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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed with the school over this?

26 replies

prettymuchapixiegirl · 01/03/2011 08:28

When I dropped my 6 year old DD off at school yesterday morning she was fine. I picked her up at 3 and could see whilst she was waiting in the line at the classroom door that she looked very white and unwell. When she got over to me she burst into tears and said she'd had a headache and bad earache since morning break (10am) and had told 3 staff members, including her class teacher whom she told repeatedly, and although they'd agreed she looked white and felt hot, no one had called me.

I feel quite upset that DD had to spend an entire day feeling rubbish and clearly unwell, at school, when I was at home only 2 minutes away from the school all day and would happily have gone to collect her. I know some children do play on feeling ill but DD isn't like this and is usually very accurate and sensible with what she says, and in any case even if she did normally play on it, it was just so obvious that she was ill, she just looked so white. Her class teacher seems to be off sick at the drop of a hat so clearly doesn't want to be in school herself when ill, so I can't see why she would expect a 6 year old to just carry on.

I phoned the school, who said it seemed as though there had been a breakdown in communications, and that all the staff members thought that another would phone me. I said that I was cross about this and that I also felt sad for DD having to get through the day feeling so ill. She said at one point she just couldn't stop shivering, and she told the teacher on duty at lunch break who said "go and run round the playground". In addition to the teacher at lunchbreak and her class teacher, she also told the teacher that her class have for non-contact time during the afternoon.

Just to add that I'm normally very happy with the school and DD loves going, so in the grand scheme of things this is a very minor thing but I can't help feeling annoyed.

OP posts:
neighbourhoodwitch · 01/03/2011 08:31

Very upsetting and frustrating. Will you write a letter to the Head?

prettymuchapixiegirl · 01/03/2011 08:33

I'm not sure Neighbourhoodwitch; I sort of feel like I've made my point by phoning the school and don't want to look like a neurotic parent. We have parents evening later this week so I'll bring up the subject with her teacher then, as I only spoke to the receptionist yesterday. She kept me on hold whilst she spoke to the relevant staff members.

OP posts:
neighbourhoodwitch · 01/03/2011 08:40

ok, I see where you are coming from; I suppose I was thinking to make the point formally (not for everybody) and to make sure this sort of thing never happens again :0( I would be so upset - maybe it was a one-off bad comms thing, but still upsetting. I guess now it is how you deal with it mentally and try and let it 'go'...good luck x

kreecherlivesupstairs · 01/03/2011 08:40

YANBU in the slightest. My DD is a great actress and is always having an attack of the vapours. She is at a school with two full time nurses so as soon as she goes to them, they phone me.
Normally I just go to their office, see her and tell her to go back to class. On one occassion though, she was really sick and needed to come home.
It shouldn't have been left, particularly as your DD told more than one person.

prettymuchapixiegirl · 01/03/2011 08:43

I'll bring the subject up on parents evening and take it from there I think; if the teacher gives a "So what?" kind of response I'll send a letter in but I think me mentioning it will probably be enough and she'll feel mortified and make sure she keeps and extra eye on DD if she says she feels ill again.

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PandaNot · 01/03/2011 08:47

Exactly the same thing happened to my ds last year. He was ill all day with a UTI but because they were having a special 'moving around the classes' day no one realised he'd been ill all day. He was seriously ill by this time and ended up in hospital :(

Like you I was very upset, spoke to the HT about it who tried to work out what had happened and got back to me. As a teacher I know these things can just happen sometimes but it's not nice when it happens to you dc. What it means now is that school phone me whenever it looks like he might be ill - which can be both good and bad :)

prettymuchapixiegirl · 01/03/2011 09:09

Well I think a letter might be in order after all; I just phoned the school to let them know DD wouldn't be in today and spoke to a different receptionist (the one yesterday didn't seem to think it was particularly worth phoning about) who again didn't seem bothered at all and just said "I'll let the teacher know she's off today and mention it's because she was ill yesterday at school" and just didn't seem to get what I was saying.

OP posts:
upahill · 01/03/2011 09:14

"I'll let the teacher know she's off today and mention it's because she was ill yesterday at school" and just didn't seem to get what I was saying.

Well what did you want to the receptionist who you spoke to today do?

Sure you are annoyed, I would be to but you have made your point

SeeJaneKick · 01/03/2011 09:27

Ah...I would be annoyed too...poor DD. They're still small at 6...too small to be able to push the issue whereas an older child would be able to get it into a busy teachers head that they felt rotten.

I hope she's better soon

prettymuchapixiegirl · 01/03/2011 09:47

Upahill, when you phone in the receptionists ask a) what's wrong with your child? and b) when did the symptoms start?, I guess for in case the child has had D&V, so of course when I said the symptoms had started at about 10am yesterday, I added that DD had told teachers at school etc but no one had phoned me. The woman that I spoke to is in charge of all the receptionists and is also in charge of pastoral care and wellbeing of the children in school. You can go and see her about any health problems your child has, bullying etc.

Not sure what I wanted her to do really though, I just felt that she was totally unsympathetic and didn't seem to give a monkeys. Given that part of her job is dealing with the wellbeing of the children, I would have thought she'd have been a bit more concerned perhaps.

OP posts:
upahill · 01/03/2011 10:05

The receptionsit who you spoke to today isn't there to be conerend about the wellness of the pupils she is there to be a receptionist and do her tasks which in this case is to pass the message on to the teacher that your child isn't coming in.
The wheres and why are not her concern.

A bet on another post you would have a poster write ''I phoned the school today to say my child wasn't well and she wanted to know why and when did it start. What the hell is it to do with her.''

Sheesh! School receptionist can't win!

prettymuchapixiegirl · 01/03/2011 10:10

Eh? The woman I spoke to today is in charge of pastoral care at the school as I said in my previous post. No one has slagged off school receptionists on this thread as far as I can see. Why would I go and start another thread moaning about what she asked me? You seem to have gone off on the defensive and got totally the wrong end of the stick about this thread.

OP posts:
upahill · 01/03/2011 10:15

You did at 9.09 by saying you spoke to the recptionist today and she didn't get what you were saying!

If I've got it wrong sorry I'm a bit jaded.

prettymuchapixiegirl · 01/03/2011 10:18

She didn't get what I was saying! That's not slagging her off, it's stating a fact about the conversation I had with her. I can't see why you are taking it so personally, it wasn't you that was being referred to and I didn't say anything bad in any case.

You are clearly very sensitive and are therefore reading things that I didn't say or mean into my posts.

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StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 01/03/2011 10:22

I don't think it is 'slagging off school receptionists' to say that this particular receptionist did not get what the OP was trying to tell her - surely that is a simple statement of fact?

Prettymuch, I think you are doing the right thing by talking to the teacher about this at the parents evening. If you aren't happy with what she says, you can take it further then.

I hope your dd feels better soon.

callow · 01/03/2011 10:25

I think that you just need to tell the teacher that you would like to be called whenever your daughter felt ill. You could say that you will come and assess her and then decide if she needed to go home.

I had the opposite problem with the teacher calling me whenever my daughter said she wasn't well. On one occasion when I went to collect her and I was told she was on the playing field. So she wasn't that ill and was not ill when we went home. It was 2.30pm and it meant I had to collect my other daughter as well. After several of these calls in the space of 2 months, I spoke to the teacher about it. She said so you only want me to call when she vomits and I said Yes. The phone calls stopped after this.

My experience of primary schools is that there are some teachers who will call at the slightest hint of illness and others who will not call when a child is obviously ill.

upahill · 01/03/2011 10:27

Who said you were 'slagging off 'the receptionist.
Not me! -if I did can you show me where?

Perhaps StayingDAvidtennants girl could show me as well as because they have used the same phrase.

You said she didn't get what you were saying. I said why should she? She is there to pass on a message.What did you want hearts and flowers???

I'm not being sensitive I think you are picking faults with people who have nothing to do with with your child being ill.
Fine be upset at the teacher but you have said your bit to the school.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 01/03/2011 10:30

Prettymuch said 'no-one had slagged off receptionists' to which you replied, 'you did, at 9.09 by saying you spoke to the recptionist today and she didn't get what you were saying!'

That is where I got it from, upahill.

upahill · 01/03/2011 10:33

Fair enough SDTG!
Sorry

(Bit I didn't slag anyone off!!! Grin)

prettymuchapixiegirl · 01/03/2011 10:34

Upahill, clearly you are not in the right place at the moment for whatever reason, to have a rational discussion. You are going round in circles and trying to make an argument where there is none.

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prettymuchapixiegirl · 01/03/2011 10:37

And upahill you seem to keep ignoring the fact, whether it's on purpose I don't know, that the woman I spoke to this morning wasn't just the receptionist, she is in charge of pastoral care at the school. That's 3 times now that I have said that to you, and the previous two times you've come back at me saying that she's just the receptionist and that she's just there to pass on a message, when that's not strictly true about the staff member I spoke to this morning.

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StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 01/03/2011 10:38

No bother, upahill. Would you like a Brew and a Biscuit to dunk in it? Smile

upahill · 01/03/2011 10:43

SDTG No thanks I've just had a coffee and a marmlade ryvita. I'm going off on my bike for an hour while it's nice!

OP You didn't say it on your first post though when you said about the receptionist. I still don't get what you wanted her to do pastoral or not.

Actually I'm in a good mood! I've just laughed my head off at something on youtube, my rock music is on and it is a good day for some biking!

Hope you DD is well soon. It's horrible when they are poorly.

prettymuchapixiegirl · 01/03/2011 10:46

I hadn't spoke to her when I made my first post. I phoned in to the school again this morning to notify them that DD wouldn't be in today. The phone call I referred to in my OP I actually made yesterday afternoon when DD came home from school.

Thanks anyway, I hope she's well soon too, she seems to have perked up a bit this morning but her ears still hurt her a lot. We're off to the doctors at 11.50.

Thanks everyone for the supportive replies and get well wishes for DD; I just hope she doesn't share her germs with me this time like she normally does.... Wink

OP posts:
HappySeven · 01/03/2011 11:10

Upahill, hope you have a great day biking - it is a gorgeous day for it.

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