to want dh to apply for a job that involves relocation

[COCKadoodledooo]

We're happy and settled where we are. Ds1 is in a fab school, dh is enjoying his job by and large (although he has applied for another which is a much shorter commute - 15 mins as opposed to 50+).

But...

We're a long way from family. And I dunno if this has been hammered home just now because Mum and Dad have just been to visit for the weekend, but I miss them. And I think it's crap that their grandsons don't get to see them more than 6 or 7 times a year tops.

And I've discovered that there's a suitable position available for dh (he's a teacher btw) at a school about half an hour from my folks, and my sister and her family. It'd also move us closer to his folks (2 hours as opposed to the 7ish it is atm - though I'm not convinced that's necessarily a good thing ).

I want dh to apply. He doesn't. One of us has to get our own way - AIBU to want it to be me?!

Yabu. You can't make him do something he doesn't want to do. You're wasting your time and energy. Surely both of you would have to discuss and agree upon such a big move?

You say you are happy and settled where you are and your DS is in a good school, why the need to move?

If you are already happy what's to say you will be happy if you move and then realise you wish you had not.

YABU, do you work? how would you feel if your DH wanted you to apply for job you didnt want?

YANBU to want it to be you, it's natural to want to get your way . Trying to push him into doing what you want would be unreasonable though.

YABU. Your DH doesn't want to apply for the job, you cannot feel it is acceptable to force him. I'm not saying you're not entitled to raise a larger discussion such as the potential for a move closer to family in the long term, but demanding so explictly "there's the position i want you to apply for, even though you've said you don't want to" is not being reasonable.

Can I ask if you work?

Having done the SAHP thing, the part timer thing, and now back to full time thing, I have to say that the biggest negative for me for work is the lack of control and flexibility about what I'm doing and when I'm doing it. There are good things about it (naturally!) but, for example, I do miss me being able to control where I go on which days, who I see during the day, at work it's all prescribed - if my DH came home and said something like in your OP, it would fill me with a sense of despair at the fact that what little control I have about fulltime work (which employer I choose, where I commute to, if i go for or decline promotions) would be taken out of my hands. Can you appreciate what your DH might feel if he's of a similar mindset to my own on that one?

Yabu to want it to be you, you aren't the one that has to change jobs.

Cheers all. I know I am really. And he won't apply for it, I know he won't, so pointless thread really. Might not stop me sulking though

We are happy here, for sure. This place is the longest we've lived since we've been married (here 5.5 years, married 13 in June), we have roots, we have fantastic friends. But no family within 100 miles, and even then that's aunts and uncles, rather than the parental types. Fwiw, every move we've made (this is our 5th home since marriage) has been a result of a career move for him.

I don't work atm no, though it's not through lack of trying.

Frgr totally get what your saying. He probably is similar to you.

Meh, I'm just having a bit of a sulk because I miss my ma and pa.

considered skype?