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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think I have really messed up!!!

71 replies

ohIamshafted · 01/03/2011 12:29

So shitting myself. I have given up my job. Returned to work after maternity leave for a few months but it was impossible...have 4 kids, job needed me to travel regularly, was on anti depressants by the end, had no money anyway.

I gave up work in the belief after doing online benefits calculator that based on DH's salary I would receive tax credits of about £300 per month (he earns about 28k).

However I've now looked at the claim pack, it seems that they base your claim on last year's income rather than current - obviously I had a income last year - does that mean I'll get nothing till this time next year?

Please can someone advise.

OP posts:
nailak · 01/03/2011 17:03

dont listen to what they say to you on the phone it is all lies

nailak · 01/03/2011 17:08

because you would do something does it mean that what you would do i s automatically best for everyone to do? you are judging on a few lines posted on the forum, she hasnt told us her whole life story and she doesnt need to.
and where would you suggest she goes for advice? because they dont tell you these things in advance. like how much you will get until you put in a claim.

StealthPolarBear · 01/03/2011 17:27

"Didn't check proply or explore options and now got herself in a mess."
am I missing something, how do you know she didn't?

StealthPolarBear · 01/03/2011 17:29

and as someone else said, presumably families where one parent is a SAHP are entitled to this - if you don't agree with that then surely you have a problem with the system in general rather than the OP.

It's like seeing me going into hospital and wingeing that I have this sense of entitlement to HS care, surely? Hmm

ohIamshafted · 01/03/2011 18:25

lexi, I'm not going to lower myself to respond to your nasty, judgemental posts. You know nothing about me or my position - you sound thoroughly unpleasant.

To everyone else, thanks for taking the time to answer.Work has become untenable, they said they would try and reduce travel and be understanding when I returned to work but I have a new boss who wants me to travel practically every week, and the line of work I'm in means any other job would be similar.

The tax credits are a short term measure to tide us over whilst I work on my own small home run business. I have paid tax for twenty years as has my husband and we are just looking for a little support now.

OP posts:
mintyneb · 01/03/2011 19:13

I didn't go back to work after having my DD so claimed for TC in the first financial year that I wasn't earning. I had received maternity pay in the previous tax year and on paper that put our combined income over the threshold.

i explained this to the TC helpdesk but was told that I would have to declare my previous years earnings on the application form. It would then be declined and then I could put in an appeal to claim against the current years earnings!

lo and behold thats what happened so after several weeks I was finally able to claim something.

seemed absolute madness but there you go! Good luck with getting a claim through the system. Just keep a note of any conversations you have with them and don't give up!

mrsscoob · 01/03/2011 19:15

ohiamshafted, don't feel like you have to explain yourself just because of twats like Lexi!!! I think your situation is totally valid and there is nothing wrong anyway with being a SAHM, good luck to you, I hope you manage to get everything sorted, have you rang them yet?

CrapBag · 01/03/2011 20:06

You can claim when only one of you is working.

Don't think they will look at this years income. This happened to us when I was doing some permitted work before I had DS. When we came to claim CTC, I had income from the previous year but even though I wasn't working anymore, they refused to take this into account and would only pay us based on the combined income from the previous tax year.

Also £300 sounds like a lot. Our combined income (DH's full time wages and my incapacity benefit) is less than £24k and we only get £55 per month but that is with 1 child.

I would never go by the online calculator, always speak to them.

Haven't read the whole thread so sorry if this is repeating.

TotemPole · 01/03/2011 20:23

getting dla isn't as simple as just getting a doctor's letter
you do know that don't you?

Rannaldini, I realise you have to fill in forms and it may not be awarded. I just made the suggestion as I've read people receive it for mental health issues.

CrapBag · 01/03/2011 20:35

Its very very hard to get. I get the lowest rate care and its constantly up for review, taken away then awarded back on appeal.

Bloody nightmare benefit to claim. But the media make it sound so easy, its not at all.

OP, what about incapacity? Or employment and supposrt allowence as its now known. Mental health is taken into account if you cannot work because of it. May be worth looking into, just don't mention it to a couple of people on this thread. Wink

TotemPole · 01/03/2011 21:08

CrapBag, I've heard it's not simple. Maybe I shouldn't have suggested it as I don't really know much about it.Blush I just thought the OP read a bit panicky and it would be worth her looking into.

The reason I mentioned the doctor's letter is that, that would prove she's on medication and not just a bit down.

PrincessScrumpy · 01/03/2011 21:13

of your maternity pay, you minus £100 per month before calculating (odd but true, make sure you get the numbers right).

there may be ways round it but we didn't find it. The year we were struggling I got £30 a month, the following year, when I was working again, we got £350 ish, now we're back to £33 a month. Conservatives are looking at attacking them so not sure what will happen over the next 2 years!

Good luck!

TallyB · 01/03/2011 22:03

ohIamshafted Just echoing what others have said. Although, the DWP do usually use your earnings from the previous year to decide on your entitlement, if you have extenuating circumstances they can calculate it based on your current income. I claimed TC when I first started up as a freelancer and they did make various readjustments as my income fluctuated.

Oh, and ignore leximark! You are right he/she does sound thoroughly unpleasant. I'm sure his/her mum is very proud Hmm You have done the right thing! Your job was impractical; making you utterly miserable; and not even making you any money: to continue to do it simply to have a job would have been a pointless act of martyrdom.

Diablo82 · 02/03/2011 00:29

to continue to do ... a job would have been a pointless act of martyrdom

Why is working for a living martyring yourself? Is accepting state handouts more noble? I accept people need welfare but it should be a last resort, not a lifestyle choice.

leximark · 02/03/2011 07:46

Ok Op you haven't liked what i saidbut you did post on AIBU.

Of course we can only go off the information you gave us so it is pointless coming back with comments like you don't anything about my position. We can only comment on info you have given us.

I think YABU to use an on calaculator as hard evidence of money that you will receive. Why did you not make an appointment with the benefits office and talk through your predicament. Have you not heard the expression if it sounds too good to be true it probably is.

Also don't you realize that the goverment are gunning for people on any sort of benefit so the figure of £300 is likely to change for the worse anyway.

I know your job is stressful and your manager said you have to travel.
Did you tell them about your mental health issues and ask for support while you recover. If yes and they have ignored you you may have grounds for constructive dismissal.
if you haven't told them about your health how canthey help?

Clearly you are on AD's and I hope they are helping but could your doctor not have signed you off. It could have given you time to go job hunting. I know jobs are scarce and you may not have found anything but you would have been in a better position to get another job while you are currently working rather than explaining to a future employer that you left your last job because you couldn't cope.

I beleive in the welfare state and I have claimed benefits for 13 months when I was homeless 16 years ago.

What I don't like is people calculating that they are better on benefits rather than working.

I do hope things work out for you and that you are getting support for your depression.

Have you got a Women's Centre near you. The ones in my area offer a lot of support and advice on how to manage depression as well as other thinsgs such as councelling, help job hunting and they have a creche.

It may be worth looking there.

StealthPolarBear · 02/03/2011 07:59

so now you start asking about what she did or didn't do? Hmm
Huge assumptions were made in previous posts to have a go at the OP, too little too late IMO

StealthPolarBear · 02/03/2011 08:00

"Why is working for a living martyring yourself? Is accepting state handouts more noble? I accept people need welfare but it should be a last resort, not a lifestyle choice."

Diablo, do you think that in families where one parent SAH and the other earns under the threshold for taxcredits, the family shouldn't claim them?
(Genuine question)

leximark · 02/03/2011 08:05

SPB we can only go off info provided.
The OP asked was she BU that she messed up. Going from that info I had to she was was.

Goood job I don't give a toss what your opinion is.

Deciduousblonde · 02/03/2011 08:11

It's worth noting that the CTC was brought in to replace the married mans tax allowance.

Was that considered 'welfare' too?

VodkawithRosie · 02/03/2011 11:33

Leximark-"What I don't like is people calculating that they are better on benefits rather than working"

Where has the OP said this is what she has done?

"I gave up work in the belief after doing online benefits calculator that based on DH's salary I would receive tax credits of about £300 per month" is her actual statement.

You appear to have assumed from that this amount wou be more than she was earning and therefore she should give up.
TO me the OP means that she wasn't coping with work- she had ended up with mental health problems trying to manage, and had seen that the could manage on the CTC.

Aside from this, you cannot escape the reasoning that it is perfectly acceptable, in actual fact I would say preferable for one parent to SAH.

I work PT, (just so you know I am not defending my own position here) DH full time. We juggle childcare between us. If we needed to use other childcare I would not 'work' but would be a SAHM. Why is that any different than what OP is doing?

StealthPolarBear · 02/03/2011 16:16

lexi if you are incapable in asking a simple question to check facts before making huge assumptions then you will encounter many problems in life.

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