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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be peeved with my mum over this comment?

13 replies

Jane7 · 27/02/2011 22:42

I'm 20 weeks pregnant and a bit grumpy because my SPD (pelvic pain thingy) that I got last pregnancy only at about 35 weeks - but did eventually lead to me not being to able to walk very far at all - has come back this time already. This evening, my mum said to me "It's only because you are so in touch with your body" which sparked a horrible argument as I felt really annoyed with her comment. She might as well have said "it's all in your mind".
DP says I'm being over sensitive but please tell me, is that or is that not an annoying thing to say to someone who has spent the day with a sharp pain in their butt?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 27/02/2011 22:45

YAB a bit over-sensitive.

She means because you are aware of what the pain is, you are going to worry more about it. She didnt mean it was in your mind at all.

Last time you may have had a few twinges earlier, but perhaps not put them down to being SPD whereas this time because you know what the pain is like you are more aware of it.. IYSWIM..

mmsmum · 27/02/2011 22:46

I don't know, everything my mum says is unreasonable, but are you sure she didn't mean it nicely? It sounds like a nice thing to say to me and maybe your pain and pregnancy have made you take it the wrong way. I know what I'm like when I'm in pain, I'm a total dragon! I don't know, only you know your mum and the tone she used. But maybe you could put a tack on her chair so she knows how it feels hee hee

Original poster
Jane7 · 27/02/2011 22:53

Thank you people - you're probably right. I shall try to be nice about it in the morning. I have been horribly cranky and unreasonable this pregnancy, I just can't snap out of it. It's like I've slightly lost my sense of humour about everything because I've been feeling sick and drained. I suppose the background is she has a habit of always telling me how in touch wiht my body when I mention some ailment or other which I've started to feel means she thinks I'm overreacting and over-worrying about things. Thank you though for replying MN people.

OP posts:
igetmorelovefromthecat · 27/02/2011 22:56

I think you may be being a bit over-sensitive. But I can sympathise with you on the SPD, it's proper grim isn't it.

Original poster
Jane7 · 27/02/2011 23:01

lovefromcat - yes yes yes, i'm just so annoyed it looks like i'm going to be living with it for next five months of pregnancy . unless i stumble upon miracle cure. know any?

OP posts:
igetmorelovefromthecat · 27/02/2011 23:22

Nope, I didn't find anything that could help (apart from giving birth!). Was pretty much bedridden for the last two months. Hence the 4 1/2 stone I put on! Sorry I can't say anything more positive. Good luck.

Pollo · 28/02/2011 06:28

Jane7,really sorry you are having this pain again. Try, though, to ignore your mother's comment. I became totally obsessed with a comment my mother made last autumn. Ten days later she died very suddenly. Try, try, try and good luck! Hope all goes well.

pinkdelight · 28/02/2011 08:21

I don't know how old your mum is, but I know my mum (67) has a bit of trouble with how much we know about our pregnancies now - she had no scans, no internet, no idea about lots of the conditions that we research in great detail and worry about these days. Course she thinks it's a good thing that we know more, but I could see her making a comment like that, not meaning to hurt me but just thinking back to how she wouldn't have heard of SPD, but maybe just thought it was all part of being pregnant and got on with it.

Sorry about the SPD anyway. At least knowing what it is, you can hopefully minimise its progression. As soon as I felt the onset this second time, I got the tummy band on, stopped doing anything that aggravated it and got down the osteopath. Wasn't too bad after all.

BendyBob · 28/02/2011 08:26

Aw poor mum - and you! You are absolutely allowed to be cranky but I think she's right in fact. We are more tuned in to ourselves during pregnancy. I'm sure she didn't mean anything other than that. Hope you feel ok again soon.

GiddyPickle · 28/02/2011 08:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HumphreyCobbler · 28/02/2011 08:41

I think it is an annoying comment actually, as if the pain would be not noticable to anyone who was less self obsessed.

I agree you should let it go though, she probably didn't actually mean to be that annoying. I found that SPD pain brought the most annoying side of other people out, they just have no idea of how awful it is unless they have been through it.

Bogeyface · 28/02/2011 08:51

As a fellow SPD sufferer, who is about to rant on a related subject, I sympathise! However, it is likely that your mum meant, as someone said above, that you know what you are looking for this time so notice it earlier. The trouble is, when we are in pain and worried we tend to be a bit more sensitive to comments, I know I am!

As for miracle cures, I dont have any I am afraid but do make sure that you ask for a physio referral asap as they can take a while to come through. When you get it, dont be afraid to ask for whatever you need.

diddl · 28/02/2011 09:52

I agree that your mum probably meant that you are more aware this time.

And she´s probably feeling awful that she can´t help.

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