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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder how different it would be if men did the breastfeeding...

22 replies

thefruitwhisperer · 28/02/2011 09:14

This morning at 7am my husband said to me, "come on get up. Im tired too you know"

I calmly explained that he had lain beside me snoring while I was up at 1am, 4am and 6am breastfeeding!!!

Angry
OP posts:
Bogeyface · 28/02/2011 09:16

I dont think BF is the issue. The question should be

AIBU to wonder why some men are thoughtless selfish inconsiderate wankers?

Maybe you should wake him up with a time check everytime you feed the baby. "ITS ONE O'CLOCK AND ALLS WELLLLLLLL!" type thing!

thefruitwhisperer · 28/02/2011 09:21

In his case BF is the issue. Hes got no clue how long it takes because hes too busy watching Dr Who. even angrier emoticon

OP posts:
thefruitwhisperer · 28/02/2011 09:22

Ah fudge, I made it bold by mistake... [even fucking angrier than before]

OP posts:
CoronaAndLime · 28/02/2011 09:23

I.
Feel
your
pain
Angry

Bogeyface · 28/02/2011 09:23

Ah ok. I am just going on the fact that ex was like this and I FF, so it didnt make any difference about the feeding method.

Time to "involve" him more I think. He wont know unless you show him! I would wake him up and ask for a cup of tea each time you start and then wake him up to put the baby back down when you finish!

Owlingate · 28/02/2011 09:27

Here's what I did - every other night (or every fri night or however you want to do it) he brings you the baby in bed for a feed, stays awake for the feed then takes baby off you after feed to wind change and resettle. I got to the stage where I could practically stay asleep while feeding...

linziluv · 28/02/2011 09:28

This sounds sooooo familiar!
A bit different, but Xmas day we got up at 7am, let DS open prezzies while I frantically run around with bin bag collecting rubbish, DP plays for a bit, I prepare dinner, walk the dog, find an open shop.....
"I'm going back to bed for a few hours, I'm really tired" !!!!
I had bought everything, wrapped everything, organized everything.....I let him go as was picking jaw up off floor!
He also complained of exhaustion when I was in labour!
I've wound myself up now Angry lol

BaronessBomburst · 28/02/2011 09:33

My DH does this too. He has no bloody idea of what tired really is...... Neither did I pre-DS. 24/7 with a small child. It's hell.

If men breastfed, there would be an abundance of BF counsellors, maternity leave would be at least 18 months, and nannies would be available on the NHS. Grin

thefruitwhisperer · 28/02/2011 09:43

Haha! Thats so true, Baroness!

I cant believe he said he was exhausted while you were in labour, linzi!!! Thats terrible!

Alot of my non mum friends often complain about being tired but I give them the benefit of the doubt - I had no idea before DS came along either! DP however, should pay more attention!

OP posts:
ThreeBubbasAndManyBumps · 28/02/2011 09:44

Good idea owlinggate might try that one with DH. I don't think it's a lack of sympathy for us as breastfeeding mothers, more a lack of understanding. There is no comparison for men unless we do something like owlinggate has suggested.

My DH trooped off to bed early the other night while I was with DS waiting for him to wake up to feed (I was too pathetic to try to move him upstairs to his crib to sleep too). DH said he was tired so off he went, while I fumed silently to myself! Hmm

linzi Shock at your DH!!! It's not too early for a Wine is it? :o

jetgirl · 28/02/2011 09:49

My midwife told DH that his job was to wind the baby after the night feeds, and do nappy changes Grin I loved my midwife! And my husband, more importantly, believed every word she said!

linzi - my husband napped during my labour as he found it tiring. No stamina these men Grin

linziluv · 28/02/2011 09:51

Lol threebubbas...unfortunately it's approx 12 weeks early for a drink! (pregnant)....
He's always like this...on days he has DS he'll drop him off while he goes back to bed, regardless of whether or not I'm working a late shift! He suffers lazyitis though Hmm

linziluv · 28/02/2011 09:55

jetgirl....when contractions first started at about 3am, I got up, once I was sure it was labour I went into DP to tell him...he responded with "no you're not, it's too early" ! Mum had to leave night shift early to be with me!
God, I deserve a medal!

ThreeBubbasAndManyBumps · 28/02/2011 10:09

Oh, well I'll have one for you linzi Hmm :o

BlackBag · 28/02/2011 10:11

My DP was also absolutely sure that I could n't be in labour in the middle of the night- the midwife kindly came out and I had the baby 3pm next day. DH was very tired after the whole experience because he had n't got much sleep.

So if DH took on the breast feeding...

Pre birth, NHS funded weekend courses in Hotel activity centres studying the theorey with trust and team building exercises. Baby's head should be tipped back like she's necking a pint.

Lots of gadgets, we're not talking a safety pin here to remind you which side. So phone apps, timers, heated cushions, ambient chill out music, soft lights, specialy adapted computer controls to allow gaming, flatscreen tv at foot of bed.

Food, not just what you've managed to throw in the trolley whilst covered in baby sick, a huge pad between your legs and carrying a large bulky, unbalanced, two handed car seat round after a major op nooooo.

Steak, roast dinners, ice-cream, more steak, starters, garlic bread, more ice-cream, ohhh I really feel like some rice pudding.

Moderate alchol encouraged by all health professionals and the Daily Mail because it's important for him to relax.

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 28/02/2011 10:15

linziluv , gotta join you in the martyr labour... Grin
I had my first contraction at about 1am, let DH sleep til 7am while I was awake all night! DS was born 5 hours later.

He brings me DS for the night feeds though, and if hes on a night shift he'll take DS down when he gets in and leave me in bed :)

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 28/02/2011 10:17

I have to say though, DHs moobs are saggy enough as it is! Grin
(DH if you read this, I'm joking)

KaraStarbuckThrace · 28/02/2011 10:21

Blackbag - don't forget the automatic lifter & latcher to lift baby out of the cot/moses basket and latch baby one while the man sleeps Grin

Thefruitwhisperer. Time to hide the remotes, methinks!

catwhiskers10 · 28/02/2011 10:35

God I dread to think. It would either be that DC would half starve because they would listen to their mums advice and only feed every 4 hours and leave the baby to scream in the cot all night because "they don't need fed at night"
Or
They would sit with baby latched on 24/7 and make a huge fuss about how tiring BF is and how they cant possibly do anything else in the house as they are BF constantly and soooo tired.

iamaLeafontheWind · 28/02/2011 10:41

If my DH had my boobs he would spend the whole time playing with them.

FortunateHamster · 28/02/2011 10:48

They wouldn't breastfeed at all.

Actually, most wouldn't. Am sure a few would give it a go.

MyPrettyFloralBonnet · 28/02/2011 10:52

Bless my dp, he did like to tell me how he had no sleep for over 30 hours when ds was born. He was then reminded gently that actually no, I went into labour at 3.30am but let him sleep til 8, then he had a nice 2 hour nap on the sofa in the hospital (listening to his mp3 so my increasingly loud whining didnt disturb him), then skipped off home in the afternoon after ds was born to a further 8 hours sleep, whilst the most sleep I got for the next 6 weeks was the hour and half whilst in theatre getting the 3rd degree tear fixed.

Probably not very relevant to this thread but I think I may be the tiniest bit irked!

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