the heat in Wink

tulpe · 01/03/2011 13:59

Agree with eileen - you only seem to be target when you appear to have your first baby.........you wait until your 15 week old is a monstrously tantrumming toddler.......then you will REALLY hear other peoples opinions :o

BTW, YANBU

redandyellowandpinkandgreen · 01/03/2011 14:00

When I took DS (also 15 weeks) to the supermarket the other day he was in his car seat and wrapped up and a woman just looked at us and said 'ahh poor baby'. I was too stunned to ask why he was a poor baby.

Also when he is crying and we are out people always say 'oh is he cold or hungry maybe?' and I want to yell that I'm not so irresponsible that I take my baby out and leave him to freeze and starve. I don't know why they comment.

Rubyted · 01/03/2011 14:09

In the 50's babies got left outside for 5 hours a day.....cold or not.....

Sheesh...

Your little man was all cozy in his cashmere. Don't fret about it.

milkmoustache · 01/03/2011 14:10

It's just amazing how a small baby will alert all the childcare 'experts' in your area with their oh-so-helpful comments and advice... Are they all off-duty health visitors looking to wind up new mums just for fun? I remember feeling very thin-skinned and vulnerable in the early days and these kinds of comments just DO NOT HELP! Try to ignore them as best you can - fob them off with an insincere smile and move on.

lesley33 · 01/03/2011 15:00

I used to get the same with my dog! He had a shaking back leg - vet didn't know what caused it but said it was harmless.

Every day practically I would get someone saying "oh look at that poor dog, he is shivering". You get a bit fed up explaining so I just used to smile and say nothing.

Original poster
mamaGool · 01/03/2011 15:03

Thanks so much ladies, you've made me smile :)

red... "poor baby"! LOL

eileen better get to work on another soon, then I can join the "lost causes"! Grin

OP posts:
WinterLover · 01/03/2011 15:09

Oh FGS YANBU!!

I was an October baby and my mum frequently had me bundled up in my pram outside the back door... I never had colds or anything. It's not done me any harm Grin

RunAwayWife · 01/03/2011 15:20

Mamagoo you should know you are not allowed out of the house until baby is 37 years old, get back to the cooker woman Grin

EleanorJosie · 01/03/2011 15:50

When DD1 was a month or so old we went on holiday - just an hour away and popped out early evening to eat, with her, and she was asleep in the infant car seat which we took to the restaurant. Someone said quite loudly on another table "They are carrying her like it's a shopping basket"!

When she was eight weeks old I went to the shops pushing her in the pram and while she normally loved the pram and went to sleep, this time she decided to kick off on the way home. A little old lady said "I don't think she likes shopping"!

Also people used to comment about me using a sling with DD1, I think they were more common by the time DD2 came along. I used to get "Can she breathe in that thing?" and stuff like that.

People do like to pass opinions - especially about first time mums with a young baby- I can't say as I got any comments second time round when I was out with both of them. You do develop a thick skin eventually though. But I think some of it comes out of the media portraying parents in a negative light generally.

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 01/03/2011 15:54

YANBU

i used to work with a couple of Finns
they said that in Finland babies are still routinely put out in the garden in the middle of winter (well-bundled up, obviously). Generations of Finns appear to have survived Grin.

Laquitar · 01/03/2011 15:59

I was not getting this only from strangers but also from my mum (who was never overprotective with me)!
She thought i'm cruel to take the baby out at +10 degrees Hmm

4madboys · 01/03/2011 16:05

oh i had this the other weekend when i went to london an old lady went on and on about how cold my dd must be on such a windy day Hmm it wasnt windy, there was barely a breeze and she was in a fleece suit with a hat, swaddled in a sheet, and then had a blanket on top of that in the pram, she was FINE! i just said no she is fine, and the woman still went on about how she must be cold!

mummytime · 01/03/2011 16:09

Read Dr Spock, that nightmare of permissiveness in the 60s, suggests you leave baby outside in their pram for an hour or two unless it is actually snowing!

mumbar · 01/03/2011 16:11

When DS was 6 weeks old we visited from Tenerife to England, in October and it was cold. We took him swimming at 7 weeks and as we were leaving cafe after (needed coffee!!) I was putting DS big thick coat on and wrapping him in a blanket to carry him to the car. One woman looked up and said 'its cold outside today'. Hmm. Still not quite sure what she was getting at 6 years later. Grin

YANBU

lazylula · 01/03/2011 16:14

Ds1 was a November baby and I used to wrap him up and leave him to sleep in the garden in his pram, this was only 5 years ago I might add. He survived.

Honeybee79 · 01/03/2011 16:15

Yanbu.

I've had the same. God, people are so stupid and rude.

Diablo82 · 01/03/2011 16:21

YANBU. Don't let it bother you.

GloriaSmut · 01/03/2011 16:21

Always remember that in the Land of Outsize Judgemental Pants, the judger is Queen of all she tuts over. You will always be wrong. It has ever been thus too. On days when my dcs were sensibly wrapped up against the cold, my former MIL would always insist that I'd bring up a pair of proper sissies by not pegging them to a mountainside in drifting snow. Because they did in the 50s y'know.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 01/03/2011 16:21

I remember when DD was first born we still lived in my 3rd floor flat so to hang washing out I would take washing down first then run up and get DD in her carseat. I was pegging out the washing when one of my neighbours actually picked DD up and started to take her inside. This was in bloody April!!