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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have told them to stick their job

31 replies

gymsleepandfreedom · 28/02/2011 11:56

After months working in a mindless, incredibly stressful city job that I am over qualified for (Masters degree) with some great people and some wankers which was well paid but made me feel like my soul was being sucked out, I have walked. Without a job to go to, or savings, in a recession, to chase a dream.

I am going to apply for phD funding today, go to the gym a lot, remember what sleep feels like and hope I can keep myself above water while I train to be a personal trainer and attempt to get a job where I really really want to be and used to be (can't say as would give myself away).

I don't have DCs to support and feel I have to do this before I am too old. HIBU to do this with nowhere to go yet in this current climate, especially considering phd funding is so hard to get and I didn't get a first ?

OP posts:
clinkers · 28/02/2011 11:58

You wont get much sleep doing a PhD but good luck :)

worraliberty · 28/02/2011 11:58

Oh dear I think you'd better start practising "Do you want fries with that?"

Debs75 · 28/02/2011 11:59

Go for it. you have no dependants so you can focus on what needs to be done without worrying how to feed them. Be prepared for not getting the funding but even if you don't when else could you do something like this?

gorionine · 28/02/2011 11:59

It is a bit "crazy" but in a situation were I hated my job, I would do the same! Good luck on your quest for funding and all the best in your new life!

clinkers · 28/02/2011 12:00

What area would your phd be in? I know of a few going.

IsItMeOr · 28/02/2011 12:00

As you don't have DCs, and hopefully no mortgage, I can understand why you felt the need to take drastic action.

I can't remember how PhD funding works - I never started mine because I got a better offer - but I'm guessing you might not be at the right time of year to actually start - aren't most of them linked to the university academic year?

Either way, I think you know that you need to sleep a lot over the next week, and then find yourself another job to keep your head above water while you apply for PhD and retrain as personal trainer.

Good luck!

Debs75 · 28/02/2011 12:00

why 'oh dear' If you are prepared to work hard to get your phd and to get a part time job what is the harm in doing a few shifts in a take away, especially if it leads to your dream job

thunderbird69 · 28/02/2011 12:06

A very brave step, but if you never try you'll never know.

Good luck to you!

Original poster
gymsleepandfreedom · 28/02/2011 12:07

clinkers Politics - ideally history of political thought. Any help would be greatly appreciated - I'll go anywhere in the country.

I have no mortgage and I own property outright - so it won't come to MacDonalds time for a while yet!

I just cannot sit in a glass box every day doing something I hate while life passes me by, I stop being able to sleep, I've been fainting because too stressed to eat etc

OP posts:
Queenofchaos · 28/02/2011 12:09

Good decision! The only time you can do something like this is when you have no dependents. You have picked the perfect time In your life to do it and if you hadn't done it you would have spent the rest of your life wondering why not and regretting not having taken the plunge.
Well done and good luck! Really hope it works out for you!

BeenBeta · 28/02/2011 12:11

I did that too many years ago. It was a good feeling.

Try not to have a six month old child wriggling around on your lap while you are writing up your thesis though. It is very very hard work.

Good luck. Smile

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 28/02/2011 12:13

Congratulations! I did the same thing last year - left a job I once liked but was bored of to pursue the dream (I want to be a writer).

AND I have dependents AND a big mortgage.

The world hasn't caved in yet. Grin And I still have a roof over my head. Being able to sit in Costa Coffee with my mac and write is amazing...

"Leap and the net will appear" is my motto.

MissJanuary · 28/02/2011 12:14

I applaud you for taking the plunge, good luck to you.

I don't have a clear enough picture yet of what would be my dream job (and I'm 37!), I have an idea but have no real knowledge of this field.

Your posting reminds me of the get up an go attitude I had in my early 20's, I need to get some of that va va voom back.

Again, the best of luck to you, with such a positive goal and attitude I think you will succeed.

SueWhite · 28/02/2011 12:15

Can't really see how doing a PhD and training to be a personal trainer contribute to each other.

I think you should have got PhD funding before you quit your job as there's not much of it about... and if you didn't get a first, well, I would say you will need a lot of luck.

Original poster
gymsleepandfreedom · 28/02/2011 12:19

My personal trainer costs £50 an hour, were I to do this (I already go to the gym 5 times a week and did science A levels - I've thought about it for a while) for 15 hours a month I could more than pay my rent. It makes sense to me to supplement any funding I hope to get for the phD.

OP posts:
Original poster
gymsleepandfreedom · 28/02/2011 12:20

Thank you for your support, it's making me a little less scared.

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 28/02/2011 12:23

i think good on you!brave and bit mad but if you can afford to do it(no dc,financially safe etc)why not try!

StealthPolarBear · 28/02/2011 12:27

did you actually tell them to stick thei job? tell us more!

thefurryone · 28/02/2011 12:29

I used to work in the city, now I'm doing a PhD, not sure I should tell you the truth about which is the more stressful Wink

Joking aside although it is stressful it is a very different kind of stress as the pressure comes from within rather than from others expectations IYSWIM.

Someone mentioned funding not starting at this time of year, it totally depends on who is doing the funding and you don't have to start a PhD at the beginning of an academic year. The only warning I would have is that many academic institutions are not know for their haste in delivering a response on such matters.

Good luck.

HerMajestiesSecretCervix · 28/02/2011 12:34

Well done. I did the same although I did not tell them to stick their job as I did not want to close any doors ;) . I am now re- qualifying at the grand age of 41 to do something I can believe in and be passionate about. You have done the right thing.

brightredsky · 28/02/2011 12:37

Have done the same recently. I left a v high prsssured, well paid job because it was making me ill. We have dcs, debts, a mortgage , the lot, and are now going to seriously struggle until I find something else. But health, smiling children and good temper cannot be bought. Good luck Grin

Original poster
gymsleepandfreedom · 28/02/2011 12:38

No, I was very polite and have parted with my fantastic former boss who I have ultimate respect for on great terms with great references.

If anyone can offer funding advice please do. I'm looking at ESRC 3+1 but the competition is very fierce and deadlines very very soon, there are also a couple of other separate funding opportunities one of which I really, really want as my research interests match.

I'm scared but happy. DP is home today and he says he hasn't seen me so happy in a very long time.

OP posts:
mmsmum · 28/02/2011 12:39

You are crazy and I love it!

You go girl! Grin

Ephiny · 28/02/2011 12:40

I did a very similar thing, somehow ended up in graduate job in the City which felt like a big achievement at the time, as it was well-paid and a prestigious firm, but as time went on I found I hated it more and more, and was just completely bored and uninspired by it and wanted to be doing something more worthwhile.

Now in my first year of a funded PhD and love it, and really want to continue in research afterwards if possible (though I have a couple other options in mind in case that doesn't work out!). It was a bit less a leap of faith as I had funding guaranteed before I quit, and fairly good savings after several years of working. Completely agree about it being a different kind of stress (a better kind!), as now it's all about meeting my own expectations and achieving the things I want to, rather than the stress of surviving every day without making too many mistakes or getting yelled at too many times.

Original poster
gymsleepandfreedom · 28/02/2011 12:47

Epiphany this is exactly what I want to be doing! Yeah I went into finance in the city and thought it would be amazing but no, it was hell and I was watching my life slip away from me. Now I seriously hope to get funding and if I don't then I'll apply next year with more time to research my proposal, I feel that I know what I want to do and now I just have to do it.

OP posts: