AIBU to not like swearing?

[Anushka11]

not having grown up with bad language (a cultural thing, I think), I am still after 16 yrs in this country surprised at the amount of bad language used and seemingly acceptable, but I have sort of learned to live with it.
My problem though is I really dislike it at home, I find it very agressive and intimidating, not to talk about unpleasant. DP, who is a lovely man in all other respects, uses bad language quite a lot, particularly the "f" word in all it's varieties. He knows,I have a problem with it, but does not see the problem himself, and finds it difficult to control this habit. So, I call him to say "you've left this at mine" and he goes "FFS!!!" down the phone, getting annoyed with himself he's left it, and I get very intimidated, thinking "what did I do to annoy him enough to swear at me like that" even if I know it's nothing to do with me, it is the reaction I have to hard-core swearing.
AIBU to expect him to moderate his language? Or am I a nagging witch?

YANBU

I hate swearing and hardly ever use bad language myself. Luckily dh shares my views. I don't mind other people swearing, a lot of people just don't see it as an issue but I agree that use of swear words in the UK is excessive!!

I think it's a generational thing.

I swear a bit but never in front of children or my parents. My parents don't swear in front of me either and I don't even let my kids say words like 'crap'.

The younger generation don't see words like crap or bloody as swearing and I've noticed more and more the 'F word' being said on TV as a matter of fact without being bleeped out or anything.

Sign of changing times I think.

YANBU to not like swearing, alot of people dont.

However, I think it is a bit of an over reaction to be intimidated by it, especially if your DP isnt intimidating in any other way. Its just language he choose to use and is probably so used to using it that he doesnt realise he is swearing half the time. "FFS" is a fairly standard exclamation of annoyance, and to feel that he is somehow being threatening to you is an over reaction.

I don't mind swearing, I think should be quite far down the list of 'evils'. If it is even on the list at all.

Re your DP using "FFS" - I wouldn't take it as a sign that he is really annoyed. It's just an expression.

I freely use the F word when speaking to both my parents and my PILs. I don't allow my children to say it (or hear it) as they are only 4 and 2.

There is some heavy language on mumsnet. (which would not be allowed elsewhere.)

I think swearing is most effective when used in small doses rarely.
The F-word used repeatedly is lazy and ends up being meaningless but still offendingt half of the population (is not generally used even in the tabloid press)

Does it show a lack of self control or being unable to ditch a habit used by parents? So "baby"
you are going to be very offended when your children come home from school with their first playgroun F-word?

Swearing is useful when in great pain. (Nurses allow it, I am told) which seems reasonable

cheers "Gabby" (not allowed to say bloody on air.)

Swearing at someone and swearing in front of them are two very different things. Calling someone a fcking whatever or telling them to fck off is confrontational and could be intimidating, however personally I see adults sweating for emphasis as fairly harmless.

That said, if it's truly upsetting I think you your DH should be considerate of your feelings and at least try not to swear in front of you.

YANBU to dislike swearing. At least you made your point without denouncing those of us with potty mouths as scum of the earth

If you don't like your DP swearing, tell him so.

YANBU I can't bear it either and I grew up in this culture!! I can't cope with 'In the thick of it' on telly because of all the swearing. I can't even sit in the same room when it's on.

I live in the wilds of Oop North, that's my excuse (ex-mining village - very 'earthy!')

Bogey- yes, I know. I have been in an abusive relationship before, were swearing could be a precursor to far worse, so that's stuck with me- hence I do find it intimidating, I'm afraid.

I see opinions are devided on this matter :)

Swearing doesnt bother me in the slightest. Although "Gabby" , my parents never swore badly in front of me until I was an adult, and then started using words that I (or my sisters) used first

I dont like people being aggressive, but you can be aggressive without swearing, or swear without being aggressive...

bupcakes, I was relying on someone like you to pop the swearing cherry on this thread.

I obviously have lost my powers of anticipating how a thread will go.

Nah.

I don't mind if people are nice about it. It's the ones like that twat from the other day who said something along the lines of "if you say the c-word that shows what kind of person you are" that rile me into swearing

Oops

Pregnant fish, bup ?

(disclose: know this is a myth!)

Thank you, Squarepants

YABFU

Sorry, couldn't help myself

[wunk]

allsquare...I take the point you made amusingly.

chica...Its a pity it put you off "the thick of it" it was funny political satire.

But the politicians did say we dont swear that much. (It can be a matter of degree.)

"Gabby"

You could always try a wee trick on him. Suggest (in an informal way) that the Office of National Statistics (ONS) has stated that there is correlation between people who habitually swear, and levels on intelligence - it the more they swear, the less intelligent they are. Reason? Because they read very little. The less you read, the less likely you are to accumulate a more suitable set of adjectives!

Gabby DH says I would love the word play etc but I honestly can't listen to it. It makes my ears bleed!

I find swearing threatening and intimidating even when not directed at me. It seems to me to be an expression of aggression and I can't feel comfortable with it.
Must be my age.

YANBU

Most depressing thing of all - hearing little children swear.

I don't like it either to be honest. It's hard to explain why, I know the idea of certain words being 'bad' is silly, just that it always sounds aggressive and unpleasant to me and I don't like it.

I think it's not about the words themselves actually, but the tone etc with which they're often used, so then even when they're used in a casual/non-angry way, the associations with the way they're usually used make me feel uncomfortable.